8 definitions by JoshuaJordan
by JoshuaJordan October 23, 2009
Your grandma's dick-shaped shrubbery.
I got sick of lookin' at those phallodendron, so I cut the tops off. Now they look like Bop-em mallets.
by JoshuaJordan May 14, 2008
Urinating in a public, men's bathroom that has more than one urinal and opting to, rather than use one urinal and stick to it, run the gauntlet and piss in all of the urinals in a continuous stream. Usually performed while drunk, although sober attempts are acceptable.
I got out of the movie and there was nobody there, except this old dude taking a shit. So, I did an Irish drive-by.
by JoshuaJordan May 10, 2008
The paradoxical visual juxtaposition of a youthful-looking vaginal area/pelvic triangle coupled by bloated and probably overstimulated, dirty and discolored labia.
Wizard sleeves - far before the vagina's time.
Wizard sleeves - far before the vagina's time.
I saw you staring at Anberlin's booty-shorts camel toe, but you don't know that bitch gots loaded baked potato!
by JoshuaJordan August 20, 2008
Possibly explained as a punctuated Wolf Bite, the Dog Bark is a sweaty, chaffing ass crack's wake-up-fart. It's a well known fact that farting hurts, when you've got a Wolf Bite. Now you know that such a fart (in which every vibration and clap is felt like a slap on sunburn) is called a Dog Bark.
Damn, I knowed I shouldn'a ate them Crunch Wraps before I goed jogging. Them shits gave me the Dog Bark hard core, son.
by JoshuaJordan May 9, 2008
A rightfully underknown and possibly useless product designed to wrap around your seat belt, cushioning your big tiddies (titties) from any discomfort and, thusly, promoting personal safety for the unjustly buxom and repugnantly obese. This plush apparatus is designed to be inconspicuously disguised as a small teddy bear, when not in use, hence the name.
"My shoulder strap used to pull so tight I could hardly breathe. Now, with the Tiddy Bear, I really enjoy traveling again." (actual quote from a real Tiddy Bear advertisement)
by JoshuaJordan May 11, 2008
The act of using your pant leg as a sling/chute to fling feces onto the face of an enemy or anybody else. This is achieved by intentionally passing solid waste, while having gone commando in a pair of jeans or pants. The lack of underwear will lead the solid waste to travel down one pant leg. Once this is done, you lift your foot and kick at the air in front of them. This achieves the effect which earns its name from the snowman-like appearance lent to the victim by the feces; lumps of shit peppering their face much like lumps of coal on a snowman.
I went to a Bill Hicks show and that bitch ain't funny no more. So, I go's to talk to him after the show. Bitch reaches out to shake my hand and I gived him a Cleveland snowman, straight-up. Holla!
by JoshuaJordan May 10, 2008