5 definitions by Jon B-C
When a cat decides to sit on a person's lap, "locking" the person to their seat and hindering that person from moving about to complete chores or errands.
It is virtually impossible to escape or undo the catlock without being a complete asshole to the cat, so the person is usually forced to remain stationary for a long while. The only polite way to remove a catlock is to wait for it to remove itself.
It is virtually impossible to escape or undo the catlock without being a complete asshole to the cat, so the person is usually forced to remain stationary for a long while. The only polite way to remove a catlock is to wait for it to remove itself.
Harold, can you go take out the garbage?"
"Sorry, Hon, but old Tiger just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonnahave to go do it."
"Oh, Harold."
"Brad, can you go do the dishes?"
"Sorry, Babe, but old Max just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonnahave to go do it."
"Really, Brad...?"
"Rick, can you go get the door?"
"Sorry, Dear, but old Fluffy just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonnahave to go do it."
"Goddamnit, Rick."
"Andrew, can you go clean Snowball's litter box?"
"..."
"ANDREW?"
"Fine, fine. The ONE time I need a catlock..."
"Sorry, Hon, but old Tiger just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonnahave to go do it."
"Oh, Harold."
"Brad, can you go do the dishes?"
"Sorry, Babe, but old Max just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonnahave to go do it."
"Really, Brad...?"
"Rick, can you go get the door?"
"Sorry, Dear, but old Fluffy just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonnahave to go do it."
"Goddamnit, Rick."
"Andrew, can you go clean Snowball's litter box?"
"..."
"ANDREW?"
"Fine, fine. The ONE time I need a catlock..."
by Jon B-C January 26, 2014
When a cat decides to sit on a person's lap, "locking" the person to their seat and hindering that person from moving about to complete chores or errands.
It is virtually impossible to escape or undo the catlock without being a complete asshole to the cat, so the person is usually forced to remain stationary for a long while. The only polite way to remove a catlock is to wait for it to remove itself.
It is virtually impossible to escape or undo the catlock without being a complete asshole to the cat, so the person is usually forced to remain stationary for a long while. The only polite way to remove a catlock is to wait for it to remove itself.
Harold, can you go take out the garbage?"
"Sorry, Hon, but old Tiger just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonna
have to go do it."
"Oh, Harold."
"Brad, can you go do the dishes?"
"Sorry, Babe, but old Max just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonna
have to go do it."
"Really, Brad...?"
"Rick, can you go get the door?"
"Sorry, Dear, but old Fluffy just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonna
have to go do it."
"Goddamnit, Rick."
"Andrew, can you go clean Snowball's litter box?"
"..."
"ANDREW?"
"Fine, fine. The ONE time I need a catlock..."
"Sorry, Hon, but old Tiger just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonna
have to go do it."
"Oh, Harold."
"Brad, can you go do the dishes?"
"Sorry, Babe, but old Max just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonna
have to go do it."
"Really, Brad...?"
"Rick, can you go get the door?"
"Sorry, Dear, but old Fluffy just decided to catlock me. Looks like you're gonna
have to go do it."
"Goddamnit, Rick."
"Andrew, can you go clean Snowball's litter box?"
"..."
"ANDREW?"
"Fine, fine. The ONE time I need a catlock..."
by Jon B-C January 26, 2014
"Yeesh, have you been outside since that blizzard started?"
"Eh?"
"It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg!"
"Dayum!"
"Eh?"
"It's colder than a brass toilet seat on the shady side of an iceberg!"
"Dayum!"
by Jon B-C January 26, 2014
A triple cross between "mental flow," "zoning out," & "ozone layer" that refers to a person's state of mind when they're focusing intensely on something; i.e. an essay, video game, TV show, book, or project.
If a person focuses intensely enough, they will become enveloped in an impenetrable wall of concentration, which functions similarly to the earth's ozone layer. This "flowzone layer" acts as a shield that tunes out any possible distracting agents.
