A large,lumbering horrific creature. At first glance it is easy to be decieved into thinking that this creature is in fact an ocean dwelling animal. However thorough forensic examinations have proven that this blob of lard, is in all actuall fact a land mammal. Terrifying as this creature may seem it is in actuall fact quiet and hermitt like. The Honey moster is without a doubt the grumpiest and most stubborn creature known to man. Once it has found a place to rest it will stay there for hours refusing to move, even if instructed to leave by a figure of authority.
Tor:I didn't know they had the giant floats out today, lin they normally only bring them out on a monday.
Linda:That aint no float,Tor, it's that fucking honey monster again.
Tor:Shut up you willy, everyone knows that the honey monster can't exercise because of it's "bad knee".
Linda:I'll bet you a steak bake that it's the honey monster. Look inbetween the ripples of fat and youl see her bullet proof glasses.
Tor:ewwww your right.Sha'mo lets go quick, before she smells the chicken sandwich you just ate.
A confident and aloof creature who valiantly tries to live life to the full. He can often be found scutlling around libraries,Gavin,golf courses,lard factories,Ferraries and Gregs. Swotley is renowned for his vast knowledge of pastries and old school music, whos name and achievements have long been forgoten.His large and slugish physique (similar to that off Shrek),glasses and curly womanly hair makes him easy pray,and an optimum structure on which to make jokes.He is and often the butt of crude fat jokes.
Linda:Is it true that Gregs has given Swotley a discount card?
Tor:No that was for ferraries Gregs has banned him from coming into the shop at dinner time becuase he keeps eating all the bakes, especially those steak ones, and then scaring off the customers by enitiating them in boring conversations with his podgy,beady little eyes.