"Later, Joseph would recall not only the hardships but the small things, the lollipops and mask smiles."
"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
by Hifalutin! January 28, 2022
Get the mask smilesmug. “Show your belly,” Josefa advises Cheyenne. “Your boss sucks prunes, and that won’t change. Make her think you’re weak and she won’t know what hit her later.”
“But I’m scared,” says Cheyenne. “Who knows what will happen.”
“You will fool her,” reassures Josefa. “You are boss. In showing your belly you will fend off her attack. Go forth and prosper, as some guy said.”
“But I’m scared,” says Cheyenne. “Who knows what will happen.”
“You will fool her,” reassures Josefa. “You are boss. In showing your belly you will fend off her attack. Go forth and prosper, as some guy said.”
by Hifalutin! February 14, 2022
Get the show your bellymug. “Everything is absolutely cuppacetic,” swoons Cubby to au pair Natasha from the second Starbucks on the block, his IPhone engrimed with chocochip-scone crumbs. “I’m dead wired on triple green molto frappes. Be home in a few, put Jacob to bed—ta-ta!”
“Cuppacetic!” said Rune, his mania aflame. “I love this place!”
“Get your hand out of my sweater and quaff your quad, you dirty hound,” was the only retort that came to Mamie’s mind.
“Cuppacetic!” said Rune, his mania aflame. “I love this place!”
“Get your hand out of my sweater and quaff your quad, you dirty hound,” was the only retort that came to Mamie’s mind.
by Hifalutin! February 06, 2022
Get the Cuppaceticmug. “You should have seen it,” Belinda tells Jack when he picks her up at Sky Harbor. “This douche bag couldn't load Frida and threw a tantrum, ripping off his mask, throwing his phone and storming against the flight attendant.”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
by Hifalutin! February 06, 2022
Get the AA Ventertainmentmug. Brian took a sip and set his cup down by his chair. He cleared his throat. “Could I get a bit more milk for this?” he queried coffee freak Samantha. “Or some more hot water to dilute it?”
Coffeeshamed again. Then again, Brian was from Tampa.
“They sold me a bag of Komodo Dragon beans by mistake at Starbucks,” fumed Angie, speeding to her home in Appleton Wisconsin. “I wanted Verona! And I’m having the inlaws over for brunch. That stuff is high-fidelity. I know I’ll be coffeeshamed.
Coffeeshamed again. Then again, Brian was from Tampa.
“They sold me a bag of Komodo Dragon beans by mistake at Starbucks,” fumed Angie, speeding to her home in Appleton Wisconsin. “I wanted Verona! And I’m having the inlaws over for brunch. That stuff is high-fidelity. I know I’ll be coffeeshamed.
by Hifalutin! February 21, 2022
Get the Coffeeshamedmug. You know it and they know it, and everyone thinks it's fine, but the closet is still a deep, comfortable place.
Mickey the fauxmosexual, divorced with a grown son, still flies to the Big Apple from Elk Horn four times a year to see the Broadway shows, stay at the 14th Street Y and spend long hours “chatting with my favorite bartenders.” Creams over Mariah and Mendelssohn interchangeably.
“Sissy Oliphant has been known to date men,” I told my bestie quizzically, “but she has moved from pad to pad with the same woman since she graduated from Barnard a decade ago and still throws Ellen theme parties; don’t tell me she’s not a fauxmosexual.”
“Sissy Oliphant has been known to date men,” I told my bestie quizzically, “but she has moved from pad to pad with the same woman since she graduated from Barnard a decade ago and still throws Ellen theme parties; don’t tell me she’s not a fauxmosexual.”
by Hifalutin! February 03, 2022
Get the Fauxmosexualmug. “How did you sleep?” said Mom, unloading the dishwasher.
“Oh,” said Abigail. “You know. The no-see’ums as usual.” She didn’t want to flip Mom out so she didn’t elaborate: the overdrawn Visa; Jonny’s tuition; her injured shoulder from where the box fell in the Amazon warehouse. But Mom knew anyway. She always knew. She was Mom after all. She was a bear.
Mike stared at the ceiling--two o’clock a.m., and the no-see'ums were at him again, biting. Why had she left him? He was a good guy. Maybe because he couldn’t treat her as lavishly as she wanted. And anyway, everyone was going to die. Perhaps it was that at the bottom. And there was nothing he could do about it. Was there? God was good, wasn’t he? No, said the no-see'ums, there is no God. And all went dark.
“Oh,” said Abigail. “You know. The no-see’ums as usual.” She didn’t want to flip Mom out so she didn’t elaborate: the overdrawn Visa; Jonny’s tuition; her injured shoulder from where the box fell in the Amazon warehouse. But Mom knew anyway. She always knew. She was Mom after all. She was a bear.
Mike stared at the ceiling--two o’clock a.m., and the no-see'ums were at him again, biting. Why had she left him? He was a good guy. Maybe because he couldn’t treat her as lavishly as she wanted. And anyway, everyone was going to die. Perhaps it was that at the bottom. And there was nothing he could do about it. Was there? God was good, wasn’t he? No, said the no-see'ums, there is no God. And all went dark.
by Hifalutin! February 15, 2022
Get the no-see'umsmug.