Nedd Ludd's definitions

gayspeak

(GAY-speek)n. communication between homosexual males (usually in private) who speak in a familiar manner that comes across, initially ,as polite discourse but it is usually loaded with rancor and/or sarcasm

Tod: "Hey Queen. Don't you look lovely today"
Ted: "Thank you Miss Thing! I do don't I?"
Tim: "You two are a real mess."
Tod: "What's her problem? Didn't get any last night?"
Ted: "Whatever! The bitch thinks she's all that..."
Tim: "You girls work my nerves with all that gayspeak. You sound like a couple of black women."
Tad: "You know what they say honey: Trapped inside every gay man is a black female entertainer."
Tim and Tod: "Thank you honey!"

by Nedd Ludd October 10, 2005

fuck nose

(FUK noze) noun. 1. a real asshole, a bastard, a prick, a son of a bitch, an idiot, a fool, a schmuck, a looser, etc 2. a dimunitive used most affectionately with a twinge of the sarcastic

Terry: Sue, you are really a greedy bitch.
Sue: Why? What did I do now?
Terry: You smoked up all my shit goddamnit!
Sue: Yeah, well, I'm a fuck nose.

Sue: Hi Maryann. What's up?
Maryann: Hey fuck nose. How are ya doin?
Sue: Not bad for a fuck nose- thanks.

by Nedd Ludd October 10, 2005

diltf

(dilltff) noun. abbreviation or anagram for 'Dad I'd like to fuck'

Sue: Wow, check out that fine guy over there.
Sally: The one with the kids?
Sue: Whatever. He is definately a diltf.
Sally: You're right.

by Nedd Ludd October 10, 2005

crystal dick

(KRIS toll dik) adj. the frustrating condition that often occurs with a man's penis when he wants to engage in sex, or masturbate, but his manhood has been rendered useless because it will not become, or stay, erect because he is high on meth

Tod: Hey Ted, what's wrong with your dick tonight? Do you think it will get hard enough to poke my hole?
Ted: I don't know. I think that I might have crystal dick.

by Nedd Ludd September 1, 2005

not Jewish

(not JEW-ish) adjective. the catch all phrase used between Yids to classify someone who is Catholic, Protestant, Baptist, Methodist, Athiest, Muslim, etc.

Rose: So, tell me about your lovely friend Sue.
Eugene: What's to tell?
Rose: Well, does she go to Beth Israel Temple?
Eugene: No. She's not Jewish.
Rose: Oy. My heart.

by Nedd Ludd October 10, 2005

global commons

(GLOW-bowl KAHM-unz) noun. natural resources (such as pure water and clean air) that should be provided for everyone free of charge, regardless of socioeconomic status for they belong, worldwide, to everyone- EQUALLY!

sane person: "If Suez, the conglomerate that fucked up Atlanta's water and sewer system, hooks up with Omni-tems and the neo cons the global commons is truly in jeopardy."
another sane person: "They would like nothing better than the privatization of everything.
sane person: "Yeah, the next thing you know they will be selling us air!"
another sane person: "Well, it's like Lenin said, 'The decline of capitalism leads to fascism.'"

by Nedd Ludd October 10, 2005

toxic gumbo

(TOCKS ick GUM bow) adj. in reference to the foul, fetid, putrid, industrially polluted, bloated corpse filled flood waters that innundated 'soup bowl' shaped New Orleans for weeks after the damage from Hurricane Katrina caused the unsafe levee system to fail miserably

evacuee on roof 1: Gee, I wouldn't drink that water if I were you.
evacuee on roof 2: Why not? I'm thirsty as hell.
evacuee on roof 1: It looks like toxic gumbo to me. Wait for FEMA to rescue us. They'll be here soon.
evacuee on roof 2: I think I saw them over at the nursing home.

by Nedd Ludd October 10, 2005