Quan Cao Tien's definitions
I WLTM if teh following MARRIAGE TERMS AND CONDITIONS are met:
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
by quan cao tien August 9, 2010
Get the WLTMmug. by quan cao tien August 26, 2010
Get the Cark (it)mug. Being Vietnamese is about riding in a Chinese motorbike to an local pub for a Lao beer, then travelling home, grabbing Cambodian common rat dishes on the way, phoning friends by a Finnish mobile phone, sitting on Italian furniture and watching Korean films on a Japanese TV every night as well.
*Vietnamese: I like these kinds of food such as squared sticky rice cakes, Pho, caramelised fish in claypot (ca kho to), Bun oc, Hu tieu, to name but a few.
*Korean: What about Lao beer? D'you like watching Korean films?
*Vietnamse: I do absolutely!
*Korean: You must be Vietnamese fo sho, man!
*Korean: What about Lao beer? D'you like watching Korean films?
*Vietnamse: I do absolutely!
*Korean: You must be Vietnamese fo sho, man!
by quan cao tien August 12, 2010
Get the Vietnamsemug. Hanoi or Ha Noi
Hanoi has been inhabited since at least 3000 BC. One of the first known permanent settlements is the “Co Loa Citadel” founded around 200 BC. Hanoi has many names such as “Thang Long”, “Dong Do”, “Dong Quan”, “Bac Thanh”, to name but a few. Now, Hanoi is the capital of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam (SRV) and Hanoi is a second to non melting pot in terms of education, science, culture and landscape of Vietnam. It is known dat Hanoi is very famous for its awesome and skilful handicraft products like silverware which is made in former Ngu Xa village, pottery in Bat Trang village, and the streets’ names were associated with those guilds made those products. Hanoi is very famous for Pho (a kind of traditional food), “Cha Ca” which is made in La Vong village, “Banh Cuon” which is made in Thanh Tri and “Com” (or “green sticky rice” which is wrapped in Lotus leaf) made in Vong village. Also, you can also eat snake dishes in Le Mat village. Hanoian accent is the standard one of Vietnam. Also, Hanoi is a city for Peace.
Hanoi has been inhabited since at least 3000 BC. One of the first known permanent settlements is the “Co Loa Citadel” founded around 200 BC. Hanoi has many names such as “Thang Long”, “Dong Do”, “Dong Quan”, “Bac Thanh”, to name but a few. Now, Hanoi is the capital of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam (SRV) and Hanoi is a second to non melting pot in terms of education, science, culture and landscape of Vietnam. It is known dat Hanoi is very famous for its awesome and skilful handicraft products like silverware which is made in former Ngu Xa village, pottery in Bat Trang village, and the streets’ names were associated with those guilds made those products. Hanoi is very famous for Pho (a kind of traditional food), “Cha Ca” which is made in La Vong village, “Banh Cuon” which is made in Thanh Tri and “Com” (or “green sticky rice” which is wrapped in Lotus leaf) made in Vong village. Also, you can also eat snake dishes in Le Mat village. Hanoian accent is the standard one of Vietnam. Also, Hanoi is a city for Peace.
I was walking around the center of Hanoi heading towards the Old Quarter of town when I came across three Vietnamese ladies selling all sorts of local fruits. The funny thing was that they were seated almost in the middle of the road where motorbikes were seen moving from all directions passing.
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010
Get the Hanoimug. Dude 1: When working at that new institution, you should equip yourself with a car, a business suit, a gold wrist watch to make you much more attractive to new chicks there, man.
Dude 2: Do I need a dog and bone?
Dude 1: Absolutely, you need it to tell your top dog you are working while you are in the caff with pals during the office hours!
Dude 2: Do I need a dog and bone?
Dude 1: Absolutely, you need it to tell your top dog you are working while you are in the caff with pals during the office hours!
by quan cao tien August 26, 2010
Get the caffmug. Can't Eat Out.
Can't Even Operate.
Career Ending Opportunity.
Caribbean Elephants Organization.
Catch Every Obstacle.
Catholic Education Office.
Caustic Ego Online.
