333 definitions by Lorelili
A prototype for Susan Smith and Casey Anthony.
A bed hopper and unfit mother who shot her three small children (Christie, 8, Cheryl, 7, and Danny, 3) on May 19, 1983, killing Cheryl and paralyzing Christie and Danny in an effort to continue an affair with a married former colleague who did not want children in his life. She tried to pin the crime on a "bushy-haired stranger" who attacked them on a country road.
Downs could not keep her story straight, however, and her calm (even giddy) behavior in all of the media circus raised suspicion.
Although often described as "beautiful" and "dangerously seductive", Diane Downs looks more like John Lithgow on a bad day and even sported a mullet early in the case. Despite this, she cunningly bedded a man during the investigation to become pregnant as a means of gaining sympathy.
A bed hopper and unfit mother who shot her three small children (Christie, 8, Cheryl, 7, and Danny, 3) on May 19, 1983, killing Cheryl and paralyzing Christie and Danny in an effort to continue an affair with a married former colleague who did not want children in his life. She tried to pin the crime on a "bushy-haired stranger" who attacked them on a country road.
Downs could not keep her story straight, however, and her calm (even giddy) behavior in all of the media circus raised suspicion.
Although often described as "beautiful" and "dangerously seductive", Diane Downs looks more like John Lithgow on a bad day and even sported a mullet early in the case. Despite this, she cunningly bedded a man during the investigation to become pregnant as a means of gaining sympathy.
Downs also used the molestation defense at her trial, claiming that her father had fondled her; he denied it and by 1989 she had recanted her accusation.
Despite suffering a stroke and losing much use in her arm, Christie Downs, at nine years of age, tearfully confirmed at her mother's trial that her mother was the one had shot her and Cheryl and Danny.
Diagnosed by psychologists as a narcissistic, histrionic antisocial personality and thus diagnosed as a sociopath, Diane Downs was sentenced to life in prison and to this day maintains her innocence, despite overwhelming evidence and her constantly changing story.
In 1989, "Small Sacrifices", a tv movie based on the case was released, starring Farrah Fawcett as Diane Downs, although the Downs is hardly attractive with her creepy Joker smile and masculine face.
Despite suffering a stroke and losing much use in her arm, Christie Downs, at nine years of age, tearfully confirmed at her mother's trial that her mother was the one had shot her and Cheryl and Danny.
Diagnosed by psychologists as a narcissistic, histrionic antisocial personality and thus diagnosed as a sociopath, Diane Downs was sentenced to life in prison and to this day maintains her innocence, despite overwhelming evidence and her constantly changing story.
In 1989, "Small Sacrifices", a tv movie based on the case was released, starring Farrah Fawcett as Diane Downs, although the Downs is hardly attractive with her creepy Joker smile and masculine face.
by Lorelili August 2, 2011
A witch-hunter's guidebook, written in 1486 by German Dominican monks Jakob Sprenger and Heinrich Kramer, and arguably one of the most blood-soaked and hateful books in history.
The main purpose of the "Malleus Maleficarum", or "The Hammer Against Witches", was to refute all arguments that witchcraft did not exist, refute those who were skeptical about its reality, to prove that witches were more often women than men, and to educate magistrates on the how to find witches and convict them.
This book reflects that Sprenger and Kramer not only severely lacked a sense of humor and were obsessed with sex, but also that they had major issues with women; the book singles women out as the weaker sex, weaker in faith, lustful and easy by nature, and thus easy prey for Satan's coaxing. The men even went so far as to state the etymology of "femina" (Latin for "woman") as "fe" ("faith") + "minus" ("less"), which it is not.
Indeed, the book uses the exclusively feminine "malefica" rather than the masculine (and more inclusive) "maleficus" to denote witches, a strong implication that only women were witches in their eyes. Also, Sprenger and Kramer stated that old women and Jews were most likely witches and should never be trusted.
