9 definitions by Louisiana Gold
Someone who could be classified as retarded, yet still possesses enough knowledge to make others believe he is capable of difficult tasks, thus creating suffering from his ineptitude.
Typically encountered in the workplace, MacTards can be dangerous and unpredictable. Unlike someone who is merely retarded and familiar with their limitations, MacTards have great confidence in their ability.
Typically encountered in the workplace, MacTards can be dangerous and unpredictable. Unlike someone who is merely retarded and familiar with their limitations, MacTards have great confidence in their ability.
Nick: “We both just got fired for letting Pete put the books away?"
Dave: "How?"
Nick: “Somehow while putting them on the shelves he ended up lighting our office on fire.”
Dave: “I told you not to leave those matches and oily rags down there around that MacTard.”
Dave: "How?"
Nick: “Somehow while putting them on the shelves he ended up lighting our office on fire.”
Dave: “I told you not to leave those matches and oily rags down there around that MacTard.”
by Louisiana Gold January 20, 2009
A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.
Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.
After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.
by Louisiana Gold December 17, 2008
A loud, powerful fart that rushes around the feces as it departs the asshole, so it creates an air pocket and the crap rattles around a little before exiting.
Billy: “I was trying not to get noticed while taking a dump at the party and had a shattler, it felt kind of good, does that make me gay?”
Dave: “No, I love when I get a shattler, too bad they are so rare. If loving shattlers are wrong, I don't want to be right.”
Dave: “No, I love when I get a shattler, too bad they are so rare. If loving shattlers are wrong, I don't want to be right.”
by Louisiana Gold December 23, 2008
When a waitress receives a greater tip because her thong is showing out the top of her pants.
In related circumstances, it can actually work in reverse and punish those who shouldn't be in a thong.
In related circumstances, it can actually work in reverse and punish those who shouldn't be in a thong.
Al: “I just gave the waitress a $7 tip off a $10 bill, even though it took forever.”
Ricky: “Why?”
Al: “Because I could see she was wearing a pink G-string and I saw it heading down the crack of her tight ass when she bent over…had to give her the thong bonus.”
Ricky: “Totally.”
Ricky: “Why?”
Al: “Because I could see she was wearing a pink G-string and I saw it heading down the crack of her tight ass when she bent over…had to give her the thong bonus.”
Ricky: “Totally.”
by Louisiana Gold March 9, 2009
When performing the tea bag, moving farther up the victim's face and dropping your testicles on the bridge of the nose and even across the eyes, thus rubbing your ripe asshole on the mouth on the victim. Typically an exclamation point to a well-executived tea bag when performed in front of an audience.
Get your camera, I'm about to give him the reverse bag with fig. There needs to be some documentation he had my fig on his lips.
by Louisiana Gold December 11, 2008
When something goes horribly wrong for an individual amongst his family or group of friends – typically following an act of betrayal or unforgiveable poor judgment – and that person becomes an outcast. Although unloved and unwanted, the person is still allowed to hang around because of his previous relationship to those wronged. Adapted from the Fredo character in the Godfather movies.
Unfortunately, history has proven there is no way to tactfully make the outcast depart. Fredo Corleone was shot in the back while fishing in The Godfather Part II, a particularly cruel yet fair conclusion to any Fredo Scenario.
Unfortunately, history has proven there is no way to tactfully make the outcast depart. Fredo Corleone was shot in the back while fishing in The Godfather Part II, a particularly cruel yet fair conclusion to any Fredo Scenario.
Will: “I just heard that Sam told our wives we went to the strip club, even though he decided to wait in the car. It’s not going to be fun tonight when we get home.”
Jack: “That bastard…I’m finished with Sam. He has become a living example of The Fredo Scenario.”
Will: "I wish we had a fishing boat."
Jack: “That bastard…I’m finished with Sam. He has become a living example of The Fredo Scenario.”
Will: "I wish we had a fishing boat."
by Louisiana Gold February 26, 2009
A rare condition when a person suddenly gains brilliance or previously unknown areas of expertise with the introduction of massive amounts of alcohol to their bodies.
Billy: "Man, those guys were going to steal your car outside the bar, but you kicked all three of their asses! Do you know karate?"
John: "I don't know anything, but when I'm drinking I'm a black belt. I'm like an alcoholic savant with bourbon in me."
John: "I don't know anything, but when I'm drinking I'm a black belt. I'm like an alcoholic savant with bourbon in me."
by Louisiana Gold May 18, 2009