Central Economics Office.
Central Elite Operations.
Ceremonial Events Officer.
Certified Egoistic Organizer.
Championship Event Organizer.
Cheap Entertaining Opponent.
Cheese Eating Official.
Chief Eating Officer.
Chief Elf of Operations.
Chief Embezzling Offender.
Chief Emotional Officer.
Chief Ethics Officer.
Chief Evangelist Officer.
Chief Evangelistic Officer.
Chief Excessive Officer
Chief Execution Order.
Chief Executioner Omnipotent.
Chief Executive Officer.
Chiropractic Elite Organization.
Christmas and Easter Only.
Citrus Entity Overlord.
Clown Executive Officer.
Cock Eyed Optimist.
Collegiate Entrepreneurs' Organization.
Company Entertainer Octopus.
Competitive Edge Opportunities.
Comprehensive Electronic Office.
Computer Energy Organizer.
Conscientiously Energetic Overacting.
Constantly Evaluating Others.
Controlling Every Objective.
Cool English Only.
Corporate Europe Observatory.
Corrupt Executive Officer.
Costs Evened Out.
Covert Elite Operations.
Cranky Eccentric Oldster.
Cranky Evil Ogre.
Creating Excellent Organizations.
Creating Exceptional Opportunities.
Creating Extraordinary Outcomes.
Customer Employee Organization.
Cutting Everything Out.
Can't Even Operate.
Career Ending Opportunity.
Caribbean Elephants Organization.
Catch Every Obstacle.
Catholic Education Office.
Caustic Ego Online.
Central Economics Office.
Central Elite Operations.
Ceremonial Events Officer.
Certified Egoistic Organizer.
Championship Event Organizer.
Cheap Entertaining Opponent.
Cheese Eating Official.
Chief Eating Officer.
Chief Elf of Operations.
Chief Embezzling Offender.
Chief Emotional Officer.
Chief Ethics Officer.
Chief Evangelist Officer.
Chief Evangelistic Officer.
Chief Excessive Officer
Chief Execution Order.
Chief Executioner Omnipotent.
Chief Executive Officer.
Chiropractic Elite Organization.
Christmas and Easter Only.
Citrus Entity Overlord.
Clown Executive Officer.
Cock Eyed Optimist.
Collegiate Entrepreneurs' Organization.
Company Entertainer Octopus.
Competitive Edge Opportunities.
Comprehensive Electronic Office.
Computer Energy Organizer.
Conscientiously Energetic Overacting.
Constantly Evaluating Others.
Controlling Every Objective.
Cool English Only.
Corporate Europe Observatory.
Corrupt Executive Officer.
Costs Evened Out.
Covert Elite Operations.
Cranky Eccentric Oldster.
Cranky Evil Ogre.
Creating Excellent Organizations.
Creating Exceptional Opportunities.
Creating Extraordinary Outcomes.
Customer Employee Organization.
Cutting Everything Out.
A CEO (and member of Forbes 400!) throwing a party takes his executives on a tour of his opulent mansion. In the back of the property, the CEO has the largest swimming pool any of them has ever seen. The huge pool, however, is filled with hungry alligators. The CEO says to his executives “I think an executive should be measured by courage. Courage is what made me CEO. So this is my challenge to each of you: if anyone has enough courage to dive into the pool, swim through those alligators, and make it to the other side, I will give that person anything they desire. My job, my money, my house, anything!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.”
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!”
Everyone laughs at the outrageous offer and proceeds to follow the CEO on the tour of the estate. Suddenly, they hear a loud splash. Everyone turns around and sees the CFO (Chief Financial Officer) in the pool, swimming for his life. He dodges the alligators left and right and makes it to the edge of the pool with seconds to spare. He pulls himself out just as a huge alligator snaps at his shoes. The flabbergasted CEO approaches the CFO and says, “You are amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. You are brave beyond measure and anything I own is yours. Tell me what I can do for you.”
The CFO, panting for breath, looks up and says, “You can tell me who the hell pushed me in the pool!!”
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the CEOmug. The Cuckoo Clock
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010
Get the down itmug.