4 definitions by Stuart Mcstiffenrod
A rustic, dauntless, and valiant facial grooming choice that consists of a voluptuous patch of hair encompassing the mouth region of a brave male subject. The purpose of this hygiene choice is to complete the seal between said males mouth and his counterparts Kennebunkport chowder factory as he performs traditional cunnilingus. Some have said this seal could be compared to that of a fresh set of head gaskets on a pristine 1993 Mazda Miata. Most often you can distinguish a beaver gasket by its distinct smell which is often said to smell like a mix of freshly cut timber and freeze dried goliath grouper. Also referred to as a goatee by the layperson.
At first I didn’t think he knew what he was doing because when he went down there it sounded like the sump pump in my basement after a heavy rainfall but then he grew a beaver gasket and now only thing strong then that seal is a fresh bucket of flex seal
by Stuart Mcstiffenrod August 25, 2020
A brazen yet thoughtful sexual move most prominent in the south western regions of New Hampshire or North Eastern regions of modern day Czechia. This show stopper involves a male at near climax pulling out his hammer and while ejaculating on his counterparts face throwing bread crumbs from a small paper bag at said individual causing the crumbs to get stuck in the ejaculate on the individuals face. A nice touch that this presidential sized panty soaker also brings to your relationship is the ejaculate that did manage to make it halfway down your counterparts throat causing them to gargle and thus creating a “cooing” sound that could be mistaken for an adolescent pigeon to the untrained ear. For best results it is recommended this occur on an isolated park bench or historical building rooftop.
“Suzan I have never experienced anything like it. At first I thought he was going to shoot his halibut hollandaise in my two fingered fish mitten but then I got it in the face followed by half a loaf of wonder bread 9 grain so I knew at that point I had experienced the pigeon shooter”
by Stuart Mcstiffenrod June 24, 2020
Legend has it that tucked deep in the foothills of northern New England are two men who have achieved the ultimate level of manliness. It is said that when God said “Let there be light!” They responded with “say please”. They can both speak braille, do a wheelie on a unicycle and dribble a bowling ball. One of them once won a game of connect four in three moves while the other slammed a revolving door. They are also the real reason that Waldo is hiding. Imagine men whose jawlines could have chiseled Mount Rushmore and whose abs you could do your laundry on. All of these impressive accolades aside, they were able to accomplish all of this with a mere dash of Brut...The Essence of Man... across their chins... chins that I might add that they shave with chainsaws.
Oh my goodness have you heard of the Brut Brothers? I’ve heard they have managed to make a 70 year old aftershave sexy again! I’ve also heard they’re like a sexy mix between a lumber jack and Burt Reynolds when he was in his prime.
by Stuart Mcstiffenrod February 24, 2021
Legend has it that tucked deep in the foothills of northern New England are two men who have achieved the ultimate level of manliness. It is said that when God said “Let there be light!” They responded with “say please”. They can both speak braille, do a wheelie on a unicycle and dribble a bowling ball. One of them once won a game of connect four in three moves while the other slammed a revolving door. They are also the real reason that Waldo is hiding. Imagine men whose jawlines could have chiseled Mount Rushmore and whose abs you could do your laundry on. All of these impressive accolades aside, they were able to accomplish all of this with a mere dash of Brut...The Essence of Man... across their chins... chins that I might add that they shave with chainsaws.
Oh my goodness have you heard of the Brut Brothers? I’ve heard they have managed to make a 70 year old aftershave sexy again! I’ve also heard they’re like a sexy mix between a lumber jack and Burt Reynolds when he was in his prime.
by Stuart Mcstiffenrod February 19, 2021