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3 definitions by Spanked as a Child

 
1.
Sex recieved so rarely that it is potentially offered on the major National Holidays... New Years, Memorial Day, Independence day, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas. It is not required that sex be offered on every national holiday, but can not be offered more frequently. Bithday sex and Anniversary sex can be included as well while still adhering to the term.
Roger: What did you do for Christmas

Dave: I drank beer while Karen wrapped the kids presents... then I got National Holiday sex.
by Spanked as a Child March 13, 2013
 
2.
A two step process of fucking a wife, girlfriend, or (b)ride in order to ejaculate a load. After which, while the receptacle is cleaning up quietly leaving without notice.

Also Known as Cum and Go.
Where's Ron?

He'll meet us at the bar. He's gotta stop by his bitch's pad for a quick spurt and split.
by Spanked as a Child March 22, 2013
 
3.
(b)ride or b-ride refers to the current spouse or partner that isnt what you deserve to be with, but for which you either settled for or were roped into due to fate, defective condoms, or other flukes of nature. Although derogatory, it is pronounced as bride, which is falsely assumed by the object to be a term of endearment.

(b)ride can also mean (bitch) ride who provides regular sexual pleasure, otherwise is not remotely fun or interesting to be around.
Roger: What did you do over the weekend.

Daryle: Nothing... my (b)ride had her parents over so I got roped into playing Yahtzee and Parcheesi

Roger: Lame Dude.

Jen: Honey, would you go to the store and get some milk? I forgot to get it when I went earlier.

Daryle: I guess so.... is there anything else you forgot, my (b)ride? Maybe some Tampons?
by Spanked as a Child March 13, 2013