Flappy Dickwad's definitions
A lukewarm dickhead who pathetically and totally illogically cancels his holiday due to rain at home. The prime example of this ridiculous class of individual is Fishy Macswell, the world's ugliest wanker, who put off his departure by an entire day because he was terrified of getting wet walking 20 feet from his house to his van.
I could almost understand cancelling a holiday if it was raining in the place of destination. But to cancel because of rain at home takes a world-class weather wuss.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
And a dickhead.
Yes. A fat ugly dickhead like Pork Scotch.
by flappy dickwad August 16, 2009
Get the Weather wussmug. Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
by Flappy Dickwad May 5, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Pantsmug. Crabby, disgusting sandals worn on the piggy trotters of little fat security guards who think its cool to holiday in South Africa.
Sweet Jesus. What's that little fat twat wearing on its filthy feet?
Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
Pork Scotch sandals. He thinks they're cool because he's such a ridiculous moron.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch sandalsmug. A good place to hide an illicit traffic cone. Therefore this is the most hated vehicle of little fat security guards who think they're the most important people in the world.
Why is Pork Scotch looking more miserable than usual?
He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
He's just seen a Maltby lorry go past. Those things always give him nightmares.
by Flappy Dickwad May 7, 2009
Get the Maltby lorrymug. A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
by flappy dickwad May 6, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Moustachemug. Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.
Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009
Get the Pensioner Pantsmug. Shades worn by fat old men who want people to think they're young and trendy. Also useful for hiding bags under the eyes of droopy-faced old miseries.
Good God, what's the old twat wearing now? First it was the ridiculous shorts and sandals. Now the dickhead's got Pork Scotch Shades on.
by Flappy Dickwad May 24, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Shadesmug.