The strength or fragility of the flowzone layer depends on its ratio of "recepticons" (particles that promote listening) to "oblivi-ons" (particles that promote ignoring). If there are more recepticons, the flowzone layer will be weaker, making the focusing person more susceptible to outside interference. Likewise, more oblivi-ons will result in a stronger layer that is highly resistant to distractions.
Just as destroying the ozone layer is bad for the earth, attempting to breach the flowzone layer can have damaging effects on the focusing person. If a big enough hole is created, it will let in large amounts of harmful "UV" (Uncomfortable Vexation) rays that disrupt the person's concentration, making the person increasingly hot with frustration. Frequent enough annoyances can cause the frustration to transform into rage, resulting in the "Scream-house Effect." The Scream-house effect is to be avoided at all costs, and this can be done by simply LEAVING THE FOCUSING PERSON ALONE.
If a person focuses intensely enough, they will become enveloped in an impenetrable wall of concentration, which functions similarly to the earth's ozone layer. This "flowzone layer" acts as a shield that tunes out any possible distracting agents.
The strength or fragility of the flowzone layer depends on its ratio of "recepticons" (particles that promote listening) to "oblivi-ons" (particles that promote ignoring). If there are more recepticons, the flowzone layer will be weaker, making the focusing person more susceptible to outside interference. Likewise, more oblivi-ons will result in a stronger layer that is highly resistant to distractions.
Just as destroying the ozone layer is bad for the earth, attempting to breach the flowzone layer can have damaging effects on the focusing person. If a big enough hole is created, it will let in large amounts of harmful "UV" (Uncomfortable Vexation) rays that disrupt the person's concentration, making the person increasingly hot with frustration. Frequent enough annoyances can cause the frustration to transform into rage, resulting in the "Scream-house Effect." The Scream-house effect is to be avoided at all costs, and this can be done by simply LEAVING THE FOCUSING PERSON ALONE.
"Honey, did you talk to our son Jimmy?"
"I tried, but I couldn't get through to him. That little game of his must have caused him to form a flowzone layer. It's hopeless."
"Dude, quit trying to show me those YouTube videos! I'm trying to do math here and you're disrupting my flowzone layer."
"Sorry bro."
"Yeah, you better be."
"Wanna go to Jimmy John's?"
"..."
"I said 'Wanna go to Jimmy John's?'"
"..."
"That's one hell of a flowzone layer you got there, bud."
"I tried, but I couldn't get through to him. That little game of his must have caused him to form a flowzone layer. It's hopeless."
"Dude, quit trying to show me those YouTube videos! I'm trying to do math here and you're disrupting my flowzone layer."
"Sorry bro."
"Yeah, you better be."
"Wanna go to Jimmy John's?"
"..."
"I said 'Wanna go to Jimmy John's?'"
"..."
"That's one hell of a flowzone layer you got there, bud."
by Jon B-C January 26, 2014
The delicious phrase that succeeds the already tasty "cool beans."
1) Intended to be a replacement or an expansion upon "cool beans." According to the prophecy, all cool beans will eventually be made into neato burritos. Their fate is inevitable-- it is only a matter of time.
2) Means "cool" or "awesome," but can also be a form of approval or for closing a conversation in a simultaneously witty and dorky manner.
1) Intended to be a replacement or an expansion upon "cool beans." According to the prophecy, all cool beans will eventually be made into neato burritos. Their fate is inevitable-- it is only a matter of time.
2) Means "cool" or "awesome," but can also be a form of approval or for closing a conversation in a simultaneously witty and dorky manner.
"Whoa, check that out!"
"Dang, that's neato burrito!"
"So I'll pick you up at 7?"
"Sounds good."
"Neato burrito."
"I just got an iPad!"
"Cool beans, man."
"Actually, it's 'neato burrito,' now."
"Shut the hell up, Matt."
" :( "
"Dang, that's neato burrito!"
"So I'll pick you up at 7?"
"Sounds good."
"Neato burrito."
"I just got an iPad!"
"Cool beans, man."
"Actually, it's 'neato burrito,' now."
"Shut the hell up, Matt."
" :( "
by Jon B-C January 26, 2014