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Fearman's definitions

bump

The expanding belly of a pregnant woman. Some women think it looks like the side of a bus, we do collectively need to watch that population curve, and some psychotic bible-jerkers who call themselves pro-life give the whole thing a tang of sulphur for everyone else, but despite it all, that bump remains one of the most drop-dead gorgeous sexy things in the world.
No, I'm not a creep. Can I PLLLEEEEEASE kiss your bump?
by Fearman December 26, 2007
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etiquette freak

Someone so obsessed with the minutiae of lower-middle-class good manners that they utterly miss the point of the exercise. The name of the game for these people is not showing consideration for others at all, but merely showing off their own upward mobility in the most vulgar way possible. There are few people more annoying than etiquette freaks, who themselves typically flout the most elementary standards of civilised behaviour every chance they get. A typical etiquette freak would be the character of Hyacinth Bouquet in "Keeping Up Appearances".

There is of course an entire industry of books and other sources supplying the requirements of etiquette freaks, often including such nuggets of folk wisdom as the following, in a book by Angela Lansbury (presumably not the actress): "A lady only has her name in the paper on three occasions in her life: when she is born, when she marries and when she dies."
An etiquette freak will always endeavour to have as many different varieties of knives, forks and spoons for their guests as possible at a dinner party. Preferably all laid out at the same time.
by Fearman August 7, 2007
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alloveniroscopophobia

Morbid and (possibly) irrational fear that if you decide to do something different every day the CIA may decide to keep a close eye on you.
Alloveniroscopophobia. (Possibly) a good reason to become a creature of habit.
by Fearman March 6, 2008
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carbon mineshaft

A carbon mineshaft is a particularly deep carbon footprint, made by an individual, company or other entity that is spewing greenhouse gases into the atmosphere at a truly extravagant rate.
The luxury beach resort demanded that exotic fruits and other foods be flown in, in whatever quantities could be managed, from right around the world, had a giant jacuzzi that gobbled oil at a rate of knots, regularly rented two or three luxury yachts with gas-guzzling engines, and also ran a luxury helicopter link to the mainland that was dependent on a wide range of other special deliveries. It was working up quite a carbon mineshaft.
by Fearman March 12, 2008
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glacicurriculaphobia

Morbid fear of that last crucial copy of your CV/resume being ruined by a splatter of melting ice cream.
Serious case of glacicurriculaphobia here; keep the CV safe.
by Fearman November 22, 2007
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Lickalotapus Rex

Term for a lesbian dinosaur's dog.
Here come the two gorgeous dinosaurs who are voluptuously happy together, and on a lead behind them their little Lickalotapus Rex.
by Fearman December 23, 2007
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mensalactophorophobia

Morbid fear of milk cartons used as jugs and left on a table.
Your mother-in-law has got mensalactophorophobia. You'd better get a proper earthenware jug for that cow juice right NOW.
by Fearman October 30, 2007
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