Fearman's definitions
A misheard song lyric or occasionally other utterance. The funnier the better. Originated when the seventeenth century ballad "The Bonnie Earl of Moray" was misheard; "they have slain the Earl of Moray/ and laid him on the green", became "They have slain the Earl of Moray/ And Lady Mondegreen".
Examples of mondegreens:
The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind. (After Bob Dylan).
They've all come to look for a miracle. (from "America", by Paul Simon.)
Jumbled shack flash is a gas, gas, gas. (Rolling Stones.)
Lock the cash box, lock the cash box. (The Clash, "Rock the Casbah".)
Olive, the other reindeer. ("Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer".)
There's a bathroom on the right. (Originally "there's a bad moon on the rise", from "Bad Moon Rising" by Credence Clearwater Revival.)
The girl with colitis goes by. (The Beatles.)
Jose, can you see? ("The Star-Spangled Banner".)
Blessed art thou, a monk swimming. (Catholic prayer "Hail Mary".)
The ants are my friends, they're blowing in the wind. (After Bob Dylan).
They've all come to look for a miracle. (from "America", by Paul Simon.)
Jumbled shack flash is a gas, gas, gas. (Rolling Stones.)
Lock the cash box, lock the cash box. (The Clash, "Rock the Casbah".)
Olive, the other reindeer. ("Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer".)
There's a bathroom on the right. (Originally "there's a bad moon on the rise", from "Bad Moon Rising" by Credence Clearwater Revival.)
The girl with colitis goes by. (The Beatles.)
Jose, can you see? ("The Star-Spangled Banner".)
Blessed art thou, a monk swimming. (Catholic prayer "Hail Mary".)
by Fearman November 19, 2007
Get the mondegreenmug. She doesn't even send Christmas cards any more. She's that terrified of what she might get back. Bad touch of albuproboscideaphobia.
by Fearman March 6, 2008
Get the albuproboscideaphobiamug. Grim-looking Swedish actor, born 1953, with a waaay wicked sense of humour. Has starred as hitman Gaear Grimsrud in Fargo, porn star Karl Hungus in The Big Lebowski, eye transplant doctor Solomon Eddie in Minority Report, Ernst Roehm in Hitler: The Rise of Evil and Satan in Constantine. Has also done a truly unforgettable series of adverts for Volkswagen (Unpimp my Auto). Film, stage, voice and television actor, theatrical director, musician and playwright. All round rare auld character.
by Fearman December 26, 2007
Get the Peter Stormaremug. Someone who says we should stop watching so much TV and get out into the wilds, and talks of wind farms as the next big thing in Green, Earth-friendly energy generation, until those techie eggheads actually build wind farms, at which point the environmentalist starts talking about how all those whirling blades pose a threat to bird life and interfere with the energies in a little old lady's television. They used to do everyone a favour trying to save whales and reminding the public of the evils of pollution and tropical deforestation. Now they prefer to chow down on maize that has been so mutated it needs human farmers to help it reproduce, and milk from cows with huge swaying udders who wouldn't last a tap on the savannahs of Africa, often themselves dressed in wool stolen from similarly unnatural sheep, while getting everyone riled up about the alleged satanic evil of genetic engineering. Gimme the old days when Greenpeace were risking their lives before the harpoons of Russian and Japanese whalers, rather than risking the sanity of Western civilisation.
by Fearman August 4, 2007
Get the environmentalistmug. 1. Generally a deeply dysfunctional state of mind in which one is in love with oneself, often at a rather superficial level. From the Greek myth of Narcissus, who wasted away out of unrequited love for his own reflection in a pool.
2. More specifically described at its worst as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD. NPD is characterised by the following:
Refusal to admit that one is narcissistic. The horror author Stephen King once wrote that alcoholics build defence mechanisms like the Dutch build dykes. Narcissists are kind of the same, except that compared to your average narcissist, your average alcoholic is a rank amateur.
An exaggerated sense of self-importance, with the narcissist often talking about private, professional or other interpersonal relationships in which they are involved as though nobody else really existed.
A preoccupation with fantasies of pure or unlimited power, beauty, "authenticity", intelligence, love and so on. Has an urgent need for praise.
A tendency to read what people say out of context, or more likely without any context, and a disability to spot when they are being taken for a ride.
Belief on the narcissist's part that people vastly more gifted than they are (in whatever respect) are their natural equals, and a snobbish contempt for anything less.
A sense of entitlement; narcissists are typically manipulative, haughty, arrogant and generally destructive in their relationships with others.
A narcissist may appear overly anxious to show respect for the property and privacy of those they cannot profitably step on. Towards those under them in any social hierarchy (employees, offspring, subservient spouses, etc.,), they are shamelessly controlling, frequently treating such other peoples' property as their own to use or discard, on a more trivial level barging intrusively into their conversations, and so on. Narcissists treat those below them, or loyal to them, as extentions of their own egos.
Lack empathy and tends to treat other people like dirt, when they can get away with it.
