52 definitions by Stoney69

Pounding a hoe in the vag or even the spinky, when feeling daring enough. The male thrusts at a speed that is resembling of a jack hammer. This may cause small fissures and sometimes even full cracks in the applicable genitalia/shit-partition.
Tyrant: Dude I went trout fishing last night, caught a few. Hbu?

Big Easy: Dawg I went jack-hammering with my wife. Pounded her spinky so hard I created a crack in her ass.... now she has two asscracks.
by Stoney69 July 5, 2019
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This one is a nightmare bro, don’t want this to happen to you bruh. Anyway, this starts off by you choking your chicken until you excrete ur man juice onto a soft tissue. You then go to dispose of said rag, but you trip over a foreign object bc it is dark af and 2am. Your cum rag splashes everywhere, including on your face. What else could go wrong?? Well.. Your mom, startled, scurries into the room to check if you are okay and she too becums covered in goo. This is a cumplete nightmare.
Miguel: Hey guy, have any plans for the weekend?

Antoine: Nah man, last night was a cumplete nightmare. Think I better lay low for a couple nights.

Miguel: What happened?

Antoine: I’d rather not say. I’m still tryna clean up the damage...
by Stoney69 February 28, 2020
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This steamy act unfolds with a man blowing his boogies all over his hoe’s face. If he wants to get extra kinky, the slore will open her mouth and suck up all the boogies while he shoots them out of his nose, similar to a vacuum cleaner sucking up dust.
Stonyus Maximus (SM): Yo brotein Shake, merry Clitmas. How was your ho-ho-holiday?

Big Beefy Queefy (BBQ): Sup asshole, my Clitmas was good. Popped this chick’s cherry and dropped a chocolate rain on her afterwards. Hbu?

SM: Mine was solid. I hit this skank with a pile of Boogkake. Throttled that shit down her throat faster than Kim John Ewn fires his rockets into the sky.

BBQ: You sir are a bonerfide badass. Invite me next time and we can be Boogskimo Bros.
by Stoney69 December 27, 2022
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When you have such copious amounts of pubic hair, that you have to reach around your bush to pull your monkey, causing an inconvenient delay.
Big Easy: Yo bro, my wife won’t let me smash so I’ve had to tug on my rope lately. It’s also no shave November, so I’ve had to beat around the bush.

Tyrant: When you say beating around the bush, you mean like delaying the shaving of your man shrubs?

Big Easy: No I literally have to beat around my bush. I got more hair down there than Rapunzel.

Tyrant: Sounds like a hairy situation.
by Stoney69 November 30, 2019
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Step 1: Get a slutty chick, 2 horny bros and a jet ski.

Step 2: Position the hoe in between the 2 dudes and start the engine.

Step 3: The gutter slut proceeds to pump both dudes off as they glide across the moist bay.
Tyrunt: Yo bro tryna go jet skiing this summer?

Big Queasy: Nah that’s for geeks. I only go jitt-skiing with my boy and his tranny girl. It’s a hell of a time and we drink Coronas after.

Tyrunt: You’re my bedtime hero.
by Stoney69 April 3, 2020
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This is similar to the move in the Mario Brother’s games and can be preformed by either a woman or a man. If a woman is performing, she jumps from a perched location and tries to land her cooch right on the man’s wang. If the man is performing, he attempts to achieve a hole in one in the woman’s snatch. Failure to penetrate = unimaginable pain and possibly an ER visit.
Tyrant: Yo big easy, why didn’t you come golfing yesterday?

Big Easy: Dawg, my dick is broken. I attempted a Ground Pound on my wife, and I totally missed. My dick ran right into the ground, and now it’s more purple than a rotten eggplant.

Tyrant: Just rub some neosporin on it and you should be fine.
by Stoney69 June 28, 2019
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This one can be very tricky, so fasten your sleigh belts. Step 1: Dress up like Santa clause. Step 2: Fit your way down someone’s chimney. Step 3: This involves some luck. The hope is that you landed in a house with a hot hoe hoe hoe and a sleeping husband. The hoe has had too much to drink so she wonders her way downstairs when she hears a loud bang. Thinking you are her husband, she de-clothes herself and sneaks up on you. Step 4: Proceed to pound the hoe hoe’s fruit cake until it has enough whipped topping. Step 5: Flick her bean, and yell “Merry Clitmas”. Step 6: Get the hell outta there. Her husband has probably awoken by now and is sprinting down the steps with his shotgun ready to blow your meat missile off to Jupiter... **kinky**
Tyrant: Bro how was your Christmas?

Big Easy: It was pretty eventful. I sharted multiple times and had a five dollar footlong for breakfast. Hbu?

Tyrant: Boy I’ll tell ya I had an amazing Christmas! Almost didn’t make it out alive. Long story short, I went to some hoe’s house and popped her cherry. Then I yelled Merry Clitmas and booked it outta there. I think her dad was coming to teach me a lesson. Turns out he was a cop, so good thing I high tailed it outta there.

Big Easy: Damn I wish I was as cool as you.
by Stoney69 December 25, 2019
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