Peter Kobs's definitions

Spillonomics

1. A scientific way to calculate the true costs of massive oil spills, such as the BP Deepwater Horizon disaster in the Gulf of Mexico.

Spillonomics was conceived shortly after the 1989 Exxon Valdez spill in Prince William Sound, Alaska. Sadly, it has become a major growth industry in the last 21 years.

Unlike other methods favored by the petroleum industry, Spillonomics takes into account both short-term clean-up costs AND long-term costs related to marine ecosystems, tourism, fishing, coastal employment, real estate values and water quality.

2. Dick Cheney's latest nightmare.

I'm majoring in Spillonomics. My uncle at Halliburton is livid. Serves him right!

by Peter Kobs June 1, 2010

The Great Disruption

1. A frightening new historical era that began in 2008 with the crash of world economies and the simultaneous collapse of trust in governing institutions. 2. A wrenching shift in human society resulting from 50 years of unsustainable development, over-population, environmental degredation, economic injustice and rapid resource depletion. 3. The growing realization that sophisticated "financial engineering" cannot solve the growing list of real-world problems.

The Great Disruption could be the biggest challenge in human history since the collapse of the Roman Empire in 466 A.D.

by Peter Kobs March 9, 2009

Certainty Pimp

Someone who sells "certainty" on a particular issue to gain money or power -- usually a politician, pundit or preacher. Certainty Pimps don't like shades of gray because they force people to think for themselves.

Did you see that Certainty Pimp on TV? He says the recent cold snap is proof that global warming is a complete hoax.

by Peter Kobs January 17, 2009

Fear Profiteer

1. Someone who stands to gain power, influence or funding by spreading fear in the general population. 2. A sophisticated type of 21st century fear monger who uses PR methods to generate panic, doubt and free-floating anxiety. 3. Dick Cheney and his ilk.

Thanks to that Fear Profiteer in Wyoming, all shampoo bottles will be banned on U.S. flights.

by Peter Kobs July 17, 2009

Aging Out

1. The inescapable "tipping point" where people lose their sex appeal, status or eligibility because of advancing age.

2. The process now affecting most Baby Boomers in the United States.

3. Why the Rolling Stones won't be touring again soon.

They won't let David play in the band anymore. He's Aging Out!

by Peter Kobs July 31, 2009

Tuition

1. An imaginary number invented by college administrators to inspire fear in middle-class parents and new students.

2. An enormous fee that automatically rises at 3 times the rate of inflation.

3. The catch-all term for huge sums of money that young pepole start paying at age 18 or 19. Payments usually continue for the next 10-20 years.

College President: "What should Tuition be next year?"

Comptroller: "Let's me see... $38,000 has a nice ring to it. Of course, we always tack on another $6,000 in fees just for fun, not to mention mandatory health insurance and thost textbooks that cost $100 a pop."

College President: "Can we make it $39,000?"

Comptroller: "Why not? Works for me!"

by Peter Kobs February 12, 2010

Palinoid

1. A version of paranoia associated with former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, who recently announced that health care reform will create "death lists" of people to be killed by the government.

2. Anyone who embraces the delusional, hate-filled ravings of Sarah Palin.

cf. Birther, John Birch Society, conspiracy cults

Marvin has become a true Palinoid. He thinks Obama is an Indonesian terrorist trying to poison us through telekinetic Swine flu contagion. I think he's been listening to Sarah Palin too much on Fox News.

by Peter Kobs August 8, 2009