The Malleus Maleficarum accuses witches of cannibalistic infanticide, casting evil spells to harm their enemies, and holding the power to steal men’s penises (even make them come to life). It goes on to give accounts of witches committing these crimes.
The Malleus also delves deeply into the Bible, astrology, and philosophy, as this book was published during the Renaissance.
This whole book is one long tirade not just against women, but also heretics, independent thinkers, romantic lovers, the sensitive passions, human sexuality, and compassion.
The reasoning and logic used are bewilderingly outlandish... as horrible as the the images and reasoning are, they are also so ridiculous that it would be funny if the subject matter were not so grim.
Amazingly, in its day, this book of intolerance and persecution was second most popular after the Bible.
Thousands of innocents were killed because of Sprenger and Kramer, because of the hysteria and paranoia that they sparked, eventually leading to the Burning Times.
The main purpose of the "Malleus Maleficarum", or "The Hammer Against Witches", was to refute all arguments that witchcraft did not exist, refute those who were skeptical about its reality, to prove that witches were more often women than men, and to educate magistrates on the how to find witches and convict them.
This book reflects that Sprenger and Kramer not only severely lacked a sense of humor and were obsessed with sex, but also that they had major issues with women; the book singles women out as the weaker sex, weaker in faith, lustful and easy by nature, and thus easy prey for Satan's coaxing. The men even went so far as to state the etymology of "femina" (Latin for "woman") as "fe" ("faith") + "minus" ("less"), which it is not.
Indeed, the book uses the exclusively feminine "malefica" rather than the masculine (and more inclusive) "maleficus" to denote witches, a strong implication that only women were witches in their eyes. Also, Sprenger and Kramer stated that old women and Jews were most likely witches and should never be trusted.
The Malleus Maleficarum accuses witches of cannibalistic infanticide, casting evil spells to harm their enemies, and holding the power to steal men’s penises (even make them come to life). It goes on to give accounts of witches committing these crimes.
The Malleus also delves deeply into the Bible, astrology, and philosophy, as this book was published during the Renaissance.
This whole book is one long tirade not just against women, but also heretics, independent thinkers, romantic lovers, the sensitive passions, human sexuality, and compassion.
The reasoning and logic used are bewilderingly outlandish... as horrible as the the images and reasoning are, they are also so ridiculous that it would be funny if the subject matter were not so grim.
Amazingly, in its day, this book of intolerance and persecution was second most popular after the Bible.
Thousands of innocents were killed because of Sprenger and Kramer, because of the hysteria and paranoia that they sparked, eventually leading to the Burning Times.
"What else is a woman but a foe to friendship-! They are evil, lecherous, vain, and lustful. All witchcraft comes from carnal lust, which is, in women, insatiable."
-The Malleus Maleficarum
That sums up the tone of the book. Here's more:
"When a woman thinks alone, she thinks evil."
“For though the devil tempted Eve to sin, yet Eve seduced Adam. And as the sin of Eve would not have brought death to our soul and body unless the sin had afterwards passed on to Adam, to which he was tempted by Eve, not by the devil, therefore she is more bitter than death.” (Kramer, Question 6)
"She is a liar by nature."
"...they have slippery tongues... they are intellectually like children... she is more carnal than a man, as is clear from her many carnal abominations."
And on and on; it's basically the work of two sexually repressed, frustrated monks who were so alienated towards women that the only way that they could deal with women was to slander them. They basically claimed that women were frivolous, stupid, dirty, weak, emotionally unstable, faithless trollops who were up to no good.
Because of the Malleus Maleficarum, women could be accused to witchcraft because a few men had an erotic dream about her or because she made a correct prediction about the weather or some other mundane thing that could be logically explained.
-The Malleus Maleficarum
That sums up the tone of the book. Here's more:
"When a woman thinks alone, she thinks evil."