Project a sense of immense effort, as though eternally hoping that some teacher will award them an A for it; at the same time their work is frequently slipshod and they secretly delegate to social subordinates.
Narcissists show no need to take any responsibility for the untoward results of their own actions, frequently going to ingenious extremes to weasel their way out of anything of the sort. After all, anything else would first require them to admit, as more than some petty platitude, that they aren't perfect.
Frequently project their own shortcomings onto others, especially whose whom they can control or of whom they are envious.
2. More specifically described at its worst as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD. NPD is characterised by the following:
Refusal to admit that one is narcissistic. The horror author Stephen King once wrote that alcoholics build defence mechanisms like the Dutch build dykes. Narcissists are kind of the same, except that compared to your average narcissist, your average alcoholic is a rank amateur.
An exaggerated sense of self-importance, with the narcissist often talking about private, professional or other interpersonal relationships in which they are involved as though nobody else really existed.
A preoccupation with fantasies of pure or unlimited power, beauty, "authenticity", intelligence, love and so on. Has an urgent need for praise.
A tendency to read what people say out of context, or more likely without any context, and a disability to spot when they are being taken for a ride.
Belief on the narcissist's part that people vastly more gifted than they are (in whatever respect) are their natural equals, and a snobbish contempt for anything less.
A sense of entitlement; narcissists are typically manipulative, haughty, arrogant and generally destructive in their relationships with others.
A narcissist may appear overly anxious to show respect for the property and privacy of those they cannot profitably step on. Towards those under them in any social hierarchy (employees, offspring, subservient spouses, etc.,), they are shamelessly controlling, frequently treating such other peoples' property as their own to use or discard, on a more trivial level barging intrusively into their conversations, and so on. Narcissists treat those below them, or loyal to them, as extentions of their own egos.
Lack empathy and tends to treat other people like dirt, when they can get away with it.
Project a sense of immense effort, as though eternally hoping that some teacher will award them an A for it; at the same time their work is frequently slipshod and they secretly delegate to social subordinates.
Narcissists show no need to take any responsibility for the untoward results of their own actions, frequently going to ingenious extremes to weasel their way out of anything of the sort. After all, anything else would first require them to admit, as more than some petty platitude, that they aren't perfect.
Frequently project their own shortcomings onto others, especially whose whom they can control or of whom they are envious.
Carol's narcissism inspired her first husband to leave everything to her in his will. Some say she drove him into an early grave. She enjoys the money, but now nobody with a brain cell will touch her and her kids don't want to know her.
by Fearman March 28, 2008
Get the narcissismmug. Advice invariably found in the literature handed out by purveyors of so-called "alternative" or "complementary" medicine, in which customers intending to buy quackery are advised to check with their GPs first to find what "mainstream medicine" has to say.
The venomous diatribes against real medicine, and science and rationality in general, behind the closed doors of the "alternative" movement should tell you all you need to know about the sincerity of the quack-my-ass clause. On the face of it, it sounds obvious, egalitiarian and big-hearted. However, the real intention of the advice is to ensure that if anyone dies or is incapacitated by taking the quack's advice or products (or by swearing off real medicine, which may not be advised on the packaging but is a stock in trade in the "alternative" industry), if the matter comes to court the quack's lawyer can claim that the product or the service was misused; obviously, they didn't check with their GP, how unfortunate, it's not our fault.
Besides, the quack knows perfectly well their client is unlikely to see their GP or specialist about whatever the problem is, or if they do they won't pay much attention to their advice. If they did, they wouldn't be coming to the quack in the first place.
The venomous diatribes against real medicine, and science and rationality in general, behind the closed doors of the "alternative" movement should tell you all you need to know about the sincerity of the quack-my-ass clause. On the face of it, it sounds obvious, egalitiarian and big-hearted. However, the real intention of the advice is to ensure that if anyone dies or is incapacitated by taking the quack's advice or products (or by swearing off real medicine, which may not be advised on the packaging but is a stock in trade in the "alternative" industry), if the matter comes to court the quack's lawyer can claim that the product or the service was misused; obviously, they didn't check with their GP, how unfortunate, it's not our fault.
Besides, the quack knows perfectly well their client is unlikely to see their GP or specialist about whatever the problem is, or if they do they won't pay much attention to their advice. If they did, they wouldn't be coming to the quack in the first place.
Ah, here's the booklet; 123 symptoms this product may be able to cure, 256 further lists of types of people the product may be able to help, 25 more natural products from the same factory that might be able to balance your energies and so on, and, oh yes, the quack-my-ass clause.
by Fearman September 10, 2007
Get the quack-my-ass clausemug. Local term for a digital counter with a green readout submerged in the River Liffey immediately upstream of O'Connell Bridge, Dublin, Ireland some time in the mid-1990s and intended to count away the remaining seconds to the start of the year 2000 CE. Within a matter of weeks it was clogged up with scum and dirt, broke down and had to be removed.
by Fearman December 10, 2007
Get the chime in the slimemug.