3 definitions by Random Claus
Clausania is a very random country. Claus-The-Man-Of-God is the king. He has a family (surprising, considering his looks *yikes*). There is the queen (aka slave), she is Claus's sister. There is also Clauses slave - wife. The Clausishian people's favourite holiday is Christmas, because that is when Claus is going to die in 3753832 years (it's a very random holiday). All three of them are very poor, that is why they live under the bridge : they own all of the Clausishian bridges. They have 3 children : Clausisha, Clausiush and Claush. Their loyal pet is ~Clausishia the Swiss Goat. This is the most random country in the Milky Way and it is very hard to become a citizen of Clausania.
by Random Claus June 5, 2020
A Clauser is a person who believes in the power of Claus-The-Man-Of-God. Most of the Clausers live in Clausania, the land of extreme randomness. To become a Clauser, you have to first become a citizen of Clausania, which is extremely hard. Once you become a citizen, you have to spend 1 year living under the Clausanian bridges. Next, you have to pass a lot of Buzzfeed quizzes about random knowledge. Next, you have to be shot by Claus. If you survive, then there is a possibility of you becoming a Clauser. If you are a Clauser, your monthly salary is going to increase by 90% in Clausania.
by Random Claus May 24, 2020
Where do I even start on this one.... Claus is DA FLIPPING MAN OF GOD. He is also the most random person that exists nowadays. Here is how it all began: Claus decided to leave his non-random followers, and here is how it went:
Follower #1: Where is Claus?
Follower #2: He is flying into outer space.
Follower #1: WHAT? He bought a rocket?
Follower #2: No, he's been building one.
(I love you if you get the reference)
And that is how how Claus took his two wives, his children and his goat Clausishia and flew away. After countless nights he reached a very random looking planet in the Milky Way. The Clasanian family landed there and realised that it was a very random country with very random people living there. Since Claus is basically a millionaire, he built somewhere around 400000 bridges there so that everyone would have a place to stay. He sold his rocket and bought a bunch of cardboard boxes for his family. That very same day, the Clausanian family got robbed and were left with nothing. And that is how they ended up living under the Clausanian bridges. However, the people found Claus attractive, and made him their CEO. Claus named the planet after him, and it became the Random Land Of Clausania. And that is how Claus became CLAUS-THE-RANDOM-MAN-OF-GOD.
Follower #1: Where is Claus?
Follower #2: He is flying into outer space.
Follower #1: WHAT? He bought a rocket?
Follower #2: No, he's been building one.
(I love you if you get the reference)
And that is how how Claus took his two wives, his children and his goat Clausishia and flew away. After countless nights he reached a very random looking planet in the Milky Way. The Clasanian family landed there and realised that it was a very random country with very random people living there. Since Claus is basically a millionaire, he built somewhere around 400000 bridges there so that everyone would have a place to stay. He sold his rocket and bought a bunch of cardboard boxes for his family. That very same day, the Clausanian family got robbed and were left with nothing. And that is how they ended up living under the Clausanian bridges. However, the people found Claus attractive, and made him their CEO. Claus named the planet after him, and it became the Random Land Of Clausania. And that is how Claus became CLAUS-THE-RANDOM-MAN-OF-GOD.
Clauser #1: Do you believe in the power of Claus?
Clauser #2: Of course, I mean he is the absolute man of God!
Clauser #2: Of course, I mean he is the absolute man of God!
by Random Claus May 28, 2020