GF's definitions

Fat Calves

The result of a life time of eating too many chicken kebabs and playing tennis. If one has fat calves they are always in denial that they have fat calves and claim that it is just muscle, resulting in asking in a rather homo-erotic way to feel the calves to show they are not fat when they are clearly visibly fat.

Predox "Had a beltin chicken kebab last night from Abdul's"
Keane "I can tell, your calves are looking fatter than usual lad"
Predox "My calves are not fat you swine! Come here, feel them, I'll prove I don't have fat calves"
Keane "No thanks"

by GF August 19, 2006

Alternative Comedy

Comedy that is popular amongst students. Sometimes is very avant-garde and ususally not funny at all.

Crap comedian "Is it me, or do all pensioners stink of piss?"

Student louts "Ha!!!!! He's so funny!!" "Now THAT'S alternative comedy at it's finest!"

Normal person "Jesus christ"

by GF October 7, 2005

MD

Short for MDMA which in turn is short for Methylenedioxymethamphetamine. The most purest, cleanest chewmical in the world. Powdered form of the street drug ecstasy usually found in unclean, unpure pill form. Once you do this, you'll never wanr to touch another pull again. Swear down. However, it has a rather foul, vile taste, so is best taken wrapped in a rizla.

Guy 1 "Yo g you got any pills on ya?"
Guy 2 "Nah mate i don't do that shit, i got some MD though"
Guy 1 "Whats that?"
Guy 2 "The best thing you'll do in your life. Much better than cocaine
Guy 1 "Yeah man i'll try some"

Half an hour alter

Guy 1Nah man this is fuckin brilliant i'm never doin those awful pills again man!

by GF August 27, 2007

10 minutes

What a dealer says when he has left you waiting for weed for up to 3 hours then you ring to enquire on his whereabouts and proposed time scales. Usually this figure is wrong and it will take up to another 30 minutes or another phone call. The dealer will then apologise for this and you just have to accept it as he is selling you weed and if you piss him off then no weed for you and a wasted night.

You "How long are you gonna be mate?"
Dealer "10 minutes. I'm not far from there now."

30 minutes later

Dealer "sorry about the wait...how much you want?"

by GF October 6, 2006

uncle knobhead

that 1 distant uncle who you only see at big family gatherings who nobody particularly likes and who proceeds to annoy everyone.

"oh jesus here comes uncle knobhead, let's ignore him"

by GF September 19, 2005

schoolboy error

The most basic of errors. An error so simple, and avoidable, that anyone with an ounce of credibility or experience in that field should not be commiting it. A mistake that should only be made by school boys still in training for that particular task. Especially used when referring to playing games of pool in pubs, or occasionally during snooker. Schoolboy error can be heard ringing out by jeering onlookers if for instance a participant missed a sitter = he should have potted it as it as so simple, that thereforehe is reduced to the level of a lowly school boy playing his dad for the first time.

And here comes Keane for the winner....Oooooooh and he's missed, and left the black right over the pocket for Swann to tap in...
Schoolboy error!

by GF November 23, 2007

you're sick you

scally term used to say that somebody has told you something really 'daring' or whatever even if it isn't really.

See some sick guy

"So i said to the copper you stupidswinehound"
"you're sick, you"

by GF June 24, 2005