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No Tango and no Cash's definitions

Top Tier Eugene

Same as Top Tier Travis, but with a dorky name that was hidden in legal documents from his friends until they discovered it in the background of one of his braggadocios texts.

He denies it’s his real name despite all
Open source resources saying otherwise.
Yo- did you see Top Tier Eugene came up with another thing he is the best at? He literally sent a picture of the other guy’s idea and tried to say it was his! What a dork!
by No Tango and no Cash September 24, 2023
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Come on Kurt

The ultimate family fantasy trophy is named after the most common saying of a beloved Aunt who passed a few years ago.

In true family spirit- having fun with fooling around and busting balls to build comradery, the team managers decided to create an acronym for the “Come on Kurt” Trophy and play the annual seasons for the “COK.”

It is the most prized trophy of any and all fantasy football leagues.
Player 1: “Thanks to Scott, who was the first champion of the SFFL, for his selfless dedication to aunt Margie, declining the right to name it after him for being the first winner.”

Commish: “The Come on Kurt” trophy will now be named the “COK.” Fran will still never win it though because his team always sucks!

Player 2: Yunkle Terry always cheats because he wants to get his hands on the COK!

Player 3: Timmy will always be tricking the guys into fighting hard for the COK because it’s funny as shit!
by No Tango and no Cash September 17, 2023
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One Ball Court

A location on Google maps where a cousin in a large Irish Catholic Family lives. The court is shaped like a single nut-ball sack with a big cock.

This cousin receives “bag of Dicks” gifts and “I’m gay” gear from the other members of the SFFL fantasy football league.

Damon loves living at One Ball Court in Gloucester County, NJ! He will never move.
Cousin Damon got beat by cousin Fran again in fantasy. Under Rule 2018:005, Fran now has the right to bust Damon’s balls all week.

As punishment, Fran mailed a 300 pack of “bag of dicks” gifts to Damon at One Ball Court.

None of us can figure out why Damon moved his family to a court shaped like a uni-testical hanging from a really long cock. Guess he wants a lifetime supply of those bags of dicks!
by No Tango and no Cash September 17, 2023
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TSA Pay Raise

When your company says they fought hard for a raise - but knew there wasn’t enough money in the budget and a reduction in pay was coming.

So you get a raise for the last 3 months of one fiscal year and then they pull it back as the new fiscal year starts…then initiate a cut in pay, essentially wiping out your pay raise and even making you poorer.
Person 1: Hey, did you see we are getting a TSA Pay Raise this year?

Person 2: Yea, here comes 3 months of pay at the rate we deserve and then a fiscal year take back followed by a reduction in pay.

Person 1: There goes my morale. I think I’m going to try being a truck driver.
by No Tango and no Cash September 13, 2023
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Francis Fur

When cousins are all at the beach surfing, and one has a totally hairy chest while the others are all baby-seal-slick, that hairy cousin has Francis Fur.

Francis Fur grows like a genetic mutation, and can not be easily shaved. Razors clog and break so tree trimmers are needed. Francis Fur creates enough static electricity on a dry winter day to power a house for a week.

Francis Fur has a Velcro effect and must be covered by a cotton shirt, preferably one with a 4 leaf Irish clover logo on it, in order to prevent static cling to any item.
During a family get together, Uncle Kurt told everyone a surfing story:

“Wow, when cousin Steve, went surfing with cousin Damon, they were riding a wave and really carving the tube. All of a sudden, both boards got magically stuck in the water and they both flew off into the rotor.”

“When they cam up, both boards were stuck to cousin Fran, who had been body surfing in the path. Apparently, his Francis Fur velcroed the boards because he didn’t have his t-shirt on.”

“Luckily, neither Steve nor Damon were injured when the boards were ripped out from under them.”
by No Tango and no Cash September 28, 2023
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Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s

When the cousins all meet in Tampa and want to have a good time- and they end up dragging a dead weight cousin around all week.
Damon and Terrence flew to Florida for a Weekend at Bernie and Steve’s! Damon didn’t want to go to the strip club though because he was scared his wife would kill him - so Terrence has to drag him around all weekend
by No Tango and no Cash March 25, 2024
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Ashley brows

When a girl shaves her eyebrows off so she can draw in or stick on new ones that look totally different on her face.

Ashley Brows are usually angled at least 45 degrees and if they came together would look like the C7 Chevrolet Corvette symbol.

Ashley Brows can make you look mean or like you are really focused on a person to the point of straining your eyes, even though you may be completely relaxed in reality.

When Ashley Brows are over widely opened eyes where you can see white all the way around the iris, they are called Mings - because Ashley Brows. An make you look like Ming the Merciless from Glash Gordon.
“Yo, when Steve took Ashley to the Tampa Bay Lightning game- she donned her Ashley Brows. It took her 1 hr to shave off her natural eyebrows and pencil in some Mings.”

Steve is a flyers fan and wore his old #1 Bernie P jersey, while Ashley wore her all Blue Stamkos, #91 jersey. Steve had to tell
Some other flyers fans at the game to knock it off when they kept calling Ashley “Flash” when TB scored. Steve had to clarify that it’s not Flash but Ming the Merciless…an easy mistake with the big lightning bolt on the front of Ashley’s jersey.
by No Tango and no Cash September 19, 2023
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