Porch cop said she was bringing over homemade chocolate chippers, but she really wanted to get a look at our entry way.
“GoPuff never sucks,” glowed Brian. “As soon as Irene the porch cop sees the delivery guy drive up, she gives us a jingle to let us know the booze is here.”
“GoPuff never sucks,” glowed Brian. “As soon as Irene the porch cop sees the delivery guy drive up, she gives us a jingle to let us know the booze is here.”
by Hifalutin! January 31, 2022
“Our rendezscrew at Chute Jean-Larose was dope,” says Anne. “We could barely stand afterward.”
“Wow,” said Lloyd. The waterfall was a famous aphrodisiac, he knew, though he was too shy to perpetrate such a romp himself.
“Lucky we stopped afterward at the Basilica of Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupre,” Anne brags further. “We snitched some thrown-off crutches to use in limping home.”
“It’s a miracle you survived,” Lloyd deadpans punnily. “Live to fuck another day.”
“Wow,” said Lloyd. The waterfall was a famous aphrodisiac, he knew, though he was too shy to perpetrate such a romp himself.
“Lucky we stopped afterward at the Basilica of Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupre,” Anne brags further. “We snitched some thrown-off crutches to use in limping home.”
“It’s a miracle you survived,” Lloyd deadpans punnily. “Live to fuck another day.”
by Hifalutin! February 11, 2022
Me: You’ve got to come see my niece Addie solo with the high school jazz band—for a ninth grader, she seriously ellavates that shit.
Family friend: Must be in the blood – You used to know something about ellavating when you were a young chanteuse.
“Whitney could trill for sure,” asserted the pompous pop critic, “but she never had it in her to ellavate.”
Family friend: Must be in the blood – You used to know something about ellavating when you were a young chanteuse.
“Whitney could trill for sure,” asserted the pompous pop critic, “but she never had it in her to ellavate.”
by Hifalutin! February 02, 2022
“Storm delayed takeoff, said LiPo, “so MaryBeth and I had a little public airsport at the new LaGuardia, smeared her flight attendant makeup pretty hard!”
“You know what’s great about the wee hours at Heathrow?” whispers Gemma Bryn in her foxy cockney. “I’ll get to grab you for some airsport while everyone else sleeps.”
“You know what’s great about the wee hours at Heathrow?” whispers Gemma Bryn in her foxy cockney. “I’ll get to grab you for some airsport while everyone else sleeps.”
by Hifalutin! February 04, 2022
“I hated all those bleeping webinars,” snaps Micro, “and the boss would always check the Zoom chat to see who actively attended. Now I beg off with The Big Excuse, saying it’s long-haul and I’m too foggy to grok what’s going on. She was sensitive about it. Ha!”
“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”
“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”
by Hifalutin! February 05, 2022
Brian took a sip and set his cup down by his chair. He cleared his throat. “Could I get a bit more milk for this?” he queried coffee freak Samantha. “Or some more hot water to dilute it?”
Coffeeshamed again. Then again, Brian was from Tampa.
“They sold me a bag of Komodo Dragon beans by mistake at Starbucks,” fumed Angie, speeding to her home in Appleton Wisconsin. “I wanted Verona! And I’m having the inlaws over for brunch. That stuff is high-fidelity. I know I’ll be coffeeshamed.
Coffeeshamed again. Then again, Brian was from Tampa.
“They sold me a bag of Komodo Dragon beans by mistake at Starbucks,” fumed Angie, speeding to her home in Appleton Wisconsin. “I wanted Verona! And I’m having the inlaws over for brunch. That stuff is high-fidelity. I know I’ll be coffeeshamed.
by Hifalutin! February 21, 2022
Ursie: I consumed five rather three chocochip cookies every night of the shut-in rather than my usual two — and that was after dessert. But c’est le pudge pandemique! C’est la vie!
Brittini: I grok it totally. I had to move to a 2x at Savage x Fenty—luckily Rocco doesn’t mind a bigger me as long as there’s black lace involved. He says he prefers le pudge pandemique.
“It was just mama and me every night for dinner,” says Panda. “Le pudge pandemique! Crested at 240 pounds.”
Jacko said, “I know, Good One, you’ve raved about her butter chicken, not to mention the naan! I envy your fat rolls. Evelynne and I were scared to step foot in Foodtown, so we ate grape nuts most nights. We’re skeletons.”
Brittini: I grok it totally. I had to move to a 2x at Savage x Fenty—luckily Rocco doesn’t mind a bigger me as long as there’s black lace involved. He says he prefers le pudge pandemique.
“It was just mama and me every night for dinner,” says Panda. “Le pudge pandemique! Crested at 240 pounds.”
Jacko said, “I know, Good One, you’ve raved about her butter chicken, not to mention the naan! I envy your fat rolls. Evelynne and I were scared to step foot in Foodtown, so we ate grape nuts most nights. We’re skeletons.”
by Hifalutin! February 13, 2022