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Handcuffmonkfish's definitions

NSWF

NSWF is an acronym for

"Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"
Okay. I'll type slowly here. You're stuck for an icebreaker, so you say to a good looking woman,

"Nswf." Which is code for "NICE SHOES. WANNA FUCK?" and if she doesn't know what it means, it won't get you slapped in the face and you can move on to the next woman. If she does know what it means, you at least know that you might have a chance here.
by Handcuffmonkfish March 13, 2021
mugGet the NSWFmug.

Regretsthedaywemet

An apology that lays blame at first possible cause.
It's clearly and entirely all my fault. Please accept my deepest regretsthedaywemet. I should have understood immediately how hopeless it would be to expect you to understand anything other than basic involuntary bodily functions.
by Handcuffmonkfish July 21, 2019
mugGet the Regretsthedaywemetmug.

Love ๐Ÿ’• shove

A single thrust of a penis in a vagina during sexual intercourse. Countable noun.
"She kept talking during the movie and people in the theater were complaining so I threw her over the seat and gave her a good, long Love ๐Ÿ’• shove..."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 29, 2020
mugGet the Love ๐Ÿ’• shovemug.

freedom of speech

freedom of speech
just another phrase for the inalienable right to make an ass out of yourself by shouting out krapchat and or whispering bittersweet nothings of zero economic value , for people who can't sing
You might as well be Bobby McGee my mooddudebro, I got freedom of speech, you can sing your shit at me like I'm drivin' the train.
by Handcuffmonkfish October 18, 2019
mugGet the freedom of speechmug.

Fartcap

Fartcap, cheeky noun, political

Bipartisan, Uni-sex, peaceful alternative to a Pussyhat or MAGAhat, allows men to tip hats at ladies in chivalry as opposed to telling them to blow it out their ass, while also permitting women to avoid the embarrassment of a public pussy fart.
They're total political opposites, they hate each other, they won't even look at each other when they fuck, but they're the happiest couple I've ever seen in my life. You can leave your Fartcap on.
by Handcuffmonkfish October 22, 2019
mugGet the Fartcapmug.

edjumacation

edjumacation - a learning discipline employed by ugly heterosexual high school gym teachers who tutor after school sexually repressed students who are late comers to puberty and EDGE them slowly with unlubricated foot jobs over the course of a school year to their first explosive orgasm, a coming of age ceremony generally witnessed by the entire class that takes place from the foul line of the basketball court with the intention of hitting five to seven shots in a row that would be total swishes except the first one would clog the net totally until it flows over the edge of the rim, to be licked up by the night janitor.
"I don't care if I don't play football and get to go to the prom with my steroid shriveled testicles, I'm getting a good edjumacation."
by Handcuffmonkfish November 30, 2020
mugGet the edjumacationmug.

fugment

Fugment NOUN

a fictional memory in one's personal sexual history
"I thought I had fucked her the night we'd met but it was just a fugment of my imagination."
by Handcuffmonkfish December 13, 2020
mugGet the fugmentmug.

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