Definitions by Rodney Basil

Albatross 

Three strokes under par in one golf hole.

You cannot get an albatross on a par-3 hole.

Albatross by Rodney Basil August 28, 2004

Abstract Art 

Art with no defined meaning. Its purpose is to let the viewer interpret its meaning for him/herself. More often than not, abstract art is a collection of meaningless shapes and colors thrown onto a canvas. The intellectual art community, however, looks at this and calls the author a genius, promptly shelling out tons of money to buy a mess that could have been accidentally created by a two year old.

If you can't draw or paint but still want to earn millions of dollars as an artist, don't worry: Abstract art is for you!

Abstract Art by Rodney Basil August 21, 2004

Teenagers 

Human beings who are unsure whether they are adolescents or adults.

Teenagers annoy me despite the fact that I am one.

Teenagers by Rodney Basil August 19, 2004

Retiree

One who is retired. More often than not, a retiree is older than 70.

Retirees live at home until they have to live in a nursing home.

Retiree by Rodney Basil July 28, 2004

Jealousity 

This is, of course, not a real word. The real word is envy.

I said "Jealousity" one too many times in English class and was booted from said class for a week.

Jealousity by Rodney Basil July 27, 2004

Ah, Cripes 

Like crap, darn, and doh!, this is a statement of frustration. This is usually said, however, when a plot is foiled or one is nailed by a good prank or practical joke.

Martin: Mr. Pendor, we have done a background check and have discovered that you have been cheating on your taxes since Roosevelt was President.

Chester: Which one? Teddy or Frank?

Martin: Frank.

Chester: Which term? He had four, you know.

Martin: It doesn't matter! What does matter is that you're under arrest!

Chester: Do you have proof?

Martin: It's all at the station. Why don't you slip into these handcuffs, junior, and we'll let Detective Charles take care of you!

Chester: Ah, cripes...

Ah, Cripes by Rodney Basil July 27, 2004

Baddest 

Toughest, coolest.

Always used complimentary, unless used by someone who has poor grammar and does not know that the superlative form of "bad" is "worst".

Ironically, "baddest" and "worst" are complete opposites, despite the fact that at first glance, they appear to be synonyms.

Don't mess with Harold, he's the baddest one here!

Baddest by Rodney Basil July 10, 2004