15 definitions by George Vespe

Top Definition
When everyone and everything in your life conspires to orchestrate a situation that is really shit.
2005 was one long shit symphony.
#divorce #redundancy #bereavement #bankrupcy #a regretable tattoo
by George Vespe May 09, 2008
A woman who arrives in your life all hot and wet, and then leaves with your house and car.
I didn't realise she was a Hurricane Jane when I married her.
#met office #lawyer's office #judge's chambers #legal bills #bollocks
by George Vespe May 10, 2008
A heraldic device symbolising sexual potency, an erect penis.
After several bottles of Spanish wine, the professor found that a squid rampant was a brave thing to aspire to.
#erection #pork sword #pink oboe #hard on #knob
by George Vespe May 01, 2008
Blow job; to go a long way south and eat at the tip of Florida.
I woke up on Sunday morning with an erection, and I asked my companion if she fancied lunch in Miami.
#play the pink oboe #fellatio #gobble #sword swallowing #dinner in the danube delta
by George Vespe May 06, 2008
Heraldic device, symbolising unwillingness to engage in sexual acts.
"And we can see from the Stoat Reluctant in the coat of arms, that the second Earl was a cuckold" said the professor.
#heraldry #illegitimacy #big girl's blouse #drunken professor #rioja
by George Vespe May 11, 2008
Heradic device, symbolising a lack of hygiene on the female line.
"And the beaver pungent informs us the the third Lady Whelkingham was a stranger to soap" explained the professor.
#heraldry #dirty slapper #a bit gamey #drunken professor #rioja
by George Vespe May 11, 2008
A charming cad, who uses bullshit and innuendo creatively, with the intention of getting into a posh girl's panties.
With his ginger hair it was clear that Prince Harry was sired by the whelk James Hewitt.
#british royal family #diana #ginger pubes #ding dong #easter whelkage
by George Vespe May 10, 2008
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