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Peter Kobs's definitions

Certainty Pimp

Someone who sells "certainty" on a particular issue to gain money or power -- usually a politician, pundit or preacher. Certainty Pimps don't like shades of gray because they force people to think for themselves.
Did you see that Certainty Pimp on TV? He says the recent cold snap is proof that global warming is a complete hoax.
by Peter Kobs January 17, 2009
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The Great Disruption

1. A frightening new historical era that began in 2008 with the crash of world economies and the simultaneous collapse of trust in governing institutions. 2. A wrenching shift in human society resulting from 50 years of unsustainable development, over-population, environmental degredation, economic injustice and rapid resource depletion. 3. The growing realization that sophisticated "financial engineering" cannot solve the growing list of real-world problems.
The Great Disruption could be the biggest challenge in human history since the collapse of the Roman Empire in 466 A.D.
by Peter Kobs March 9, 2009
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Fear Profiteer

1. Someone who stands to gain power, influence or funding by spreading fear in the general population. 2. A sophisticated type of 21st century fear monger who uses PR methods to generate panic, doubt and free-floating anxiety. 3. Dick Cheney and his ilk.
Thanks to that Fear Profiteer in Wyoming, all shampoo bottles will be banned on U.S. flights.
by Peter Kobs July 17, 2009
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Gifted Child

1. An average student with insecure parents.

2. The elitist notion that only some children have "gifts" or talents worthy of attention.

3. A hollow form of "self-praise by proxy" that snobby parents use to bolster their social standing.
Our son Timmy is a Gifted Child. He should be in a special school to nurture his extraordinary talents - at taxpayer expense. Did I tell you that I drive a BMW?
by Peter Kobs December 10, 2009
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Dunk Flunk

1. What happens when an over-confident basketball player tries to make a spectacular flying "dunk" but fails to score.

2. The kind of show-boating that enrages college coaches.

3. An embarrassing act of athletic incompetence.
Coach: "We would'a won that game if Hakeem hadn't tried that ridiculous dunk flunk in the second period. Arrrggghhh!"

Athletic Director: "I think I'm going to be sick now."
by Peter Kobs March 26, 2010
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Completely Unfounded

1. A legal term that means: "We did it, but you can't prove it. And even if you CAN prove it, we'll drag out the litigation until your great-grandchildren are dead."

Corporate attorneys frequently use this phrase to defend their clients against civil lawsuits. And they get $500 a hour for this nonsense?

2. A kneejerk reaction to any accusation of white collar crime.
The attorney for Goldman Sachs said the government's fraud charges were "Completely Unfounded." After the press conference, he laughed all the way to the bank.
by Peter Kobs April 17, 2010
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Twitter Critter

1. A person who spends WAY too much time on Twitter, to the detriment of his or her job, family, friends and/or mental health.
2. A cell-phone Twitter texting maniac.
3. Someone who believes they are the center of the universe, despite abundant evidence to the contrary.
Tim has become a Twitter Critter. He can't keep anything private anymore. I wish he'd get a life!
by Peter Kobs August 5, 2009
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