25 definitions by Funny Moms

FuckTime

FuckTime is the go-to method for sexual relations when two parties are not in the same vicinity. "FaceTime" is commonly used for seeing family and friends, whereas "FuckTime" is an extension of an intimate sexual relationship, going on-line, in an effort to simulate what might be happening in person, otherwise. A highly effective alternative to Face to Face interactions. Does the job under the difficult long distance circumstances.

Hi babydoll, I'm at my parent's but I think I can FuckTime...

For sure, lock the door, time to FuckTime!

Why did you have to leave town? Thank God for FuckTime! It's actually super hot!

So nice!

by Funny Moms September 17, 2016

Dudsgiving

DudsGiving is the name for the holiday when you find yourself surrounded by family and or friends where, unfortunately, the climate is less than lively. We all know there are two types of people in this world, funsters or duds, you are one or the other, and if you don’t know which one, you’re probably a dud. Just one of those holidays ... Happy DudsGiving everyone! Gobble Gobble!

Did Wanda really just want me to look at the bunion on her foot? Is there a reason why there’s no wine in this entire house? Time to call some funsters to liven it up! Happy DudsGiving everyone!

by Funny Moms November 22, 2018

Guilt tax

Guilt tax is the unspoken guilty feeling one has when they are recipients of a generous gift, and mostly likely, have failed to reciprocate at the equal level. The guilt tax is especially high during the holidays when wealthier parents or friends give lavish gifts.

Karen to sister Beth: "Oh my gosh, Mom got me this expensive bracelet for Hannukah and all I got her was a pepper mill."
Beth: "Too bad for you! You're going to be paying the guilt tax for months!"

by Funny Moms December 19, 2014

Backside

Backside is the word used to describe when a guy has permission to enter in the alternative option. In general, all guys like to go up the backside but it's a true honor and gift.

Me: I've been dating Joe for six months, and I finally gave him a season pass to go up the backside.
Friend: Shit really? You must love this guy. Oww

by Funny Moms August 8, 2016

Munchausens

Munchausens is a rare, possibly ficticious, disorder that is perfect to use in a situation where one has to get in or out of a social obligation, family event, or work or school obligation. It is rare enough, that when you mention it, people raise their eyebrows in awe, not wanting to question this serious condition. Works best to say your 'friend' has Munchausens, because if someone actually does Google it, you won't want them to think you really have it. The perfect 'out.'

Chauncy: "Hey Karen, do you want to go with me to Opera in the Park tonight?"
Karen: "Oh, wow, thanks, sounds great... unfortunately my friend Jill... her Munchausens ....it's bad."
Chauncy: "Sounds awful..."
Karen: "yep... Munchausens... " Then look down, wipe a tear. Change subject.

by Funny Moms September 11, 2016

sextathon

A sextathon, like a marathon, but with sex, begins usually in the late afternoon and goes into the wee hours of the morning. Just when you think it will end, it doesn't , because one person just keeps going and going. A sextathon can last hours leaving the parties feeling dehydrated and a bit sore.

I am exhausted, didn't get any sleep. I started this sextathon with my BF and he just kept going , and going. Took me a few days to recover.

by Funny Moms May 27, 2016

Lost Your Ringtone

To tell someone, specifically a significant other: "You Lost Your Ringtone" is a serious sign the relationship is over. A special ringtone is only reserved for those near and dear. It is the ultimate end of the relationship. On the upside, you can give the former ringtone to your new boo. One persons loss, another's gain.

Nitai: I have bad news. You lost your ringtone. Sorry.

by Funny Moms April 27, 2018