A long text message which your cell carrier has to break up into a minimum of 3 texts due to its length. Generally consisting of wrenching emotional details, with a back story. i.e. kook ups, break ups and various other relationship dramas.
You should read the Text Novella Shelley sent me. Her and John had a huge blow out fight last night and he packed and moved his stuff this morning.
From Shelly 1/3: You aren't gonna believe what happened, John started again on me with his jealousy routine. He accused me of dating all the guys I work with again.
From Shelly 2/3: I tried to explain that we sometimes all get together for drinks after work. Totally innocent. Then he started asking me why I don't ever invite him to these things if they are "totally innocent", he actually did the air quotes if you can believe it. So we yelled forever last night, he slept on the couch and packed his clothes and left this morning!
From Shelly 3/3: Can you believe it? Should I be happy he is gone? I miss him so much already!!!! Should I call him?