1 definition by Mattie Fee
A large overly aggressive female (no particular race - ethnicity - or age) who spends the majority of their time lounging, self-indulging and blaming all their misfortunes what ever excuse they can find (friends, family, government, their own kids, baby's daddy or lack of, planetary alignment, etc.) instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and/or decisions. Buffal-Ho is a combination of size, look and lifestyle.
**NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH CLASSY BIG WOMAN (BBW)**
THE TYPICAL BUFFAL-HO SIGHTING:
* The Maury Povich Show & Jerry Springer Show
* At your local bar/night club aggressively pursuing or rubbing on stranger(s)
* In a residential parking lot or walking from a residence while adjusting their skirt/blouse/panties - typically between the 3AM to 5AM.
* Any vehicle where one side is weighed down more than the other.
* At the corner market buying a wide variety of high-fructose beverages, 2 course canned food dinner for her and/or her kids while buying lotto tickets and low grade alcohol beverages - Buffal-Hos can be seen in this activity between 5PM-8PM at least four days out of each week.
**NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH CLASSY BIG WOMAN (BBW)**
THE TYPICAL BUFFAL-HO SIGHTING:
* The Maury Povich Show & Jerry Springer Show
* At your local bar/night club aggressively pursuing or rubbing on stranger(s)
* In a residential parking lot or walking from a residence while adjusting their skirt/blouse/panties - typically between the 3AM to 5AM.
* Any vehicle where one side is weighed down more than the other.
* At the corner market buying a wide variety of high-fructose beverages, 2 course canned food dinner for her and/or her kids while buying lotto tickets and low grade alcohol beverages - Buffal-Hos can be seen in this activity between 5PM-8PM at least four days out of each week.
BUFFAL-HO IN A SENTENCE:
* -Guy at the bar- "See the way that Buffal-Ho is rubbing against me? We're going so I can dip my tender loin into her Buffal-Ho sauce"
* -random person- "That Buffal-Ho is on Maury Povich again trying to find who her new baby's daddy is!"
* -Guy at bar closing time- "Act quick young Squanto, the Buffal-Ho are running and must spear one tonight"
BUFFAL-HO CHARACTERISTICS AND SPECIAL ABILITIES:
*Wears sweat pants or stretch pants and sneakers for 85% of the time.
* Ability to work the government and charitable organizations for excessive hand-me-outs.
* Breathes heavily even though she's been sitting still for a while.
* Use parenting skills resulting their child's advance survivor skills at an early age.
* Consume the USDA weekly recommended calorie intake in one day.
* Attract recently discharged convicts.
* Has a tough time keeping food in the fridge, but can budget $400 worth make-up, clothes, lotto tickets and bar drinks every week.
* The ability, in public, to shrug off dignity & self-awareness of their mannerisms or attire all while confronting normal people as if they were the idiots.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A BUFFAL-HO:
* People DON'T cut in front of you when your girl is present.
* Your phones most dialed number is 9-1-1
* You second guess fighting because your girl isn't there to help.
* You can use one leg of her sweatpants as a sleeping bag, and she has enough for a 2 week camping trip.
* -Guy at the bar- "See the way that Buffal-Ho is rubbing against me? We're going so I can dip my tender loin into her Buffal-Ho sauce"
* -random person- "That Buffal-Ho is on Maury Povich again trying to find who her new baby's daddy is!"
* -Guy at bar closing time- "Act quick young Squanto, the Buffal-Ho are running and must spear one tonight"
BUFFAL-HO CHARACTERISTICS AND SPECIAL ABILITIES:
*Wears sweat pants or stretch pants and sneakers for 85% of the time.
* Ability to work the government and charitable organizations for excessive hand-me-outs.
* Breathes heavily even though she's been sitting still for a while.
* Use parenting skills resulting their child's advance survivor skills at an early age.
* Consume the USDA weekly recommended calorie intake in one day.
* Attract recently discharged convicts.
* Has a tough time keeping food in the fridge, but can budget $400 worth make-up, clothes, lotto tickets and bar drinks every week.
* The ability, in public, to shrug off dignity & self-awareness of their mannerisms or attire all while confronting normal people as if they were the idiots.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A BUFFAL-HO:
* People DON'T cut in front of you when your girl is present.
* Your phones most dialed number is 9-1-1
* You second guess fighting because your girl isn't there to help.
* You can use one leg of her sweatpants as a sleeping bag, and she has enough for a 2 week camping trip.
by Mattie Fee February 8, 2014