A full frontal lobotomy is a form of psychosurgery. It consists of cutting the connections to and from, or simply destroying, the prefrontal cortex. This brain region has been implicated in planning complex cognitive behaviours, personality expression and moderating correct social behavior.
These procedures often result in major personality changes. Lobotomies have been used in the past to treat a wide range of mental illnesses including schizophrenia, clinical depression, and various anxiety disorders.
Celebrities who have had this procedure include Jack Nicholson in One Flew Over the Cuckoo Nest, golfer Jack Nicklaus, Prince William and President George W Bush.
The distinguishing mark of someone who has had a full frontal lobotomy is a nice pair of scars around the temples. The survival rate of the operation was vastly increased after the discovery of the lead pipe, which could be used to knock patients unconscious before the operation and meant surgery was no longer performed on people who were awake.
The full frontal lobotomy has long been criticized by the medical profession, as many are repulsed at the idea of destroying healthy tissue. The procedure while seemingly barbaric has been found particularly effective in controlling politicians.
Tesco began offering full frontal lobotomies with a four pack of tinned spaghetti in 1999.
"Let's go to the supermarket for some pasta and a full frontal lobotomy."
Patient: "Doctor I received this injury while drinking last night."
Doctor: "That seems to be an unidentified drinking injury. The only known cure is a full frontal lobotomy."
Jimmy's Mum: "Jimmy, you've hardly said a word since your lobotomy."
Without doubt, the finest footballer taller than eight feet in the universe. With an uncanny knack for unravelling his telescopic legs Peter Crouch was able to dominate world football for a generation, winning the FA Cup in 2006, the English League in 2008, the world cup in 2010 and becoming president of the Galaxy a short time later. Peter Crouch is a hero of our time.
Weather is the thing that makes blighty so unbearable. In blighty weather is terrible all the time, so much so that many people choose to move abroad or simply jump into the ocean and try to swim to another country. The general weather pattern acorss the United Kingdom is rain, rain, rain. Then a cold front. Then rain, rain, rain. Then freezing winds and snow. Then rain, rain, rain. The Roman Emperor Caeser once abandoned his quest to rule Britain because of the weather, and during the second world war the Luftwaffe were defeated in the Battle of Britain because the steel that made their aeroplanes rusted within minutes of coming into contact with British weather.
Tim: "How's the weather?"
Jerry: "You know, sunny!"
Blatently obvious. If a fat person tries to sneak round a corner they will be seen, as their belly will protrude first and give them away. Hence if something can be seen a mile off, or is really obvious, it can be 'seen coming like a fat man round the corner'
Phil: 'Hey, did you hear Janice was fired?'
Butch: 'Yeah, I saw that coming like a fat man round the corner!"