52 definitions by Jamie Douglas

If someone is morbidly rotund, obese, or even a little overweight they can be described as being 'fat enough to bend light'. This derives from the fact that massive solar bodies like the sun have enough gravitational pull to alter the path of light rays, a process known as bending. Hence if you suggest someone is fat enough to bend light you are implying they have a weight equivalent to a large star, i.e. many millions of tonnes, and hence must be mocked as such.
"Golly gosh, that poor girl is fat enough to bend light!"

"Ha! Ha! Ha! Michelles husband is fat enough to bend light. Let's go give him a cake!"
by Jamie Douglas August 26, 2006
A period of time when the sheer volume and quality of live sport induces a feeling not dissimilar to an orgasm in you.

It usually involves a lot of beer.

OMG - the Premiership and Championship football is reaching it's climax, there's Champions League footie, the Hong Kong Sevens rugby is on, we're in the middle of the cricket world cup, we're close to the world championship snooker, the Masters golf at Augusta is next weekend with F1 motor racing and the tennis summer season is about to kick in - it's a sportsgasm!

A weekend with more than 3 different types of live sport to watch can be called a sportsgasm.

by Jamie Douglas April 02, 2007
1. Something the airlines use as an excuse to charge you more.

2. A plastic container with words like 'Chicken and Rice', or 'Cottage Pie' printed on the lid, but which contains nothing that could be mistaken for these things.

3. A potent diarrhetic and/or poison. With this feature, aeroplane food was a key weapon during the cold war.

Passenger: "Oh Stewardess, there's a rat in my aeroplane food!"
Flight Stewardess: "No sir, that IS your aeroplane food."

BA, BOAC and Cathay Pacific all serve 'aeroplane food'.
by Jamie Douglas December 04, 2006
A time of week, originating from mathematicians in the northern town of Sheffield, when all pens must be dropped, all PC's powered down and the weekend must kick in.

friday @ 5 must be accompanied by beer drinking, music playing, bar snack munching and general chat about anything but work.

Acceptable topics of conversation include movies, art, sport, music, politics, travel, family, science, literature, food & drink, etc..
It's friday @ 5, what a thrill! Beer and chat, hooray!

by Jamie Douglas February 23, 2007
1. A line in football exactly between the back line and the goalkeeper, usually roughly level with the six-yard-box. Any cross into the Corridor of Uncertainty will cause all sorts of panicky and comedy defending as neither goalie nor defence are sure to come or stay.

2. A line in cricket, when the ball pitches usually on a length, just outside the batsmans off-stump. It is such a good line that it leaves the batsman unsure of whether or not to play a shot, and usually results in either an edge, a play-and-a-miss or some other form of comedy cricket.

3. A dark alleyway.

4. A womans anus. Do you dare venture into the Corridor of Uncertainty?
Ooh, he's put that cross right along the Corridor of Uncertainty and caught the defence in one dilly of a pickle!

Fletcher: "If you keep putting the ball into the Corridor of Uncertainty, you'll get an edge for a wicket eventually."
Harmison: "OK, but what if I just bowl at second slip?"

Paul: "Let's go this way. It's a short cut."
Mike: "No, I can't see down there - it's a Corridor of Uncertainty."

James: "Let's have sex!"
Milly: "We can't, it's my time of the month!"
James: "No worries, I'll just put it in the Corridor of Uncertainty."
Milly: "Ouch!"
by Jamie Douglas January 03, 2007
The ultimate male culinary delight.

The man breakfast (TM) must contain all of the following.

Black Pudding
Hash Browns
Toast/Fried Bread

Extra such as ketchup, brown sauce, salt and pepper are essential.

The man breakfast is the only way to defeat a hangover, which is God's way of telling you that you had a good night.
Hey! You left the mushrooms off this man breakfast!

Oi! There's chips on my man breakfast - take it away!
by Jamie Douglas December 18, 2006
adj. The words to be used when no other describing word will do. Powerful awesome things include cake, alcohol, football, and physics.

If anyone in a social situation describes you as powerful awesome you can immediately assume they are coming on to you. Be careful using this term in a single sex environment, unless you want some homo-action.

Powerul awesome is a term that has been used at many historical events: in 1066 at the Battle of Hastings, William heard of Harolds death and proclaimed 'I'm going to be a powerful awesome King'; on VE-day, Hitler was heard to say 'Ich bin nicht powerful awesome - argh!' which is German for 'the allied forces are too powerful awesome for me - argh'; in 1969 Neil Armstrong stepped onto the moon and declared 'Houston, the moon is powerful awesome'; and recently I had a really nice bit of Chocolate pudding and said 'Mum, this cake is powerful awesome'.

Never use the term 'powerful awesome' in prison.
Jake: 'Mike just called you powerful awesome'
Phon: 'Poof!'

Grizzly Adams: 'How powerful awesome is this shelter I've produced!'
Mother Nature: '-'

by Jamie Douglas November 16, 2006

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