All these hateful comments make me laugh.
Probably because most of it is true, but on a milder degree.
Yes we have the rich oil companies and fucking oceans of cows and wheat, no provincial tax and some pretty shit-brained politicians. Edmonton and Calgary hate each other because both of our hockey teams suck, one has a massive mall and the other has stampede. The cities are surrounded by spots of little run down hick towns full of environment-trashing rednecks that spit, swear and drink their lives away. The bigger cities sort of get into the cowboy spirit, but its more like "Yeah wooh! Western culture...cows, horses, booze.....okay people lets get back to work now."
And to top it off, its cold as fuck here - forget what everyone else tells you its like 8 months of winter here, I shit you not. We have had snow in june and august before.
No it's not perfect, yes there are some serious assholes here and yes, we are very rich. But you have to remember every province or state has its quirks and flaws, and you can't always generalize, because there are some really nice people here. Also - if you're going to vacation somewhere, you probably shouldn't come here, there really isnt much worth seeing. Nice place to live though :)
I was about to go all ape shit "Hey man I live here and I'm way more open minded than you obviously!" but then I was like "wait...truth be told most people in alberta /are/ like that :( I'm outnumbered"
A disorder when you have to take random and disturbingly large shits out of no where and you can't stop yourself. Also known as SBS (Satanic Butthole Syndrom). Sufferers find this syndrom to strike at the most inconventient times possible, and are difficult to wipe.
Tom, I've been meaning to talk to you about something
Tom says: Kk
Bella says: I think it's time we
Tom says: Brb
*5 minutes later*
Bella says: Time we started seeing
Tom says: Brb
*5 minutes later*
Bella says: STARTED SEEING OTHER PEOP-
Tom says: BRB!!
Bella says: God Damn Tom, control your Satanic Butthole! I'm trying to break up with you here!
Tom: I'm sorry! It's uncontrollable! >_>
Someone who checks facebook excessively to see if they've been sent any new notifications/messages
"Grace, can I go on facebook for a sec? I need to check my notifications"
"But you were just on your blackberry like 10 minutes ago"
"I know but the battery died so I need to check again, just in case someone answered my honesty box"
"Ugh, what a notification whore.."
The exact stench of the lady's restrooms in all walmarts. And also the upstairs bathroom at most underfunded juniorhighs. Similar to the stink of outhouses, but covored up with the smell of cheap pink liquid soap, perfume and scented tampons.
It's fucking ridiculous.
*runs out covoring face*
"FUCK it REEKS in there!"
"Like what? Cheap air fresheners?"
"NO! Like...like....WOMANURE!!" *retch*
When someone says 'Your welcome' before you can say thank you and makes you look/feel like a total douche bag and thereby, ruining your moment of graditude. The only way to avoid this is to beat them at their own game and say thank you like a run on sentence.
You "OMG! A new Gucci handbag! This must have been soooo expensive!"
Them "Your welcome"
You "Er...thank you..."
*with new knowledge*
You "OMGanewGuccihandbagthismusthavebeensoso expensivethankyou!"
Them "Er...your welcome"
See how you can flip that shit? Practice your TY Delayage
Full phrase being "Don't shit in the sandbox just because you dug a big hole"
In reference to children attempting to dig to china in their sandboxes, the moral of the phrase is that you shouldn't stop trying hard just because you've achieved /something/. For example, just because you've graduated and you have a steady job and you're doing fine doesn't mean you shouldn't go to college and aim for a degree. It's constantly striving to be better that bring people the greatest of success.
Also - just don't shit in the sandbox, that's just rude.
Kathleen: "You know I've been working at this damn office for 5 years, no promotion, no new faces. I think I'm gonna call it quits."
Jessica: "Don't shit in the sandbox just yet! I hear your boss Roger is getting ready to fire that bitch of an assistant he has, and I'm pretty sure you're next in line!"
Kathleen: "Shit in the...what? What is that even supposed to mean?"
Jessica: "I don't know...my grandpa used to say it all the time."
Used as a versatile term of insult, a mix of dick and jerk. Effective in situations in which saying dick would be obscene and distasteful and saying jerk would make you seem like a pussy shit.
FANCY DRESS PARTY
"Count Austin was being quite the dick earlier,"
"Excuse me Miss?"
"A dirk. He was being a dirk."
"Yo we gonna shank that ugly ass mothafucka"
"Yeah, he's a real jerk"
"I said dirk"