14 definitions by Joshua James

Top Definition
A communication protocol sometimes used to connect to internet servers from remote hosts.

Seldom used due to it's inability to display pornography.
telnet playboy.com
Connecting to playboy.com
login: hughhefner
password: ********

hughhefner % titties
titties: Command not found
by Joshua James October 12, 2006
A device with a keyboard that makes slapping sounds when you try to use it to connect to the internet.

Typical usage by a teenager:


Jesus - this fucking piece of shit typewriter doesn't have wireless.
by Joshua James October 11, 2006
An impliment for removing skid marks from the toilet bowl. Manufacturers tend to stick to the retarded notion that it should be white.
Bill: I used the toilet brush the other day because I know you hate a messy bowl.
Anne: I know. I had to use your toothbrush to get the dried shit off the white bristles.
by Joshua James October 18, 2006
The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.
Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.
by Joshua James December 04, 2006
When the skin at a womans arm pit folds to resemble a pussy. Arm pussy, often abreviated to "AP" is the ultimate form of voyuerism. Firstly, women don't hide this part of their body in public, but more importantly AP is a very close representation to a womans actual vagina in terms of lip tightness, and hairyness. AP is a public preview of private nudity.
Christ, check out the the arm pussy on that chick at the next table.
by Joshua James October 09, 2006
Not useful. Of little value.
Steve came over to help me build the deck, but he's about as useful as an arse full of roasted snow.
by Joshua James October 10, 2006
The somewhat disappointing realization one has shortly after fucking a hot Asian hooker in the ass for $3 that something is horribly wrong.

It becomes obvious somewhat belatedly, that although this is the hottest chick you've ever banged, a quick post-coital inspection reveals that she appears to have a penis.
Honey, there must be some mistake - I must have gotten it from a toilet seat - or maybe that fuckin Tokyo Surprise.
by Joshua James October 11, 2006

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