6 definitions by THE_00F_MAN
Like the great Shaolin Monks of the majestic Tibetan Monasteries, fap aficionados must go through incredible amounts of training and meditation to achieve seminal enlightenment.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Now, there are two key words that all fap aficionados must know: speed and endurance.
The average joe will often finish masturbating in 9-15 minutes, as studies show. However, a fap aficionado will be able to blow these times out of the water with a staggering 45 seconds-2 minutes (and that takes dedication!).
To be able to go so hard, the fap aficionado must learn how to endure the pain and sheer intensity of the “2-minute quickie”, as this is a very hard thing to do. One must exercise their hand muscles to the point of being able to crush an unripe walnut with one singular hand.
But this is not all, young child, the fap aficionado must also know how to do the fap and piss maneuver. This specific technique takes ages to master, and can cause the “doer” of the task extreme pain, or even nut shut.
With these skills and traits combined, anyone who has a penis can master their shaft and become one of the greats.
Marv: Bro, you’ll never get done in time, the teacher’s gonna ask where you are!
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
Billy: Relax Marvin, I’m a fap aficionado, I can handle this.
by THE_00F_MAN November 18, 2019
The result of mixing semen and hot water, which causes the semen to become extremely thick, rubbery, and blob-like. The most common places one can see this phenomena is at bath houses, pools with hot tubs, and fraternity house showers.
by THE_00F_MAN November 18, 2019
A very affectionate term of endearment, often used to describe a very thirsty woman who is often used by men only for her body (which usually is not very attractive); she is just a vessel in which men deposit their seminal discharge when they feel “in the mood”, hence the name “cum dumpster”
Terry: Hey bro, did you hear that Angelo fucked Christie last night?
Bowie: Yeah bro, Christie’s a total cum dumpster. Angelo was just trying to get laid for the second time this week.
Terry: Oh, interesting. Thanks for explaining that to me, you’re a great friend Bowie.
Bowie: Thanks Terry, now stop calling me at 3am on a Saturday and go back to bed.
Terry: Oof.
Bowie: Yeah bro, Christie’s a total cum dumpster. Angelo was just trying to get laid for the second time this week.
Terry: Oh, interesting. Thanks for explaining that to me, you’re a great friend Bowie.
Bowie: Thanks Terry, now stop calling me at 3am on a Saturday and go back to bed.
Terry: Oof.
by THE_00F_MAN November 18, 2019
The common occurrence that men experience after an intense fap session, to be Nutted Shut is quite a painful experience, as one temporarily lacks the ability to piss.
It is a long tedious process to try and urinate after masturbation, but if you manage to (very unlikely), you will be met by the most god-awful burning sensation you have ever experienced. This specific sensation feels like you are being stabbed in the urethra by millions of tungsten carbide needles. The only people who can somehow tolerate/avoid this little scenario is the fap aficionado, which is mentioned in a different article.
It is a long tedious process to try and urinate after masturbation, but if you manage to (very unlikely), you will be met by the most god-awful burning sensation you have ever experienced. This specific sensation feels like you are being stabbed in the urethra by millions of tungsten carbide needles. The only people who can somehow tolerate/avoid this little scenario is the fap aficionado, which is mentioned in a different article.
Jerry Jerkoff: Ugh...
Freddy Fapsalot: What’s wrong jerry?
Jerry Jerkoff: Oh man, I just Nutted Shut so bad today.
Freddy Fapsalot: Dude, you could have prevented that by pissing before you decided to choke your chicken.
Jerry Jerkoff: Thanks Freddy, I’ll use that the next time I feel horny and lonely.
Freddy Fapsalot: What’s wrong jerry?
Jerry Jerkoff: Oh man, I just Nutted Shut so bad today.
Freddy Fapsalot: Dude, you could have prevented that by pissing before you decided to choke your chicken.
Jerry Jerkoff: Thanks Freddy, I’ll use that the next time I feel horny and lonely.
by THE_00F_MAN November 18, 2019
A common thing that men experience in the mornings or after post-ejaculation; the pee splits into two even streams, causing the witness of this event to miss the toilet bowl completely, which results in two identical puddles on either side of said toilet.
Not to be confused with meiospiss
Not to be confused with meiospiss
Jimmy was so angry with himself yesterday morning. He had a bad case of mitospiss and missed the toilet completely
by THE_00F_MAN September 24, 2019
Jimmy was so angry with himself yesterday morning. He had a bad case of meiospiss and missed the toilet completely
by THE_00F_MAN September 24, 2019