Luke Warm's definitions
Abstaining from sexual activities for whatever reason
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
Cliff Richard is a member of the Church of Cliff Richard (I have my own doubts on the validity of his claim though)
There are a wide variety of circumstances/choices that may qualify one for induction into the Church of Cliff Richard.
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
These include but are certainly not limited to:
1. Lack of interest
2. Lack of opportunity
3. Lack of effort
4. Lack of time
5. Lack of intelligence
6. Lack of self esteem/self worth/meaning/ego/gerbils/etc
7. Lack of puberty
8. Lack of appendages (apologies to those lacking appendages. Second hand hardly used or virgin appendages can be purchased at the gift shop of your local ‘Cliff’ – most of these have been repeatedly polished to perfection by experts in their field)
9. Physically unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
10. Emotionally unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
11. Morally unattractive to that which you are attracted to. (not necessarily a bad thing if they are evil n’ stuff, Bogans,)
12. Financially unattractive to that which you are attracted to.
13. Painful history/ poor choice in previous co-pilots on the airship of love
Excerpt from ‘The big book of Cliff – Chapter 11 The toe of the camel, verse 8:
And Cliffs half-brother Ralph’s next door neighbour’s grand daughter’s friend’s uncle did sayeth:
“I do believe there is at least one soul mate out there for everyone.
But there are approximately 6,869,575,369 (Six Billion, eight hundred and sixty nine million, five hundred and seventy five thousand, three hundred and sixty nine) people on this planet (most of them Bogans – that is a truck load of Bogans) at the moment; give up now, more chance of winning the lottery than finding true love. There is also the possibility that your soul mate could be born on the day that you die at the ripe old age of 267 after an extremely long, lonely, boring and meaningless life; that would kind of suck, but on the bright side you would be dead so you wouldn’t know anyway ”
Go Cliff, its ya birfday
…on Monday 14/10/1940
Hmm… “Monday’s child is fair of face” – too true, Cliff always did have very nice facial skin – very tanned for a Pom, very tanned indeed.
Luke Warm is a proud (refer: tool) member of the Church of Cliff Richard
While this is not a philosophy that I preach in the streets; it is who I am and is very important to me (refer: tool).
Anything or anyone that has an issue with my beliefs is more than welcome to do whatever they wish as long as it does not involve turning me on in anyway. You have been warned, I will most likely explode …and then some from any external stimuli regardless of whether it be emotional or physical.
Remember kids…
“It is indeed rad and hot to be Cliff
You cannot get hurt if you do not have feelings.
Close your heart and your soul, limit your mind; be one with nothing.”
Saturday 20/12/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the Church of Cliff Richard mug.Slang abbreviation of the fungal disease 'Scrophulareaceae Rot'
Although this invigorating fungi is primarily to be found growing on plants within the Scrophulareaceae family; it can also commonly be observed (under magnification) on Woolly bush (Adenanthos serecieus) and on the hirsute gonad pouch of the lesser brained Random bogan
Although this invigorating fungi is primarily to be found growing on plants within the Scrophulareaceae family; it can also commonly be observed (under magnification) on Woolly bush (Adenanthos serecieus) and on the hirsute gonad pouch of the lesser brained Random bogan
Bogan1: "Tafe was so luke warm today; it is a good thing I had the scrot rot to keep me company"
Bogan2 (bogan in denial of being a bogan): You are such a Bogan
Dude1: "Dude, I have to tell you something; I dont think you are going to be krossd about it"
Dude2: "Dude, you know you can tell me anything dude. You're like my brother from another mother, dude"
Dude1: Well since you brought that up. I caught the scrot rot from you mums hot knickers dude; I'm sorry dude, but Im so scared, please hold me dude"
Dude2: Fuck off you Random bogan mother fucker
Dude1: Fair enough dude
In all seriousness folks, we have to inform you that the risk of contracting 'Scrot rot' in todays world of automobiles, double ended purple dildo bongs and other such fancy stuff is all too real.