“For though the devil tempted Eve to sin, yet Eve seduced Adam. And as the sin of Eve would not have brought death to our soul and body unless the sin had afterwards passed on to Adam, to which he was tempted by Eve, not by the devil, therefore she is more bitter than death.” (Kramer, Question 6)
"She is a liar by nature."
"...they have slippery tongues... they are intellectually like children... she is more carnal than a man, as is clear from her many carnal abominations."
And on and on; it's basically the work of two sexually repressed, frustrated monks who were so alienated towards women that the only way that they could deal with women was to slander them. They basically claimed that women were frivolous, stupid, dirty, weak, emotionally unstable, faithless trollops who were up to no good.
Because of the Malleus Maleficarum, women could be accused to witchcraft because a few men had an erotic dream about her or because she made a correct prediction about the weather or some other mundane thing that could be logically explained.
by Lorelili February 21, 2009
Anorexia Nervosa is a severe eating disorder that afflicts primarily young women, although men are also known to suffer from it.
Anorexia (from the Greek a- without; and orexis- appetite) is merely a symptom of Anorexia Nervosa in which the victim feels, largely from poor role-models, that they must become bone-thin in order to be considered attractive or to be accepted. From there, they abolutely refuse to eat, for fear of gaining too much weight and then being unable to lose it; they excercise constantly, trying to flush the fat (or lack, thereof, in most cases) from their bodies.
In some extreme cases, a layer of fur will grow on the sufferer's body to keep him/her warm; because they have lost so much body fat, they can no longer insulate themselves.
Many sufferers even hear a voice in their heads telling them how fat they look (despite the obvious fact that they are sickly and wasted away to almost nothing), thus further discouraging them.
Anorexia (from the Greek a- without; and orexis- appetite) is merely a symptom of Anorexia Nervosa in which the victim feels, largely from poor role-models, that they must become bone-thin in order to be considered attractive or to be accepted. From there, they abolutely refuse to eat, for fear of gaining too much weight and then being unable to lose it; they excercise constantly, trying to flush the fat (or lack, thereof, in most cases) from their bodies.
In some extreme cases, a layer of fur will grow on the sufferer's body to keep him/her warm; because they have lost so much body fat, they can no longer insulate themselves.
Many sufferers even hear a voice in their heads telling them how fat they look (despite the obvious fact that they are sickly and wasted away to almost nothing), thus further discouraging them.
Like depression, anorexia nervosa and bulimia are not things that one can "get over". They are illnesses that require help. And poor role-models from the media, from peers, and from parents make the problem worse.
Barbie would be anorexic if she were a human... she wouldn't even have the 17 to 22% of body fat required to menstruate. If she were human, she'd have to be 7'2'', 130 pounds, and 40-18-33. Hell, she'd have to crawl on all fours just to support her unnatural proportions.
Misinformation: Anorexia was the ancient Greek goddess of withering and starvation.
Barbie would be anorexic if she were a human... she wouldn't even have the 17 to 22% of body fat required to menstruate. If she were human, she'd have to be 7'2'', 130 pounds, and 40-18-33. Hell, she'd have to crawl on all fours just to support her unnatural proportions.
Misinformation: Anorexia was the ancient Greek goddess of withering and starvation.
by Lorelili November 26, 2005
Something that is sexually arousing, sensuous.
The main difference between erotica and pornography seems to be that erotica is closer to fine art and of a romantic nature while pornography is seen as crass and degrading.
The main difference between erotica and pornography seems to be that erotica is closer to fine art and of a romantic nature while pornography is seen as crass and degrading.
The Song of Songs is among the most erotic passages in the Bible (or in any literature).
Romantic literature is often erotic:
"...their lips rosy and swollen in delight... Tatiana's honey-colored skin was flushed pink as she collapsed against the luxuriously full pillows on the bed, her obsidian hair spilling in all directions, the hillocks of her bosom peaked with excitement. Felipe's sinewy, barrel chested form and his smouldering coffee eyes gazed upon her eagerly as his strong, cinnamon hands gently caressed her silken thighs, like two gazelles, and the fullness of her hips. His breath caught in his throat as he beheld the blossom of her loins in its nest of curls, the petals dripping with the nectar of her desire, her pearl awaiting his kiss. Felipe's bull shoulders trembled, the head of his soldier rose and peered through its hood..."
