Speed Racer Yard Sale

When your wife is shitfaced and you want some trim, so as soon as you get in the house you race upstairs in order to get some before she passes out. With boots, jeans and undies flying all over you lay into it before she goes catatonic.

Trudie and I were out drinking last night and she got so shitfaced I had to pull the Speed Racer Yard Sale before she passed out. She didn't remember it the next morning and wondered why our room looked like a skiing accident.

by Scotty Nice December 11, 2019

Ecuadorian Pat Smear

When a chubby Ecuadorian convinces a questionable lady he is a doctor, then brings her back to his penthouse and performs an extremely short (literally) procedure on her lady parts. After the embarrassingly short act, he tells her she’s all clear and sends her on her way.

Oh man, don’t tell me you pulled the Ecuadorian Pat Smear ruse again. I hope you told her she had a clean bill of health before the “exam” , because she won’t after.

by Scotty Nice May 18, 2022

Sexy slide

When you first slide your meat stick into her honey hole after getting her all wet and ready.

We were gettin all hot and heavy and then I gave her the sexy slide and she felt my wrath.

by Scotty Nice September 05, 2019

Pearl Jammed

When you find out your friend, who loves Pearl Jam, likes when his wife jams a strand of fake pearls up his ass and yanks them out before entering him from behind with a dildo.

Last night Trudie Pearl Jammed me before hammering me with the Peony Push. It was so glorious.

by Scotty Nice February 06, 2021