How to describe Florida:
Old people driving 5mph to either Publix or Walmart, over-priced tourist attractions, a new child molester case on the news every day, snowbirds galore, a new cockroach somewhere every day as well, stupid politicians, 20 hurricanes every season, FCAT, emo/scene kids, hot weather with humidity to match.
One thing I do love about living here the last 8 years are the skies, flowers, and beaches... unless they're infested with tourists and fat hairy transvestites in speedos. Gross.
Also see Hell
Old Man visiting Florida: look at the lively youth! playing with their water guns...
Old Woman visiting Florida: LOOK, HONEY! A BINGO HALL COMBINED WITH A WALMART! *slams brakes*