3 definitions by Obeythelaw7

Paternal Velocity

Paternal Velocity

n.
The speed of sperm, semen or ejaculate as it comes out of the phallus or penis. This speed is usually 31 mph on average. Reaching terminal velocity is also known as cumming.

See also: Dad Speed

"Last night I finally reached paternal velocity, now she has a broken jaw."

"Dude I got a ticket last night for reaching Paternal Velocity in a residential"

by Obeythelaw7 May 31, 2016

Maternal Velocity

n.
The average speed of a baby traveling through the birth canal. Based on the time from the beginning of transitionall delivery to the baby being fully delivered. This comes out to 14 cm/hr on average for a woman with a 7 cm long birth canal.

See also: Mom Speed

Dude, all I heard was my mom screaming and the next thing I knew, I was at maternal velocity.

by Obeythelaw7 May 30, 2016

Mom Speed

n.
See: Maternal Velocity

Dude I can't even remember the last time I was moving at mom Speed.

by Obeythelaw7 May 30, 2016