Romantic literature is often erotic:
"...their lips rosy and swollen in delight... Tatiana's honey-colored skin was flushed pink as she collapsed against the luxuriously full pillows on the bed, her obsidian hair spilling in all directions, the hillocks of her bosom peaked with excitement. Felipe's sinewy, barrel chested form and his smouldering coffee eyes gazed upon her eagerly as his strong, cinnamon hands gently caressed her silken thighs, like two gazelles, and the fullness of her hips. His breath caught in his throat as he beheld the blossom of her loins in its nest of curls, the petals dripping with the nectar of her desire, her pearl awaiting his kiss. Felipe's bull shoulders trembled, the head of his soldier rose and peered through its hood..."
by Lorelili November 3, 2012
A form of erotica (sensual romantic situations) that occurs between people of the same sex, especially in the case of a same-sex couple. Homoerotica can be used to refer to lesbian or gay male erotica, but it usually refers to gay male erotic situations.
Homoerotica:
Jonathan's breath was taken away as he looked at David's naked body. The rosiness of his fair skin, the taut, pink buds that adorned his bosom, his supple haunches trembling sensually, and the softness of his sex between his thighs, Jonathan gasped with desire and love as he embraced his beloved. David almost sobbed with joy as he rested his face against Jonathan's shoulder, savoring the soft thicket of hair on his lover's breast.
Jonathan's breath was taken away as he looked at David's naked body. The rosiness of his fair skin, the taut, pink buds that adorned his bosom, his supple haunches trembling sensually, and the softness of his sex between his thighs, Jonathan gasped with desire and love as he embraced his beloved. David almost sobbed with joy as he rested his face against Jonathan's shoulder, savoring the soft thicket of hair on his lover's breast.
by Lorelili December 19, 2006
A higher-class prostitute. Usually from a middle-class background, usually more educated and has much more control over her situtation than the streetwalker.
She is so-named because she arranges her appointments over the telephone.
Call girls are generally the most attractive of the prostitutes (and the most expensive).
She is so-named because she arranges her appointments over the telephone.
Call girls are generally the most attractive of the prostitutes (and the most expensive).
I'd call Britney Spears a call girl, but she's dressed more like a streetwalker and seems to be of lower-class extraction and less-than-average intellect.
by Lorelili February 22, 2006
A neurological disease that causes uncontrollable tics, grunts, and repititions of certain activities. Sufferers of Tourette's Syndrome are thought (mistakenly, in most cases) to swear uncontrollably. While it is true that some sufferers of tourette's have coprolalia (the sudden, uncontrollable outburst of inappropriate language) this is only a minority of cases (estimates range from 10% to 20%).
Still, the tics, facial twitches, grunts and other noises/actions are a troublesome thing and many tourettes are mocked and shamed.
Still, the tics, facial twitches, grunts and other noises/actions are a troublesome thing and many tourettes are mocked and shamed.
"I amam- I AM SPANK THE MONKEY 17 years old and CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CRAP CRAP SHIT have Tourette Syndrome. (pop) I do not find your FUCKING article (jaw flex) funny or amusing in any way, and I would like it GEORGE DUBYA BUSH MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD DIPSHIT DUMBASS (crack) removed or changed as soon as SPEARCHUCKER possible.
Let me tell your DICKHEAD about TITTYLICKING BITCH Tourette Syndrome:
* Less than 20% of BULLSHIT Tourettes sufferers swear. You can COON blame television, blame TV, for always HORSEFUCKER focusing on the JESUS DONKEY-FUCKING CHRIST bad side of a terrible thing.
