Skip to main content

Flappy Dickwad's definitions

Pensioner Pants

Baggy trousers worn by old people. The waist is usually elasticated because the wearer has arthritic fingers incapable of fastening buttons and zips. The decrepit bag-wearer always forgets to wash these repulsive garments which end up smelling like a Paki's toilet on a particularly bad day. Pensioner Pants are very popular with obese, long-past-it security guards who bore you to death with tales of their holidays in South Africa.
Good God! Look at Pork Scotch! What's the old twat wearing now?

They're his Pensioner Pants. Had them since 1973 and never washed them.
by Flappy Dickwad June 3, 2009
mugGet the Pensioner Pants mug.

Pork Scotch dance

A gay dance done by fat old men when they get drunk at barbecues. The spectacle is greatly enhanced when the fat old man is wearing a buffalo-skin hat and strips down to his tartan boxer shorts.
Is that fat guy having a fit?

No, he's just doing a Pork Scotch dance. Ridiculous ain't it?
by Flappy Dickwad May 6, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch dance mug.

Pork Scotch Shades

Shades worn by fat old men who want people to think they're young and trendy. Also useful for hiding bags under the eyes of droopy-faced old miseries.
Good God, what's the old twat wearing now? First it was the ridiculous shorts and sandals. Now the dickhead's got Pork Scotch Shades on.
by Flappy Dickwad May 24, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch Shades mug.

Break-Dancing Fred

A thick old twat who performed a geriatric break-dance on Britain's Got Talent whilst claiming benefits for being disabled.
Does the old dickhead think that the benefits people don't watch television?

But its Break-Dancing Fred! He's a poor old man and should be allowed to cheat the benefits system!
by Flappy Dickwad May 28, 2009
mugGet the Break-Dancing Fred mug.

Pork Scotch Moustache

A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.
Who's the gimp with the Pork Scotch Moustache?

That's Pork Scotch, the fat, ugly security guard.
by flappy dickwad May 6, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch Moustache mug.

Pork Scotch music

The type of shit music played by fat old men at barbecues. The music is usually of South African origin and has a rhythm which the fat old man can't resist doing a gay dance to when he gets drunk on rum.
Monk: The barbecue's fine but why the shit music?

Mick: Its Pork Scotch music. The fat twat can't barbecue without it.
by flappy dickwad June 20, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch music mug.

Pork Scotch Pants

Disgusting tartan boxer shorts worn by boring old men and fat security guards. Usually unwashed and covered with shit stains.
Sweet Jesus what's that fat git wearing?

They're Pork Scotch pants. Vile aren't they?
by Flappy Dickwad May 5, 2009
mugGet the Pork Scotch Pants mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email