65 definitions by Pantaloon

1)An organization that attempts to use creativity and higher levels of cognition to help to make the world a better place.
2)A place where neo-conservatives remove their brains and place them in a pot of boiling water. The results are then eaten just before the participants go on talk shows. Sometimes the hosts are even brought a small plate of the delicacy before the taping, to help them concentrate. Lou Dobbs is reportedly a big fan, while Bill O'Reilly does not partake. The hellfire burning in his belly is eternal, and does not need replenishment.
1)We formed a think tank to solve the problem of global warming, but thought it might be more fun to take our Escalades and Hummers out for a spin around the capitol building.
2)Before they prepared my frontal cortex for the think tank, the procedure was explained to me. They remove the areas of critical thinking, and leave only rage and the speech centers. I didn't mind, as these areas had atrophied years ago. Lip-smackin' good!
by Pantaloon January 16, 2008
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Named for William Cowper, the man on whom it was discovered that a few drops of liquid form at the tip of his dick when it is aroused, and twas thought it might be a little something to leave the kids in the form of a legacy.
One day in London, circa 1890, James Worthington, Thomas Haley, and William Cowper were just hanging out at the lab with their Starbucks Mochachinos, calculating the orbits of moons, looking through microscopes, and whatnot, when Haley jumped up and exclaimed, "Cowper, don't move! Stay exactly the way you are!"
Worthington had his eye on the microscope looking at some platelets, when he turned toward Cowper, who was stroking himself absentmindedly. This was nothing unusual in the course of things, but Haley rummaged through the flasks and vials, and found a long q-tip and a test tube, and stepped gingerly toward Cowper's member.
"What on earth are you doing, Haley?!" Worthington implored.
"Sshush, James! You'll scare it away."
Haley reached in, as if offering a perch to a hummingbird and gently dabbed the end of Cowper's manhood, giving the stick gentle half turns with each dip. "Alas, I have it."
Cowper was sitting as if in a stupor, and relaxed the hold on his dick. He was experimenting with a technique his colleague Jefferson Kegel had shown him, and so was a bit otherwise absorbed.
They placed the q-tip under the slide and each took a taste. "Hmmm, it's not quite jism, is it Worthy?"
"No, something different. Cowper's fluid is somehow unique."
"And so it is," Haley announced. "Henceforth this stuff from the end of Bill's nub will be called "Cowper's fluid."
There was much rejoicing and merriment, and the ladies brought in trays of whiskey and a violin was produced. A great celebration was had by all.
by Pantaloon January 9, 2008
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Co-worker who is extremely awkward, calls at home when you never gave him your number, and has no qualms about mentioning that he got the number from your payroll info. Shows up at your new job after you leave, and at the job of some of your other former-coworkers.
The creepy office guy never leaves a message with anyone if I'm not there. But he's good for hockey tickets, so I suck it up when I need good seats.
by Pantaloon January 7, 2008
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Oral sex that leaves the penis permanently bent.
Samantha assured me that she wouldn't use her teeth, but I had a Fellini to show for it.
by Pantaloon January 24, 2008
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1)The act of adding melodrama to everything you do, even to the point that brushing your teeth is poignant and suspensful.
2)The act of leaving a job when it is at its most profitable, aging 50 years and getting on a CSI spin-off.
1)William Shatner doesn't actually caruso when he acts, although it seems a bit over the top. He is actually fitted with an undergarment ice cup to dip his balls in, to get that speech pattern. Only Caruso can caruso as truly as is humanly possible.
2)I liked the blow-job she was giving me, but I had to finish my term paper. I made an excuse to leave, without realizing I had carusoed and wouldn't dip the wick for another 6 months.
by Pantaloon January 7, 2008
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The act of shitting in a lunch box instead of making a healthy meal. Frequent occurrence on the Popular American Television show, "The Brady Bunch."
Peter Brady opened up his Scooby Doo Lunch box to the undeniable pungency of Alice's Lunch. He tossed the fetid pile at Buddy Hinton, who was just glad it wasn't a bowl of her famous hershey squirts. Alice was always had a couple of zingers ready, that was for sure.
by Pantaloon January 28, 2008
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Apparently something that allows a vagina to breathe.
1)She seemed to be suffocating, but the gathering crowd didn't seem concerned. Her panties were constructed with a cotton panel.
2)When asked if her pussy would like something to eat, she seemed surprised, but the bartender motioned to her cotton panel, and she gave him a Mentos smile and agreed that a cocktail might do the trick.
by Pantaloon January 7, 2008
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