MrKoi's definitions

netlurker

A person who's networking skills are so poor, they are unable to even thinly veil their own personal interests that are motivating them to talk to you. Consequently, conversations are dull and awkward, leaving you feeling cheap and used due to its blatant and impersonal nature.

John is such a netlurker; he needs to realise that he's talking to a person, not a company brochure. John, get some people skills.

by MrKoi June 23, 2007

crime scene

A person's genital area. I first heard this reference while watching Dane Cook standup footage.

Shirley's got a messy crime scene.

by MrKoi May 31, 2007

the spot

Code name for a place so horrible that you don't want to mention its real name in the company of others. Generally characterised by the presence of sub-standard food or drinks, and a plethora of single, overweight and too old mothers looking for a 'good time'.

It's been a while, should we go to The Spot tonight?

by MrKoi May 31, 2007

the trinity

1. The post-match/training athletic refreshment of a pint of beer, water, and coke/lemonade. The beer provides analgesic effects to help mask any injuries, the water provides hydration, and the coke or lemonade delivers carbohydrate in a readily available and easy to digest format.

2. The name of the group of athletes (defensement from Hillcroft Lacrosse Club) who initialised the practice of consuming The Trinity.

*At the bar after a game*

Mitch: What do you want?

Dave: The Trinity

by MrKoi March 25, 2008

Exams

A set of assessed procedures to gauge academic performance following a course of study. However, Marxists would argue that this is in fact a product of 'false consciousness': exams are actually engineered to force the proletariat of students to undertake the normail 'duties' of everyday life. These usually involve hygeine; for example, washing your clothes, cleaning your room, or undertaking a meaningless life mission such as adding definitions to the Urban Dictionary.

A: Do you want to come over for a 5-course dinner and literature discussion group after I finish indexing all my bank statements?

B: Sure, what's the occasion?

A: I've got exams.

by MrKoi May 31, 2007

base jumper

A variation on the classic Eiffel Tower. Two normal-sized men set up a Mexican Barbeque on a woman, and join hands. A midget with a kiddie-sized BASE jumping gear is hanging from the waist of the woman, and is fucking her vagina. When the midget cums, he releases his grip on the woman, falling to the ground like a base jumper.

Did you know that Wee-Man's last role in a film was as a base jumper?

by MrKoi June 1, 2007

morning after balls

The nasty, sweaty, slimy and stinking mess that is your crime scene after a particularly heavy night. Usually the state of them will offend even yourself, and you are often in such an extremely hungover state that you have missed your opportunity to shower that day. The only cure is to scrub thoroughly and treat with Gold Bond. This can have various causes such as: 1)dancing all night, allowing for a sufficient coating of sweat to turn rancid while you sleep; or 2) after a night of particularly excessive sexual exploits, the 'maturing' of 'love fluids' on the affected area.

Today is probably one of the worst days of my life, I've got a beastly hangover, don't have any of the right books for my lectures, and a killer case of morning after balls. Can I borrow your shower?

by MrKoi May 31, 2007