Definitions by Nick D
living in a van down by the river
A figurative expression meaning being a complete failure at life, a drain on society. Originates from the SNL skit featuring Chris Farley as Matt Foley, motivational speaker.
"You kids are probably saying to yourself, "Now, I'm gonna go out, and I'm gonna get the world by the tail and wrap it around and put it in my pocket!" Well, I'm here to tell you that you're probably gonna find out, as you go out there, that you're not gonna amount to jack squat!" You're gonna end up eating a steady diet of government cheese and living in a van down by the river!" -Matt Foley
Dad: "You made it, son! Congratulations on graduating from Harvard Summa Cum Laude and getting that great job at Goldman Sachs, the world's #1 investment bank."
Son: "Thanks, dad. But actually I only got Magna Cum Laude and will be working at Morgan Stanley, the #2 investment bank in the world."
Dad: "WHAAAAAAT?!?! How have I raised such a worthless, good-for-nothing slacker? You couldn't even finish in the top 10% of your Harvard class with your 3 point..."
Son: "3.76."
Dad: "3.76? A monkey with down syndrome could get a better GPA than that! You miserable failure!"
Son: "Dad, seriously, I worked really hard!"
Dad: "I bet you did! I bet you worked your ass off playing beer pong and chasing the coeds! Well sonny, you're going to have plenty of time to drink beer and chase trashy women when you're LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!"
Dad: "You made it, son! Congratulations on graduating from Harvard Summa Cum Laude and getting that great job at Goldman Sachs, the world's #1 investment bank."
Son: "Thanks, dad. But actually I only got Magna Cum Laude and will be working at Morgan Stanley, the #2 investment bank in the world."
Dad: "WHAAAAAAT?!?! How have I raised such a worthless, good-for-nothing slacker? You couldn't even finish in the top 10% of your Harvard class with your 3 point..."
Son: "3.76."
Dad: "3.76? A monkey with down syndrome could get a better GPA than that! You miserable failure!"
Son: "Dad, seriously, I worked really hard!"
Dad: "I bet you did! I bet you worked your ass off playing beer pong and chasing the coeds! Well sonny, you're going to have plenty of time to drink beer and chase trashy women when you're LIVING IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!!"
living in a van down by the river by Nick D June 21, 2006
ride dirty
1) To roll in your car with drugs, guns, or other shit you don't want the cops to find. Usually drugs.
2) To not have taken a shower in awhile or wiped one's ass properly.
2) To not have taken a shower in awhile or wiped one's ass properly.
1)
"They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin'
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty."
(Chamillionaire - "Ridin' Dirty")
2)
Jim: "Hey, get your ass over here. There's grippa bitches. What's taking so long?"
James: "Give me 20 minutes. Gotta take a shower."
Jim: "Dude, you don't need a shower. The party's not gonna wait."
James: "No, you don't understand...it was chili con carne night and we're out of T.P. The neighbors came over to complain because they thought someone was playing the trumpet terribly while firing a machine gun."
Jim: "OOOOH yeah, good call. You really don't want to ride dirty like that."
"They see me rollin', they hatin', patrollin'
Tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty."
(Chamillionaire - "Ridin' Dirty")
2)
Jim: "Hey, get your ass over here. There's grippa bitches. What's taking so long?"
James: "Give me 20 minutes. Gotta take a shower."
Jim: "Dude, you don't need a shower. The party's not gonna wait."
James: "No, you don't understand...it was chili con carne night and we're out of T.P. The neighbors came over to complain because they thought someone was playing the trumpet terribly while firing a machine gun."
Jim: "OOOOH yeah, good call. You really don't want to ride dirty like that."
ride dirty by Nick D June 11, 2006
Word of the Day on June 23, 2006
get a grip
Jared: "I'm never going to be able to feed everyone at the party with only one bag of chips!!! OH NOOOO!!!"
Mark: "Get a grip, man!!! You're freaking out!!!"
Jared: "Gee, what a swell idea! I'll just get 3 or 4 bags...that should be more than enough!"
Mark: "Get a grip, man!!! You're freaking out!!!"
Jared: "Gee, what a swell idea! I'll just get 3 or 4 bags...that should be more than enough!"
get a grip by Nick D June 3, 2006
like a Turkish student loves Stochastic Modeling
A common saying used to describe a powerful love for something/someone...generally used like this: "I love ______ like a Turkish student loves Stochastic Modeling." This saying comes from the fact that a large number of Turkish students generally come to American universities to study this subject. Same basic idea as like a fat kid loves cake.
50 Cent: "Yo bitch, you's a fine-ass piece, you know what I'm sayin'? I love yo' ass like a Turkish student loves Stochastic Modeling."
Ho: "Aww...that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. You're so sweet!"
Ho: "Aww...that's the most romantic thing I've ever heard. You're so sweet!"
like a Turkish student loves Stochastic Modeling by Nick D May 30, 2006
get more ass than a toilet seat
Nate Dogg: "...I like good pussy and I like good trees. Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe, and I get more ass than a toilet seat."
When Fred got promoted from restroom attendant to bouncer at the club, he started getting more ass than a toilet seat.
When Fred got promoted from restroom attendant to bouncer at the club, he started getting more ass than a toilet seat.
get more ass than a toilet seat by Nick D May 28, 2006