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10 definitions by I'mTotallyNotDave

 
1.
The attachment underneath most common office chairs used to raise or lower the chair's height, or when pulled out, to make whoever will sit in it next look like an idiot. When the lever is in, the occupant can recline to a reasonable distance. When this lever is pulled out however, the unwitting fool will recline way further than thought possible, causing this person to experience the feeling of falling. This may result in, but is not limited to: accelerated heart rate, loud outbursts of curse words, loss of colon control, and (according to a study I just made up) over 1000 heart attacks per year.
Frank: "Holy @$%#!"
*office laughter*
Frank: "Who the hell pulled the heart attack lever out on my chair?!"
*silence*
Alex: "Does something smell like zoo poo?"
by I'mTotallyNotDave October 04, 2010
 
2.
when someone, in an effort to seem like they care, pronounces your name differently every time you see each other to deflect from the fact you have nothing to talk about or are too busy to remember anything about this person
Frank: "Benjamin (BEN juh men), what's new?"
Benjamin: "Well I'm getting married in a month."
Frank: "NO WAY MAN! CONGRATULATIONS!"

- 1 month later -

Frank: "So Benjamin (ben juh MEN), how's life?"
Benjamin: "Great. I got married Saturday."
Frank: "NO WAY MAN! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!"
Benjamin: "I did and your inflection deflection isn't helping."
by I'mTotallyNotDave October 10, 2010
 
3.
any button up shirt that is too small to where it looks as if the buttons could pop off any moment. Usually when this person breathes in, the shirt becomes void of wrinkles.
Frank: "This shirt is way too tight, but my other dress shirts were dirty."
Alex: "Well at least you have a tie on that button popper. You could put an eye out."
by I'mTotallyNotDave October 10, 2010
 
4.
That person you wish you didn't know who seems to lurk on facebook or aim waiting for you to log on so they can message you within 2 seconds. You usually know this person from elementary school or they tried to get you in on a pyramid scheme.
6:42 pm <I'mTotallyNotDave> is online
6:42 pm<FamilyGuy24/7> Hey man!! are you sure you don't want to make a ton of money quick selling knives?

6:43 pm<I'mTotallyNotDave> .... effin chat ninja.

6:43 pm<I'mTotallyNotDave> is offline.
by I'mTotallyNotDave November 07, 2010
 
5.
the tendency of back seat belts of newer model cars to continually adjust throughout the ride, slowly constricting the victim like an anaconda. This is more prone in overweight individuals, which leaves the belt pressed into their fat approximately 1 inch. The only solution for snake belt is to undo the belt and start the process over again.
Frank: "How long till we get to Chik-Fil-A. I've got a crazy case of snake belt going on back here."
Alex: "Just undo it and start over. You don't wanna end up like Jon Voight."
by I'mTotallyNotDave October 20, 2010
 
6.
refers to the odor of human excrement that smells precisely like the gorilla exhibit at your local zoo.
Alex: "Sorry about the bathroom dude ... burritos."
Frank: "You suck. It kinda smells like gorillas."
Alex: "Mexican always gives me zoo poos."
by I'mTotallyNotDave October 04, 2010
 
7.
the act of clearing your throat, moving your chair, coughing, or making some sort of noise to camouflage the fart you just let loose. This works 34% of the time.
*fart*
*cough*
Alex: "That was some weak fart camo."
by I'mTotallyNotDave November 12, 2010