Inlovewithabsol's definitions

D2

Shorthand for 'designated driver.' The person who escorts you to the club, drinks lightly if at all, and helps drive you home after a long night of cirrhotic frivolity. D2s are occasionally given special treatment by bartenders for their services, such as offering snacks and non-alcoholic beverages to dedicated D2s.

Person 1: "Hey, can you be my D2 tonight?"
Person 2: "Sure! I charge $13 per hour, plus $50 if you vomit in my car."
Person 1: "What? Why are you charging me just to-- ...oh."

by Inlovewithabsol March 8, 2023

Capitalism

A system of government where only the wealthy are allowed to have a say in political matters. You're basically paying to rent the talking stick for a while, but the policies on how even that works are vague and flowery at best.

I love capitalism! It allows me, as a rich middle-aged white man, to come together with like-minded entrepreneurs and develop a system that truly benefits us. God bless America!

by Inlovewithabsol August 2, 2023

The doctor's middle finger

A slang term for opioids, where they are viewed as a doctor's way of giving someone the middle finger. If the doctor can't diagnose a patient's condition, and the patient continues to insist on treatment options in spite of the doctor's reluctance, the doctor may prescribe the patient opioids as a way of simply shutting them up rather than helping them figure out what's wrong. Given the naturally addictive nature of opioid medications, this is often seen as a doctor's way of hurting someone back, often being viewed as the worst-kept secret of American healthcare.

"I recently found out my grandma's death was attributed to an opioid overdose. She'd received the doctor's middle finger over her chronic kidney troubles in 2006, and things were never really the same for her since then."

by Inlovewithabsol January 9, 2023

Counter-hacking

A form of grey-hat hacking where hackers hunt down and bust petty script kiddies and amateur black-hat hackers. Often implies contractor work or the use of honeypot traps to bring malicious hackers to justice.

"Apparently, he was using his charity as a cover-up for his hacking endeavors. He got busted a few months ago in a massive counter-hacking operation and is now in jail. Good fucking riddance."

by Inlovewithabsol February 21, 2023

Steroidial corporation

A corporation or other entity in a state of artificial, transient economic prosperity, requiring a constant flow of exorbitant amounts of money or other resources to maintain itself. Steroidial corporations will often go to extreme measures to maintain their artificial prosperity, such as committing human rights violations or engaging in political lobbying.

America is dominated by the aggressive ambitions of steroidial corporations such as Amazon and Google. Not knowing when to back down, they have grown into terrible monstrosities with countless instances of corruption and human rights violations attributed to them. The government would surely step in to stop them if the government had not also become reliant on the heaps of dirty money coming in via taxes and bribery to sustain themselves. With how deeply-rooted the corruption of the American government and its gluttonous corporate sponsors has become, many Americans worry that only a third world war could be enough to set things right once and for all...

by Inlovewithabsol February 26, 2023

Anapara

Shorthand for "Analysis paralysis", a phenomenon frequently observed in individuals with ADHD or organizations with excessive strategic analysis policies. Also known as "the homework effect".

Analysis paralysis is when one becomes so caught up in the planning process of a large task, trying to find the most efficient way to do something, that the task remains unattended to until it's too late.

user1: "yeah, I just get so caught up in trying to plan out my next move that I end up having to make a shit move just to avoid taking up too much time"
user2: "I feel that. Chess can get pretty hard, and anapara sucks ass. I can run through a game with you to help tutor, if that would help."
user1: "ye let's try that"

by Inlovewithabsol May 5, 2023

BNC connector

A specific type of coaxial cable connector that locks into place with a quarter-twist. The meaning of the acronym "BNC" is largely ambiguous, with various interpretations such as "Bayonet Neil-Concelman", "British Naval Connector", "Bayonet Nut Connector", and others.

IT admin: "The telecom uses BNC connectors for their cable boxes, so we'll need to look into finding a vendor to buy some BNC cables from."
Inquisitive intern: "Alright. Hey, what does the 'BNC' in BNC connector stand for, anyways?"
IT admin: "Honestly, it used to stand for something, but no one really knows precisely what anymore. Just get creative with it, I guess."

by Inlovewithabsol March 9, 2023