Hifalutin!'s definitions
“I stuffed them in the bottom drawer when I lost my history post,” Professor Maxx explained grimly. “First the mortgage, then the electric, and then the landscaping bills went into collection. But when Cox turned off the cable, I knew it was time to address the sludge pile. Accredited Debt Relief made it possibly for me to finally diss The Gilded Age.”
“I don’t think they’ll ever run that commercial on TV,” sniffed The Perfect Daughter, relishing the knowledge of her own beefy bank account, paid for by the vanity of her plastic surgery clients. She would never keep a sludge pile.
“The sludge pile is yours,” Dick told Jane emphatically. “Grocery and meal duty are mine, as always. Provisioning is a huge job, so don’t complain. Oh, and child care for Junior? That’s Hilda’s job.”
“I don’t think they’ll ever run that commercial on TV,” sniffed The Perfect Daughter, relishing the knowledge of her own beefy bank account, paid for by the vanity of her plastic surgery clients. She would never keep a sludge pile.
“The sludge pile is yours,” Dick told Jane emphatically. “Grocery and meal duty are mine, as always. Provisioning is a huge job, so don’t complain. Oh, and child care for Junior? That’s Hilda’s job.”
by Hifalutin! February 22, 2022
Get the sludge pilemug. It’s not at all okay, but the expression comes in handy when it is socially expedient to give reassurance. Interchangeable with No worries.
The tornado wrecked your house, you suffered a mild concussion and three broken ribs, the dog is missing, and you’re on the phone with your hysterically worried mom. “S’all good, you know, mom, s'all good. We’re all alive, praise God, that’s what counts.”
You come home to find your wife fellating your best friend, a relationship you suspected but didn’t want to confront your beloved about for fear she would get mad and divorce you. You were always a wimp. “S’all good, s’all good,” you say as you tiptoe back out of the bedroom. “No worries. See you later, hon.”
You come home to find your wife fellating your best friend, a relationship you suspected but didn’t want to confront your beloved about for fear she would get mad and divorce you. You were always a wimp. “S’all good, s’all good,” you say as you tiptoe back out of the bedroom. “No worries. See you later, hon.”
by Hifalutin! February 14, 2022
Get the S'all goodmug. “Titanic!” drones NancyLee. “My grandmaw thought it was sweet, but she was weaned on MTV. Today, we consider the memes. ..”
“Enough from the harumphsquad,” objects Gabriel. “Your grandmaw liked her pickles sour, nothing wrong with that.”
Andy and Mandy dive under the couch and power down their Grand Theft Auto when greybeard mom and pop come in: watch out, it’s the harumphsquad!
“Enough from the harumphsquad,” objects Gabriel. “Your grandmaw liked her pickles sour, nothing wrong with that.”
Andy and Mandy dive under the couch and power down their Grand Theft Auto when greybeard mom and pop come in: watch out, it’s the harumphsquad!
by Hifalutin! February 3, 2022
Get the Harumphsquadmug. A tough season in which you might need a little extra antiseptic assistance, whether mental or physical.
Ms. Jerri left a top seat at Interpol under a cloud but with her head held high: “It’ll pass,” she writes primly in a personal email. “Nothing but a trifling wetsnap.”
“We’re packing for Armageddon,” BooBoo pronounced as he dumped sand out of his shoe. “Marcy, round up the H2O, SPF30plus, wild-sourced grits, a pair of good tweezers and plenty of first-batch Vitamin D in case we hit a wetsnap. I’ll go hotwire the neighbor’s Volvo.”
“We’re packing for Armageddon,” BooBoo pronounced as he dumped sand out of his shoe. “Marcy, round up the H2O, SPF30plus, wild-sourced grits, a pair of good tweezers and plenty of first-batch Vitamin D in case we hit a wetsnap. I’ll go hotwire the neighbor’s Volvo.”
by Hifalutin! February 4, 2022
Get the Wetsnapmug. Porch cop said she was bringing over homemade chocolate chippers, but she really wanted to get a look at our entry way.
“GoPuff never sucks,” glowed Brian. “As soon as Irene the porch cop sees the delivery guy drive up, she gives us a jingle to let us know the booze is here.”
“GoPuff never sucks,” glowed Brian. “As soon as Irene the porch cop sees the delivery guy drive up, she gives us a jingle to let us know the booze is here.”
by Hifalutin! January 31, 2022
Get the Porch copmug. “Old man Fauci himself praised my work on the University lab’s bug squad,” lies Elmore. “It’s a shit job, but toxic wastrel’s got to count the spikes to pay the bills.”
by Hifalutin! February 2, 2022
Get the Toxic wastrelmug. “It’s a glitter bomb, what can I say,” tear-streaked Angie apologizes as she steps out of Frank E. Campbell funeral home “– it’s My Nicest Mask.”
“It might only be Spirit,” Guppy explained, “but after postponing this trip for two years I am sure gonna put on My Nicest Mask—and eat any damn in-flight non-GMO peanuts they provide.”
“It might only be Spirit,” Guppy explained, “but after postponing this trip for two years I am sure gonna put on My Nicest Mask—and eat any damn in-flight non-GMO peanuts they provide.”
by Hifalutin! February 5, 2022
Get the My Nicest Maskmug.