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4 definitions by Roofus Wainwright

 
1.
As with the normal dutch oven, the man parps under the covers and submits his woman to a world of fetid bum-stench. However, in an act of cunning revenge, the woman waits a while for the smell to dissipate, and then convinces the man to perform oral sex on her. When the man eventually concedes, and begins to chew away on her fanny flaps, she lets out a vile queef right in his eye that renders him temporarily unconscious.
Michael Douglas's lawyer looked a bit confused when he was asked to write 'No Dutch Oven Trumping' into the pre-nuptial agreement, but Michael swore that if Catherine ever pulled that shit on him agree he'd kick her ass back to Wales.
by Roofus Wainwright May 26, 2007
 
2.
The concept of Jizzy-Shit Paint first appeared in a UN directive, aimed at providing an affordable and renewable source of paint for poorer nations. Scientists believed that a combination of whale semen and horse shit could be used to paint the walls of peoples homes at minimal cost. Plans were to create factories where the jizz and shit would be sucked out of the animals involved and emptied into large vats. However, when Kofi Annan got wind of the idea, he reportedly addressed the individuals involved with the line: "Damn, you motherfuckers are crazy, who's gonna want a house that smells of Whale Queef?!!"
I really question Bobby's interior design techniques...I mean, I'm all for minimalism, but his choice of Jizzy-Shit Paint gives the room an oppressive stench.
by Roofus Wainwright May 26, 2007
 
3.
The latest in extreme sports, chavalingus involves seeking a chavette in order to muff dive on her, fully in the knowledge that you will catch multiple STI's.
"Jimmy, what the fuck is that on your lip?!"

"You wouldn't believe it, Pete and I were having some chavalingus with the local scum last night; I ended up with herpes and he ended up with gonorrhoea in his eye"
by Roofus Wainwright May 26, 2007
 
4.
A military term for home-brew piss. Many Royal Marines are instructed to take a sip of their swampjuice in the mornings in order to determine their waterlevels.
"James ate a shitload of asparagus last night and his swampjuice went toxic. When he treated the lads to a little taste-test this morning, four of them ended up in sick bay."
by Roofus Wainwright May 26, 2007