Flappy Dickwad's definitions
A place you don't want to wake up in. This means different things to different people. To a fat security guard its a street full of Maltby lorries or a world without barbecues.
Who's the miserable bastard wearing the silly hat?
Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
Its Pork Scotch. He's miserable cos he woke up in a Badman Place. Maltby lorries everywhere.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
Get the Badman Place mug.What Pork Scotch does all day long and never gets bored doing it. This detestable activity includes wearing silly shorts you've no right to wear when you're well into your 60s, rattling bunches of keys because it makes you feel important, going out with ugly goofy old women, driving a ridiculous half-car, wearing snot-yellow coats because you're terrified of a drop of rain, listening to gay South African music and most importantly having a barbecue at least once a day in the Summer.
What's Pork Scotch up to today?
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
Surprisingly enough he's doing some Scotching.
Doesn't he ever get bored of it?
Nope. The tedious old twat has nothing better to do.
by flappy dickwad August 20, 2009
Get the Scotching mug.Shades worn by fat old men who want people to think they're young and trendy. Also useful for hiding bags under the eyes of droopy-faced old miseries.
Good God, what's the old twat wearing now? First it was the ridiculous shorts and sandals. Now the dickhead's got Pork Scotch Shades on.
by Flappy Dickwad May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Shades mug.A thick old twat who performed a geriatric break-dance on Britain's Got Talent whilst claiming benefits for being disabled.
Does the old dickhead think that the benefits people don't watch television?
But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
by Flappy Dickwad May 28, 2009
Get the Break-Dancing Fred mug.A gay dance done by fat old men when they get drunk at barbecues. The spectacle is greatly enhanced when the fat old man is wearing a buffalo-skin hat and strips down to his tartan boxer shorts.
by Flappy Dickwad May 6, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch dance mug.Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.
Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009
Get the Pensioner Pants mug.A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
by flappy dickwad May 6, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Moustache mug.