* The main symptom of ANN COULTER CUNT BITCH SLUT Tourettes are involuntary m-MOTHERFUCKER-muscle spasms, or JAP "tics" which can range from (whap) head nods, to a small knee SHIT jerk.
* Tourettes is no ARSE-FUCKING BASTARD (cracks knuckles 11 times) laughing matter, it causes children FUCKERS to be bullied at SPIC school for something they cannot control, and it has even caused teenage sufferers to become NIGGER-BAIT manically depressed and commit suicide.
* There is no BOLLOCKS cure, and the DONKEY-PUNCH drugs that are available to "calm" the tics often have adverse BULLSHIT side efects. In fact, I BLOODY QUEEF once took a drug called "hanna perodol" which BALLS caused my entire DAMN IT body to go numb and basically made it worse DELICIOUS CAKE than it is without the FUCKING drug.
I am an active JACK OFF member of a TWAT-SUCKING tourette syndrome association and BOOBS I am making steps towards BASTARD eradicating the public PENIS view of Tourettes as a "JESUS TITTYFUCKING CHRIST swearing" disorder, because it is DOUCHEBAG much much more.
I am sorry HAIL SATAN! for FUCK "hi-jacking" your entry on DICK-SUCKER uncyclopedia, but (twitch) it is stuff like this WOP that really YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCK IN HELL annoys me. I am working towards CUNT a better future for all TAR BABY tourettes sufferers, and you can do the same by SMEGMA editing this MASTURBATION article. Remember, everything NIGGER here is meant YEAST INFECTION to be funny, and making HOT NUTS fun of a horrible disorder is SCUMBUCKET not funny at all.
Thank you for your KRAUT time.
Best TOWEL HEAD regards,
Phillip "NIGGA" Baker"
-Uncyclopedia
Let me tell your DICKHEAD about TITTYLICKING BITCH Tourette Syndrome:
* Less than 20% of BULLSHIT Tourettes sufferers swear. You can COON blame television, blame TV, for always HORSEFUCKER focusing on the JESUS DONKEY-FUCKING CHRIST bad side of a terrible thing.
* The main symptom of ANN COULTER CUNT BITCH SLUT Tourettes are involuntary m-MOTHERFUCKER-muscle spasms, or JAP "tics" which can range from (whap) head nods, to a small knee SHIT jerk.
* Tourettes is no ARSE-FUCKING BASTARD (cracks knuckles 11 times) laughing matter, it causes children FUCKERS to be bullied at SPIC school for something they cannot control, and it has even caused teenage sufferers to become NIGGER-BAIT manically depressed and commit suicide.
* There is no BOLLOCKS cure, and the DONKEY-PUNCH drugs that are available to "calm" the tics often have adverse BULLSHIT side efects. In fact, I BLOODY QUEEF once took a drug called "hanna perodol" which BALLS caused my entire DAMN IT body to go numb and basically made it worse DELICIOUS CAKE than it is without the FUCKING drug.
I am an active JACK OFF member of a TWAT-SUCKING tourette syndrome association and BOOBS I am making steps towards BASTARD eradicating the public PENIS view of Tourettes as a "JESUS TITTYFUCKING CHRIST swearing" disorder, because it is DOUCHEBAG much much more.
I am sorry HAIL SATAN! for FUCK "hi-jacking" your entry on DICK-SUCKER uncyclopedia, but (twitch) it is stuff like this WOP that really YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCK IN HELL annoys me. I am working towards CUNT a better future for all TAR BABY tourettes sufferers, and you can do the same by SMEGMA editing this MASTURBATION article. Remember, everything NIGGER here is meant YEAST INFECTION to be funny, and making HOT NUTS fun of a horrible disorder is SCUMBUCKET not funny at all.
Thank you for your KRAUT time.
Best TOWEL HEAD regards,
Phillip "NIGGA" Baker"
-Uncyclopedia
by Lorelili March 23, 2006