11 definitions by Monkey Shagger
A form of Cock and Ball Torture where one is strapped naked outside during a thunderstorm and has a lightning rod inserted into the urethra. Should a bolt of lightning strike it, they achieve the power of Thor.
Simp 1: “bruh my girl is gonna give me The Hammer of Thor if it rains tonight.”
Simp 2: “don’t fucking talk to me dude.”
Simp 2: “don’t fucking talk to me dude.”
by Monkey Shagger May 1, 2020
When you’ve been gooning all night in bed and at the crack of dawn you bust a nut across the room, causing the cumshot to hit a window and look like a star in the sky.
Bro 1: “Damn you look really happy today. What’s up?”
Bro 2: “Man I saw The Morning Star today after the wank session.”
Bro 1: “Aight, don’t talk to me anymore bro.”
Bro 2: “Man I saw The Morning Star today after the wank session.”
Bro 1: “Aight, don’t talk to me anymore bro.”
by Monkey Shagger November 8, 2023
The act of when a guy cums and the color is pinkish, resembling a Ghetto Snapple drink. This also hints that this dumbass has an STD.
Dumb Bitch 1: “omg Cheryl my boyfriend gave me a Ghetto Snapple this weekend!
Dumb Bitch 2: “that’s the third one this week you whore!!”
Dumb Bitch 2: “that’s the third one this week you whore!!”
by Monkey Shagger September 28, 2019
Bro 1: “Do you know what Karate Fruit Salad is?”
Bro 2: “No, what is it?”
Bro 1: “Here, I’ll show you”
Bro 2: “No, what is it?”
Bro 1: “Here, I’ll show you”
by Monkey Shagger May 6, 2020
Dude 1: “yo yo, I accidentally gave myself a Blacksmith’s Goatee last night!
Dude 2: “how the fuck did you do that by accident?”
Dude 2: “how the fuck did you do that by accident?”
by Monkey Shagger August 10, 2019
The Witch’s Cauldron is a seasonal sexual act in which the male ejaculates into a glass of Mountain Dew, symbolizing the contents of a cauldron, and the female drinks it down. The carbonation, along with the jizz, gives the disgusting drink a wonderful Halloween aesthetic.
Ratchet 1: “Britney I can’t wait for Halloween my bf is gonna make a Witch’s Cauldron!”
Ratchet 2: “bitch”
Ratchet 2: “bitch”
by Monkey Shagger October 11, 2019
A sexual act in which a partner, typically the woman, puts on a pair of running spikes and proceeds to rapidly stamp on the man’s cock and balls while simultaneously electrocuting his nuts using jumper cables.
Dumbass 1: “yo why can’t you walk straight?”
Dumbass 2: “man my girl gave me The Usain Bolt last night.”
Dumbass 1: “holy goddamn fuck”
Dumbass 2: “man my girl gave me The Usain Bolt last night.”
Dumbass 1: “holy goddamn fuck”
by Monkey Shagger September 17, 2019