As the world searches for new and imaginative ways to conserve energy, many lavatories have been fitted with motion sensor lights, and timers that switch the lights off after a couple of minutes of inactivity. This normally happens at the very moment that you wipe your backside. A dirty surrender is performed when a second person enters the washroom - switching on the lights at the very moment that you are waving a skiddy paper flag over the cubicle wall, in a vain attempt at activating the motion sensor.
Imagine my embarrassment when Bob walked in to be faced with my dirty surrender from over the cubicle wall.
A starchild is commonly heralded as the perfect bowel movement. It is the result of single push' that produces a six inch long 'sinker' followed by a cluster of four or five tigernut-sized 'floaters'. These little balls bob to the surface in a perfect circle around the nutty sinker - in a beautiful, turgid synchronized display that draws gasps from the lucky squatter.
My life is complete - I just produced a perfect starchild.