2 definitions by MalibuRecon
Tom-Tom-Longhammer is a slang term that denotes a man who is slightly cross-eyed, with pigeon feet and tall in stature (over 6ft 3in), yet, between his legs hangs an enormous penis, called a Longhammer. The prefix of this compound word originates from the idea that if said person was a Native American, his tribal name would be Tom-Tom. It is not unusual for a Tom-Tom-Longhammer to be exceptionally well endowed--often resembling a deformed cucumber whose nutrient source during gestational timeframes was a synthesized form of growth hormone that is currently banned in most countries except North Korea where it is used for artificial excess growth in vegetable production. This uniquely sized penis is also used a counter weight that swings to and fro, like a pendulum, neutralizing the opposing motion created by the large anatomically incorrect pigeon feet. It has been said that a Tom-Tom-Longhammer is the most loyal person you will ever meet. He is generous and kind, albeit awkward in nearly all social settings due to his enormous wanker. When a Tom-Tom-Longhammer gets angry, he immediately and instinctively takes off all of his cloths and begins to violently masturbate while going completely crosseyed. It is best to maintain a safe distance from a Tom-Tom-Longhammer when he feels threatened.
Damn, bro, look at that big pigeon looking motherfucker, I bet that homie is a fucking Tom-Tom-Longhammer!
by MalibuRecon April 4, 2018
A term that denotes an ackkward fellow with pigeon toes, slightly cross eyed, and large in stature. TomTomLonghammer is an ancient Native American name that means pussy destroyer. Typically a TomTomLonghammer is over 6ft 3inches tall and equally as awkward. He is know for his ability to cause intense sexual arousal to those around him. The term longhammer pays tribute to the ungodly size of his penis. A TomTomLonghammer is always well endowed; 13 inches is not uncommon, with a typical girth approximating a large cucumber. When a TomTomLonghammer walks his balance is drastically impacted by his pigeon toes. His large longhammer, in essence, serves as a counter weight The swings back-and-forth between his legs, offsetting his uneven gait. Thus, Genetic researchers believe that the size of his penis is a genetic adaptation that allows him to walk upright. When a TomTomLonghammer is angry, typically he goes cross eyed, Pull his pants down around his ankles, and begins to masturbate while screaming “bangladore” at the top of his lungs.
by MalibuRecon March 24, 2018