We must protect ourselves; we must preserve our way of life for the good of humanity; for the survival of the earth herself.
Please; if you care you can help, you can make a real difference – it will only take half an hour or so a week out of your busy life, and it is both satisfying and easy to do. Take the time to shave or wax your 'fun zone' - it is the only way we can contain this epidemic and save countless souls the undeniable agony of itchy nuts.
Thankyou for your consideration of this matter.
This community service announcement was generously brought to you by the guys n’ gals down at:
Be a better Bogan inc.
Bobs dildo shop “From big to small, we shall fill them all”
And
Lionels house of Mirkin “mmm… Lionels”
Bogan2 (bogan in denial of being a bogan): You are such a Bogan
Dude1: "Dude, I have to tell you something; I dont think you are going to be krossd about it"
Dude2: "Dude, you know you can tell me anything dude. You're like my brother from another mother, dude"
Dude1: Well since you brought that up. I caught the scrot rot from you mums hot knickers dude; I'm sorry dude, but Im so scared, please hold me dude"
Dude2: Fuck off you Random bogan mother fucker
Dude1: Fair enough dude
In all seriousness folks, we have to inform you that the risk of contracting 'Scrot rot' in todays world of automobiles, double ended purple dildo bongs and other such fancy stuff is all too real.
We must protect ourselves; we must preserve our way of life for the good of humanity; for the survival of the earth herself.
Please; if you care you can help, you can make a real difference – it will only take half an hour or so a week out of your busy life, and it is both satisfying and easy to do. Take the time to shave or wax your 'fun zone' - it is the only way we can contain this epidemic and save countless souls the undeniable agony of itchy nuts.
Thankyou for your consideration of this matter.
This community service announcement was generously brought to you by the guys n’ gals down at:
Be a better Bogan inc.
Bobs dildo shop “From big to small, we shall fill them all”
And
Lionels house of Mirkin “mmm… Lionels”
by Luke Warm October 21, 2008
Get the Scrot rot mug.An expression used to convey various reactions to events. ‘What the fuck?’ may be used in an attempt to explain any one or combination of the reactions/emotions listed below and then some.
A: Confusion
B: Incredulous confusion
C: Surprise
D: Disappointment
E: Hurt
F: Anger
G: Ironically
A: Confusion
B: Incredulous confusion
C: Surprise
D: Disappointment
E: Hurt
F: Anger
G: Ironically
‘What the fuck?’ Is rarely used as a positive statement; however it may be used ironically to convey such is life (refer ex G)
*Note: The ‘McDonalds’ referred to in the following examples is not the all too familiar icon of western civilisation that sells a wide variety of meal choices at prices that are reasonable to the consumer.
The use of the name ‘McDonalds’ is pure coincidence; the name (as applied to the examples below) was randomly generated using a super-dooper computer.
A: Confusion
I was walking past McDonalds the other day; it smelt disgusting. So I was like “What the fuck? Why would you want to eat that?”
B: Incredulous confusion
“What the fuck? All of the people driving into McDonalds look like cheeseburgers!!
C: Surprise
“What the fuck Tracey; is that your mother working at McDonalds in her hot knickers making cheeseburgers?
D: Disappointment
“What the fuck is the world coming to when people are willing to eat greasy cheesys from McDonalds?
E: Hurt
Oh God, what the fuck? How could you eat that cheeseburger from McDonalds? Can’t you see how much anguish and sorrow it causes me to watch you stuff that disgusting in every way symbol of everything that is wrong with the world into your mouth and watch the grease drip down from your lips over your chins, one after another. At the very least it hurts my stomach; what with all the vomiting induced just by the thought of McDonalds cheeseburger consumption by the average overweight western society individual who has little concern for where the produce comes from, the conditions of those involved, the environmental ramifications of fast food production, the nippl… <rant maximum allowable length reached>
F: Anger
What the fuck?
You fuckin’ barstool
There is a maximum length for rants?
