The shaven-headed striking genius who plays his club football for Crystal Palace FC. Has 2 England caps, and in the light of possible injuries to Wayne Rooney
and Michael Owen
must be a favourite to go to the 2006 World Cup, being a vastly superior stand-in than Defoe, Harewood, Bent, Ashton, Crouch, Beattie, Fowler et al.
Andy Johnson's magic,
he wears a magic hat,
and when he sees the matchball,
he says I'm having that,
He scores them with his left foot,
He scores them with his right,
And when he's playing Brighton,
He scores all f*ckin' night
Former Northern Ireland international footballer, who played his club football at Luton, West Ham, Southampton, Crystal Palace and QPR. Has since moved on to become a successful manager for Crystal Palace. His crowning achievement was leading Palace to playoff glory in 2004, and almost keeping the heroic Eagles in the Premiership the following year. Has led the team to the playoffs again in 2006, aiming to win against, hopefully against the widely despised Leeds United in the final.
Iain Dowie's Red and Blue Army