JZ's definitions
by JZ March 30, 2004
Get the homelymug. 
Jehovah's Witnesses are a strict form of Christianity, almost so strict that, like Mormonism, many people do not consider them Christians. They believe:
- There is no Trinity, God is a single "thing" who does not everything and is not everywhere.
- God created the universe 42,000 years ago.
- Jesus is actually the archangel Michael in human-form, and not God himself. He died for our sins, but not the sins of Adam.
- A good amount of them seem to believe that the rest of Christianity is influenced by Satan.
- Witnesses attend five meetings a week to study the Watchtower and their version of the Bible. You cannot be baptized until you have studied their material for six months answer questions before a panel of elders.
- They do not vote, salute the flag, sing the "Star Spangled Banner," celebrate birthdays or Christmas (with presents and the like, anyway), won't take blood transfusions, and won't join the armed forces.
- Door-to-door canvassing is required where they distribute the Watchtower literature, acquire donations, and forward all monies to the headquarters in Brooklyn, New York.
- If one ever leaves or is kicked out of the faith, they are disowned from any members of Witnesses, including all close family. If one does something that the Witnesses do not approve of, they are sent to a veritable "time out" where they are not allowed to speak to any other Witness until they atone for their wrongdoing.
- The Witnesses have had scandals similar to the Catholic Church child molestion cases, where they have shuffled child molestors around without notifying the police, or anyone else, for that matter.
- There is no Trinity, God is a single "thing" who does not everything and is not everywhere.
- God created the universe 42,000 years ago.
- Jesus is actually the archangel Michael in human-form, and not God himself. He died for our sins, but not the sins of Adam.
- A good amount of them seem to believe that the rest of Christianity is influenced by Satan.
- Witnesses attend five meetings a week to study the Watchtower and their version of the Bible. You cannot be baptized until you have studied their material for six months answer questions before a panel of elders.
- They do not vote, salute the flag, sing the "Star Spangled Banner," celebrate birthdays or Christmas (with presents and the like, anyway), won't take blood transfusions, and won't join the armed forces.
- Door-to-door canvassing is required where they distribute the Watchtower literature, acquire donations, and forward all monies to the headquarters in Brooklyn, New York.
- If one ever leaves or is kicked out of the faith, they are disowned from any members of Witnesses, including all close family. If one does something that the Witnesses do not approve of, they are sent to a veritable "time out" where they are not allowed to speak to any other Witness until they atone for their wrongdoing.
- The Witnesses have had scandals similar to the Catholic Church child molestion cases, where they have shuffled child molestors around without notifying the police, or anyone else, for that matter.
Jehovah's Witness, on the whole, are good people, and often misjudged. They were well known in WW2 for rescuing many Jews from Concentration Camps, and being one of the few groups who initially took a stand against Hitler.
by JZ June 16, 2004
Get the Jehovah's Witnessesmug. by JZ August 17, 2004
Get the fuckassmug. it's gonna kill us all
by JZ April 11, 2005
Get the bird flumug. The generally used bases, as I've heard them in my region (SW PA):
1st Base - Frenching
2nd Base - Feeling and/or Hand Jobs and/or Fingering
3rd Base - Oral and/or Anal sex
Home run - Sex
Another version I've heard is the four Fs described in another definition, and also a kind of silly one that had sex at third, 2nd at anything other than sex, 1st at kissing, and home run as getting married.
1st Base - Frenching
2nd Base - Feeling and/or Hand Jobs and/or Fingering
3rd Base - Oral and/or Anal sex
Home run - Sex
Another version I've heard is the four Fs described in another definition, and also a kind of silly one that had sex at third, 2nd at anything other than sex, 1st at kissing, and home run as getting married.
by JZ June 16, 2004
Get the basesmug. by jz March 11, 2004
Get the crappilymug.