337 definitions by Fearman

Also known as the Fairy Godfathers. Mess with them once, and you are liable to wake up looking into the eyes of a decapitated poodle on the next pillow. Also liable to make you an offer you can't live down at the next Bible meeting.
Gay mafia ... I wish.
by Fearman November 09, 2007
(As of 2007) current occupant of the Throne of Peter. Talks a fair amount about gays in rather shrill tones. Likes to hide behind other powerful men before coming into the limelight, as he did as the author of many of Karol Wojtyla's bulls. Really has a fabulous wardrobe. Last seen slinking around St. Peter's in a pair of ruby slippers, just like Judy. Has a birth name meaning rat-catcher, good job he got his current post so he can shed that skin and emerge from his chryalis transformed into a beautiful butterfly. Most beloved closet queen on the planet. After all, he may come from the backwoods of Deutschland, but deep down he knows, there's no place like Rome, there's no place like Rome (click click) there's no place like Rome.
Benedict XVI, I've got your number.
by Fearman August 17, 2007
Verb describing penile amputation, especially when carried out by an amateur and soon followed by ejection of said organ out the window of a moving car. After the operation carried out by Lorena Bobbitt on her husband John Wayne Bobbitt.
You think you're a great lover boy, don't you? Well, if you don't swear blind you'll leave my wife alone, I'll bobbitt you!
by Fearman August 11, 2007
"Actor" and director, full name Mellicent Religiosus No Sodomites Please I'm Catholic Gibson, who was born in New York State and made it big in Australia playing a former cop who becomes a hero for a lot of post-Apocalyptic Aussies when you can tell by the look on his face that all he wanted was a Fosters. Often described as anti-Semitic (Jew-hating), and he may very well be ... on a bad day he gives the Jews about one percent of the venom and bile that he reserves for gays. The most consistently homophobic major director of the last twenty years. You don't believe me? Just watch Braveheart, for Chrissakes. Speaking of which, The Passion of the Christ would do as well.

Having said that, he really does have a cute ass.
Quotes from Mel Gibson:

And tell the English ... that they may TAKE our LIEEVES ... but thay'll NEVAHR ... get theer HONDS ... AP oor KELTS!!
- Braveheart (Director's Cut)

Umm ... yes, well, it's a matter of fact that my grandfather was homosexual, and so was that teacher in remedial English that kept giving me detention, and Pontius Pilate, and Satan, and all those guys from South Africa who dumped on the niggers, hey, one of my best buddies was black, you know, and all those Orthodox Jews were homosexual too, and so are the Reform movement, and there are a lot of them out by Alice Springs and Coober Pedy, and I think Martin Luther was homosexual too, yeah, and ...,
- confidentially leaked interview

Danny, c-mere, stick my shoulder joint back in the socket, I'm too pooped, just don't, y'know, get too close, man ...,
- Lethal Weapon 2, Director's Cut

I only hate the Jews when I'm drunk.
- confidentially leaked interview
by Fearman December 15, 2007
Grim-looking Swedish actor, born 1953, with a waaay wicked sense of humour. Has starred as hitman Gaear Grimsrud in Fargo, porn star Karl Hungus in The Big Lebowski, eye transplant doctor Solomon Eddie in Minority Report, Ernst Roehm in Hitler: The Rise of Evil and Satan in Constantine. Has also done a truly unforgettable series of adverts for Volkswagen (Unpimp my Auto). Film, stage, voice and television actor, theatrical director, musician and playwright. All round rare auld character.
Can't wait to see what Peter Stormare does next.
by Fearman November 26, 2007
Not to be confused with the lower-case-initialled word, Cracker is a kick-ass police drama series from the UK starring Robbie Coltrane (Hagrid in the Potter movies) as a criminal psychologist in the employ of Her Majesty's Police. He is Scottish (of course) and grimly determined to have show-down after show-down with his wife over his additions to gambling, cigarettes and alcohol. Has a bit on the side with Sergeant Jane Penhaligon (whom he refers to as "Panhandle"), played by Geraldine Somerville (Lily Potter in the movies). He is deeply pessimistic and cynical and possessed of an ineluctable Celtic perception (sans tinsel and cliched stuff; think of the real Scotland) of the fundamental bleakness of the human condition. Sarcastic as hell. Unforgettable.
Oh, yes, the criminal cases are kind of interesting, too.
Did you catch Cracker on the tube the other night? Did you see the bit where Coltrane's smarmy colleague jumps off the roof?
by Fearman June 18, 2007
1. Stage name of Joseph Carey Merrick (1862-90), a man afflicted with two diseases, neurofibromatosis I and Proteus Syndrome, which made his body puff out into a series of tumours that deformed his face, head and one side of his lower body. (Often incorrectly thought to have had elephantiasis). Lived as a circus freak for some time before attracting the attention of British higher society. Died in a tragic attempt to sleep flat on his back at the age of 27; his massive head dislocated his neck. The subject of a biopic in 1980, directed by David Lynch.

2. Any social pariah, anyone seen as monstrous.
The Elephant Man's skeleton has been removed from public view.

After the incident with Hannah's microwave oven, she sees me as an Elephant Man.
by Fearman February 10, 2008

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