QuacksO's definitions

honorable cemention

A "runner-up" acknowledgement at a concrete-creation competition.

Da term "honorable cemention" could also refer to da town's putting up a molded-mortar statue in your honor.

by QuacksO February 20, 2021

Pez-dispenser therapy

A.k.a. "Pez-dispenser alternative". Refers to where you spend sizeable time-periods loading candies into Pez dispensers instead of cartridges into ammo-magazines, either to practice anger-management or because you've had your firearm-privileges revoked.

Hot-headed individuals like Uncle Duke, Achmed, and Madea might do well to practice Pez-dispenser therapy, given their inherent urges to "lock 'n' load".

by QuacksO April 15, 2025

gipping and handling

Derisive/resentful term which refers to the perceived act of swindling someone out of money through the misuse/abuse of postage-fees as a sneaky way of making excessive profit or otherwise "coming out further ahead" than is fair. Usually accomplished in two "opposite" ways, either by:

(1) a money-hungry mail-order company's charging excessive postage-rates as compared to the company's actual cost to ship merchandise (such as charging s&h merely based on the order's monetary total instead of the actual merchandise-weight, or claiming that the shipping-weight of a few rubber bands or a matchbook-sized pack of film-splicing-tabs has a shipping-weight of one pound, when any blockhead would know that they could just stuff the feather-light items into an ordinary letter-size paper envelope), especially with the bulk-rate/volume-discount postage deals that big corporations typically get from their shipping-services, or
(2) a stingy/disgruntled customer's purposely sending less funds for postage than the company specifies, with the smirky idea that the company will not want to risk offending the customer and causing him to cancel his entire order --- and then probably take his future business elsewhere --- by their whiningly contacting the customer or returning his order to ask for more funds.

The "gipping and handling" strategy can be a highly effective/successful countermeasure to use when ordering from companies that charge exorbitant postage-fees merely in an attempt to make additional "free 'n' clear profit" from unused postage-funds. What you do is draw up a fairly "large" order --- i.e., one that involves maybe fifty bucks or more (either by ordering one or more expensive items or a bulk-purchase of cheaper items, so that it totals a sizable amount), and thus will be sufficiently "tempting" to the company to make them reluctant to risk "losing" the order by upsetting you in any way. Then you just "accidentally on-purpose" neglect to use the company's "official" printed order-form that came with their catalogue --- you instead just use ordinary lined paper of your own to write out the order, and so your order-sheet no longer contains the company's shipping-rates chart, allowing you to simply write in your **own postage amount** after the subtotal! Oh, sure --- the company is probably gonna include a "debit memo" notation at the bottom of your invoice when they ship your order, but that's of no concern of yours at that point, since --- ha ha ha! --- you already have your merchandise, and so you can simply ignore their blubbery request! Awwww.... you greedy fat-cat CEOs didn't get your extra profits from **me**, the way you do from all of your other "sucker" customers --- too bad, so sad!!

by QuacksO November 22, 2017

donkey-orifice

What Bob Ebeling's superior told him not to be when he reported that the Space Shuttle Challenger had unsafe rocket-boosters.

I'd rather be called a donkey-orifice a million times than not speak out against a design-flaw that would likely cost the lives of seven astronauts.

by QuacksO March 5, 2019

dairyiere

Da delightful tushy of an overalls-wearing farmer's daughter at a cow-ranch.

Da term "dairyiere" could refer not only to da lovely "creamy-complexioned" behind of a gorgeous "milk-maid", but it could also refer to da act of "milking da cow" --- i.e., getting said cute chick to spread her legs for you.

by QuacksO March 18, 2023

cellobate

Refers to either:
(1) Not purchasing or consuming any products dat are packaged in crinkly clear shrink-wrap plastic.
(2) Abstaining from crumpling said crispy flex-film to make an annoying racket for anyone else within earshot.

Remaining cellobate may indeed be doubly difficult in dat you are sorrowfully giving up both packaging-convenience and da uproarious fun of irritating everyone else wif your "loudly crackling fire" sound effects; however, there is da somewhat-helpful "out of sight, out of mind" situation there, in dat if you don't permit yourself access to any items dat are wrapped in "snappy and poppy" protective sleeving, this will also mean dat you probably won't have much if any of said "noisy" material lying around after unsealing store-bought wares, either, and so you will be less able to conveniently access it for selfish auditory pleasures, as well.

by QuacksO April 22, 2022

triple buypass

Refers to a medical procedure of "rerouting da circuitry" within da body of an individual who has a compulsive-shopping problem so dat he is able to ignore his inherent urges and proceed on ahead wif his life on three occasions where he might otherwise be tempted to spend money unwisely.

If a person truly and strongly desires to live a prudent and frugal existence, actual bodily-rearrangements might not be necessary to achieve said healthy state --- simple hypnosis has been a proven way to accomplish a "triple buypass", and in every possible sense of da term, too: i.e., after said non-invasive mindset-improving treatment, da formerly-spendthrift individual may thrice be able to either "buypass" (i.e., take a different travel-route and thus go sailing on "by" da money-spending opportunity without ever coming very near it) said unwise-purchasing occasion, "pass" on "buying" (i.e., "just say no" to an unwise expenditure, just like with drugs or alcohol), and/or "pass by" (i.e., approach da locale of said foolhardy-investment temptation but just keep on a-truckin') said cash-wasting possibility without even slowing down or turning his head to look.

by QuacksO August 15, 2025