I didn’t know that; it makes me very angry, oh yes indeed
Fuckin McDonalds cheeseburgers
G: Ironically
What the fuck kind of a word is ironical; I guess it would have been too much to ask to have a decent name for ironical. It’s a stupid moronical word
*$$* This entire rant (and all sub-rants etc contained within) has not been endorsed by the wonderful people at the greatest corporation in the whole universe – McDonalds *$$*
mmm… Subway
Sunday 09/11/2008
*Note: The ‘McDonalds’ referred to in the following examples is not the all too familiar icon of western civilisation that sells a wide variety of meal choices at prices that are reasonable to the consumer.
The use of the name ‘McDonalds’ is pure coincidence; the name (as applied to the examples below) was randomly generated using a super-dooper computer.
A: Confusion
I was walking past McDonalds the other day; it smelt disgusting. So I was like “What the fuck? Why would you want to eat that?”
B: Incredulous confusion
“What the fuck? All of the people driving into McDonalds look like cheeseburgers!!
C: Surprise
“What the fuck Tracey; is that your mother working at McDonalds in her hot knickers making cheeseburgers?
D: Disappointment
“What the fuck is the world coming to when people are willing to eat greasy cheesys from McDonalds?
E: Hurt
Oh God, what the fuck? How could you eat that cheeseburger from McDonalds? Can’t you see how much anguish and sorrow it causes me to watch you stuff that disgusting in every way symbol of everything that is wrong with the world into your mouth and watch the grease drip down from your lips over your chins, one after another. At the very least it hurts my stomach; what with all the vomiting induced just by the thought of McDonalds cheeseburger consumption by the average overweight western society individual who has little concern for where the produce comes from, the conditions of those involved, the environmental ramifications of fast food production, the nippl… <rant maximum allowable length reached>
F: Anger
What the fuck?
You fuckin’ barstool
There is a maximum length for rants?
I didn’t know that; it makes me very angry, oh yes indeed
Fuckin McDonalds cheeseburgers
G: Ironically
What the fuck kind of a word is ironical; I guess it would have been too much to ask to have a decent name for ironical. It’s a stupid moronical word
*$$* This entire rant (and all sub-rants etc contained within) has not been endorsed by the wonderful people at the greatest corporation in the whole universe – McDonalds *$$*
mmm… Subway
Sunday 09/11/2008
by Luke Warm December 23, 2008
Get the What the fuck? mug.Bella, my soul was always yours from before time.
you are not a Succubus; you have claimed what is rightfully yours and i gave it freely.
you are not a Succubus; you have claimed what is rightfully yours and i gave it freely.
by Luke Warm October 15, 2008
Get the Succubus mug.A term used to describe what everyone should do. whether it be your own or someone elses: we must all 'Love the Cock' - you know its true (would I lie to you?)
by Luke Warm October 11, 2008
Get the Love the cock mug.Random:
1. Someone of little significance
2. Everyone that you don't know and some that you do
Bogan:
1. Trailer trash
2. Your mother
3. see above
4. Look around, they are everywhere. Can often be found at Safeway or exploring Woolly bush while wearing a flannelette shirt, black acca-dacca t-shirt or wife basher singlet as well as tight black jeans and desert boots (DB's).
There are three main keys to correctly identifying a Bogan:
1. The obligatory packet of wini-blues rolled up in the sleeve to draw attention to the guns that they have developed from years of being a wanker;
2. The stubby or can of Victoria Bitter (VB); which also proves how little taste and class Bogans possess; and
3. The 'Mullet' the haircut with its own motto:
'Business at the front, party at the back'
in some circles also referred to as:
'Party at the back, business at the front'
Either way it is still a shit haircut
Random Bogan:
Look in the mirror; tell me what you see
1. Someone of little significance
2. Everyone that you don't know and some that you do
Bogan:
1. Trailer trash
2. Your mother
3. see above
4. Look around, they are everywhere. Can often be found at Safeway or exploring Woolly bush while wearing a flannelette shirt, black acca-dacca t-shirt or wife basher singlet as well as tight black jeans and desert boots (DB's).
