56 definitions by Robert Lanham, Author of Food Court Druids, Cherohonkees, and Other Creatures Unique to the Republic
Laymen paparazzi who commonly spot people who look "just like" celebrities at the mall, church, and Applebee's.
Page Eighty-Sixers point to random people they encounter in public and say, "Doesn't that person look just like Colin Farrell?"
Intelligent but socially inept employees who lack the motivation to look for another job in this lifetime
The Lifer is often an unambitious lower-level employee who has been with the company since the dawn of Man.
Barbies often prefer city life, given the lack of understanding and sensitivity they find in rural communities.
Backstabbing employees whose inflated ambitions and obsessions with work cause people not to like them and sabotages their chances for advancement
Alpha Weasels are often too consumed by their ambitions to have a life beyond the walls of the office.
Some Blurts shout out, "Look, she's having a baby," when encountering someone with a weight problem.
Intelligent underachievers who feel their work environments are suppressive and prevent them from realizing their full creative potential.
Family members with shifty eyes and overly friendly hugs who discover their affectionate side when their cousins and nieces buy their first training bra.
Whereas flirtatious grandpas are usually written off as being harmless, Twister Uncles sometimes require a tongue-lashing from Cousin Willy.