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Hifalutin!'s definitions

Pretty masks make you sick!

Caution from one citizen to another regarding the insufficient protective qualities of cloth masking.
"Pretty masks make you sick!" said Henry as his ladyfriend Wendy came around the corner, showing off her new daisy-printed hand-sewn cotton mask. "N-95s all the way, dude!"
by Hifalutin! January 13, 2022
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Sportus interruptus

When your mother-in-law cuts off the nailbiter game 2 minutes before the finish.
She said she recorded the game for us, but the Suns-Mavs game suffered from sportus interruptus.

The Pack went into overtime but the recording ran out, a coitus interruptus bummer!
by Hifalutin! January 20, 2022
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Jizzmatron

Useful man-machine imported to a lucky lonely lady's boudoir. Aka a jizzdroid.
"We think we know the perfect bachelorette gift for solitary Martha," said Penelope, always down with the latest trends. "This dude is a regular jizzmatron. I've already placed the order."

"Covid layoffs left me without a job," said Howie the paralegal. "So I plundered the gig economy for work as a jizzdroid. Pretty sweet all around."
by Hifalutin! January 22, 2022
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mascarification

When it comes to mascara, bigger is best.
“I can still see,” Abra.K.Dabra complained, their eyes atwinkle. “Pass me over the Vegan Volume—stepping out to Club Bahia tonight. I need mascarification – I’d rather be a blind girl, as Etta James had it."
"That was a century ago, said Fifi. "Nude eyes are the thing now."

“I saw Beatrice at Turandot but I didn’t recognize her,” said Extra Ernie. “It looked like two tarantulas had landed on a marshmallow. Then I knew her from her knobby knees and flat chest and remembered how deep she was into mascarification.”
by Hifalutin! March 8, 2022
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The Sauce

Hearts, flowers and even cute little cupids, aka The Real Thing
“I look into his eyes and see vast oceans,” says Panda. “It’s like an amazing, endless stomach ache. I can’t sleep. It is truly The Sauce.”
“Sounds like J.M.W. Turner and a case of indigestion,” grumbles Mouse, a virtual stranger to losing his head over womxn – well there was the sprite back in Fresh Air Fund camp, but that was only a preteen fantasy. You be safe now.”

64-year-old Maggie has embarked on a virtual quest for a young stud. In 90 days, she has connected with a dozen guys on eHarmony and all of them say they are ready for an adventure with an older woman, particularly a "well-stocked lady" such as herself who wants to “spoil a guy”. Too bad because what Maggie secretly longs for is The Sauce.
by Hifalutin! March 9, 2022
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mask smiles

What a lost generation will remember of their youth.
"Later, Joseph would recall not only the hardships but the small things, the lollipops and mask smiles."

"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
by Hifalutin! January 28, 2022
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bRoku

The predictable failure of streaming-related technology.
“Grrrr,” storms Penelope. “Why does it have to be bRoku right when we’re on the last episode of Sort Of?”

“We’ll have to do Get Back at your place,” I explained lamely. “Our set is bRoku again.”
by Hifalutin! January 30, 2022
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