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Pollup's definitions

mumps

When your testicles get inflamed and cause sterility.
Man, that guy has the mumps!

What?! Man, his testicles must be harshly sterile and inflamed.

Yeah. Nasty.
by Pollup December 29, 2007
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ghetto pirate ship

A metaphorical reference to the entire workings of a gang. As gangs are generally groups of people involved in illegal activities designed to procure money and power, the term "ghetto pirate ship" refers to the entirety of the gang.

The term is often used by gang leaders who want to appear to be intelligent and have a grasp of literature or the outside world. By using the term, gang leaders inspire their "less worldly" troops by inciting imagery of swashbuckling bandits who scour the high seas for gold.

Due to the high level of violence and lack of dental care in the ghetto, many gang members wear eye patches and have gold teeth, which makes them similar to pirates in many ways.
Enter Mambo (leader of the gang):

-Mambo appears before a group of gang members who are paying their final respects to their homie, Cheeto, who got fucked up by a crackhead robbing the liquor store-

I have gathered you all here today on this motherfucking somber occasion to pour a forty on the curb for our brothah in arms, Cheeto.

Everyone raise yo' forty. To Cheeto! He lived as he died - a member of our motherfucking ghetto pirate ship.

(cheers arise, the smell of fried chicken fills the air)

Now, let's lay this motherfucker to rest and have some BBQ. And Tre, keep yo' motherfucking filthy hands out of Cheeto's mouth. Those gold fillings are mine. You hear me, motherfucker?
by pollup January 11, 2008
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turban dictionary

What it will be called after Urban Dictionary is taken over by Sikh Terrorists.
I submitted an entry to turban dictionary and those assholes didn't accept it. Probably because it wasn't about turbans. Assholes.
by Pollup January 4, 2008
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Unwrap the soap

Hey Gordon (from Sesame Street),

Can I unwrap the soap in the shower with you?
by Pollup December 25, 2007
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Suicide Shitter

When a terrorist is about to set off a suicide bomb in the middle of a Middle Eastern market and shits himself before he can set off the bomb. Generally, the poo flies all over the place and ruins all the food in the market.
Akmed: sup Mohammed? Wow, this market is really packed, eh? Check out Abdul with his big, fancy chicken stand over there. Oh, look at me; I'm Abdul and I think I'm so important with my magical chicken stand. I provide protein for people and think I'm the hottest shit in town.

Mohammed: Ha ha. So true, so true. And what's with the ridiculous hat? Like, is the guy too cool to wear a turban? He thinks he's so Western with his flashy ball cap...it says "New York Mets" on it. What the fuck is that?

Akmed: I KNOW! Have you ever seen his wife? She doesn't even wear a Burka - like HELLO? Um...I wonder if she's going to hell.

Mohammed: Maybe she's a New York Met. Maybe that's what the hat means. Like, yeah...I'm Kuljeet and I'm Abdul's wife and I want to be New York Met - I'm so cool. Or maybe it means that she is not a virgin? Who knows. They are freaking weird.

Akmed: oh,oh -watch! He's killing the chicken. JUST DO IT ALREADY! Oh shit, do you think he heard me? Ha ha...duck! Ok, he didn't see us. I hate that about him. He always has to toss the chicken up in the air and then cut it's head off with -

************BOOM************!

Akmed: What happened?

Mohammed: Run! Suicide bomber!!!!!!!!!!!

Akmed: No, wait - what is that all over...?

Mohammed: Sick. Dude. There's shit everywhere. Must've been one of those suicide shitters. That is nasty.

Akmed: Yeah, like seriously. Hold it together for just another second, man. I hate those guys that are all scared and crap there pants right before. So lame.

Mohammed: I know. Ha ha - look! Abdul's stand has shit all over it. YEAH BITCH! Try and sell those chickens now, motherfucker! What a loser.

Akmed: Let's go take a shower.

Mohammed: uh...
by Pollup January 31, 2008
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chan tigah

A member of an opposing gang that has killed one of your homies in the past. Although your first instinct is to exact revenge on that motherfucker, you are aware that it may ignite another gang war. Gang wars, although hilarious and fun, are not desired by the warlords in the ghetto because they attract attention to the underworld from Whitey and/or "The Man." Quite often, you are a Chan Tigah to someone else because you gunned down his cousin at the taco stand. The huge number of Chan Tigahs in the Ghetto is what sociologists refer to as "Street Brinkmanship," meaning, since everyone has Chan Tigah status, no one can kill anyone for fear of starting a huge gang war.

A Chan Tigah is a politically complex term for an enemy that you want to kill but can't.
I wanted to kill that motherfucker chan tigah last night in the back alley, but "Five Tooth Tre Dog" told me to wait until the heat was off.
by pollup January 11, 2008
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Burlap Sack Condom

When you wanna bang some slut and can't find a condom. So you run up the stairs to the living room and ask your grandma to knit you some protection. She doesn't know what the hell you're talking about, so you run out to the garage and dump all the potatoes out of the burlap sack that your Grandpa keeps out there.

You grab some scissors and cut out a funnel-shaped piece and rush back down to the basement where the slut is already waiting for you.

You wrap the Burlap Sack piece around your Johnson and start moving towards her.

She freaks out and wakes up your whole household. The next weekend you're moving into your own apartment and figuring out how to get a job.
Conversation Held in the basement:

You: "Alright baby, I got a condom. Let's get busy!"
Her: "Lando, how about little fucking romance you piece of shit? Ain't you never been laid before?
You: "Yeah, but you're really hot and...
Her: "Wait wait wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
You: "Nothing. Alright, you want some roman-"
Her: "Seriously, what the fuck is that thing? Let's see that shit. What the fuck? What is that wrapped around your dick?
You: "Nothing."
Her: "Bullshit."
You: "ok, it's a condom."
Her: "It is not, what is it?"
You: "Fine, it's a piece of burlap sack condom - listen, it's the best I could-
Her: "You crazy nigger. Do you really think that you're gonna stick that fucking potatoey-smelling, nigga-brand nappy head motha-fucking shit storm in my fucking snatch? THAT'S IT LANDO! YOU TAKE YOUR STARWARS CLOUD CITY MOTHER FUCKING SELF AND GET THE FUCK OFF ME. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Grandma: "Chile? Wha-whas go'n on down thah? Is you trying to fuck one of them sluts down there again? Charlie? Get yo' good fo' nothing self down heah' and see what yo' lazy-assed grandson is trying to do to the ho down in our house"
Grandpa: "That's it, Lando. I've had enough of this. First you're running around snortin' cocaine and hittin the neighbours with lightsabers, and now this. OUt with ya. I want you out by morning!"
by Pollup January 18, 2008
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