Being Vietnamese is about riding in a Chinese motorbike to an local pub for a Lao beer, then travelling home, grabbing Cambodian common rat dishes on the way, phoning friends by a Finnish mobile phone, sitting on Italian furniture and watching Korean films on a Japanese TV every night as well.
*Vietnamese: I like these kinds of food such as squared sticky rice cakes, Pho, caramelised fish in claypot (ca kho to), Bun oc, Hu tieu, to name but a few.
*Korean: What about Lao beer? D'you like watching Korean films?
*Vietnamse: I do absolutely!
*Korean: You must be Vietnamese fo sho, man!
I WLTM if teh following MARRIAGE TERMS AND CONDITIONS are met:
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
Nghe An is a province in North Central Vietnam. It is the hometown of Ho Chi Minh, the former president of Vietnam as well as the cradle of nearly every talent in Vietnam. Nghe An people have won kudos for their intelligence, diligence, eagerness to study and their hospitality, cultural traditional imbued with national identity. Nghe An is fast changing with every passing days. Also, Nghe An is famous for its traditional folk songs which belong to a genre of traditional art, Vi Dam, and tobacco as well.
1. I have known many persons who turned their gold into smoke, but in Nghe An, people are the first to turn smoke into gold.
2. A blonde, a brunette and a red head were smoking cigarettes one afternoon. The blonde had Camels, red head had Marlboros, and the brunette had Nghe An rustic tobacco.
It began to pour down raining, so the red head and brunette both pull out a nodder and put it on their cigs. The blonde says "what are you doing?" - and they say "we're saving it for later!"
Impressed, and in a hurry, the blonde goes to the nearest store and asks for a nodder. The clerk says "What size? small, medium, or large?" She said "I dont know... one to fit a camel?"