There are three main keys to correctly identifying a Bogan:
1. The obligatory packet of wini-blues rolled up in the sleeve to draw attention to the guns that they have developed from years of being a wanker;
2. The stubby or can of Victoria Bitter (VB); which also proves how little taste and class Bogans possess; and
3. The 'Mullet' the haircut with its own motto:
'Business at the front, party at the back'
in some circles also referred to as:
'Party at the back, business at the front'
Either way it is still a shit haircut
Random Bogan:
Look in the mirror; tell me what you see
I wish these Random Bogans would just get out of my way
There are so many Random Bogans here; it is not hot. I would go so far as to say that it is so Luke warm here right now
So little air, so many Random Bogans
Your mother is a Random Bogan.
That makes your father a 'Random Bogan Mother Fucker'.
Guess that must really suck for you; good thing that as you are also a Random Bogan, no-one really gives a fuck
Harden the fuck up; stop being a Random Bogan
There are so many Random Bogans here; it is not hot. I would go so far as to say that it is so Luke warm here right now
So little air, so many Random Bogans
Your mother is a Random Bogan.
That makes your father a 'Random Bogan Mother Fucker'.
Guess that must really suck for you; good thing that as you are also a Random Bogan, no-one really gives a fuck
Harden the fuck up; stop being a Random Bogan
by Luke Warm August 3, 2008
Get the Random Bogan mug.Some choices you may like to consider:
1. We have the choice to make our own choices.
2. We have the choice to be honest with ourselves.
3. We have the choice to be a bogan if we so wish; we also have the choice to be a better bogan.
4. We have the choice to forget and to remember.
5. We have the choice to care or not to care.
6. We have the choice to be ourselves or to hide from ourselves.
7. We have the choice to trust and to have faith; we have the choice to be too scared.
8. We have the choice to change our minds if we so wish; we also have the choice to change them back.
9. We have the choice to do the right thing by ourselves and others; this should not need to be a choice.
10. We have the choice to grow or to hold ourselves back.
11. We have the choice to be strong (assistance may be required)
12. We have the choice to listen to the universe as we have the choice to be only normal.
13. We have the choice to follow the rules or to think for ourselves.
14. We have the choice to listen and to be listened to.
15. We have the choice to be respected even if we are not used to it.
16. We have the choice to lie or to be honest (refer: point 1) - caution: the choice to lie, as with all other choices has consequences including (but not limited to):
Damage to the heart, mind and soul of yourself and those who truly care for you.
There is not always a choice:
We do not choose to fall in love; it just happens.
Love is not found at the pub (Scrot-rot and Random Bogans are)
True love is not something you look for, pursue or find; it finds you.
Love is all, there is nothing else.
1. We have the choice to make our own choices.
2. We have the choice to be honest with ourselves.
3. We have the choice to be a bogan if we so wish; we also have the choice to be a better bogan.
4. We have the choice to forget and to remember.
5. We have the choice to care or not to care.
6. We have the choice to be ourselves or to hide from ourselves.
7. We have the choice to trust and to have faith; we have the choice to be too scared.
8. We have the choice to change our minds if we so wish; we also have the choice to change them back.
9. We have the choice to do the right thing by ourselves and others; this should not need to be a choice.
10. We have the choice to grow or to hold ourselves back.
11. We have the choice to be strong (assistance may be required)
12. We have the choice to listen to the universe as we have the choice to be only normal.
13. We have the choice to follow the rules or to think for ourselves.
14. We have the choice to listen and to be listened to.
15. We have the choice to be respected even if we are not used to it.
16. We have the choice to lie or to be honest (refer: point 1) - caution: the choice to lie, as with all other choices has consequences including (but not limited to):
Damage to the heart, mind and soul of yourself and those who truly care for you.
There is not always a choice:
We do not choose to fall in love; it just happens.
Love is not found at the pub (Scrot-rot and Random Bogans are)
True love is not something you look for, pursue or find; it finds you.
Love is all, there is nothing else.
by Luke Warm October 16, 2008
Get the Choice mug.