31 definitions by Eppypotamus

portmanteau formed from bagholder + retard

a wannabe investor who buys a bad stock, then even when it keeps going down year-after-year, instead of taking a small loss, now, the noob huffs some hopium and holds firmly onto his bag until the stock is completely worthless and he is FLAT BROKE ...

syn: naktard, fucktard, trumptard
Nine-out-of-ten financial advisors agree ... people who buy NAK are bagtards!
by Eppypotamus April 9, 2021
Get the bagtard mug.
a portmanteau formed from Trump+shitty+asshole+chump+lump+schlump; def: the epitome of all your pervy, senile, obese, low-IQ, Republican, uncles who, given half an opportunity, will grab-a-snatch your pussy ... even when your parents are present

syn: assclown, trumpanzee, ignoranus
In his mind Donald Trump is the King of the World, whereas in reality, he is only King of Tschlumps!
by Eppypotamus July 6, 2019
Get the Tschlump mug.
Behaving in the manner of an assclown; see Sean Hannity Donald Trump, or any Republican member-of-Congress for poignant examples.
More than 1,000 psychiatrists recently stated that Donald Trump's assclownish behavior is due to his malignant Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but, to borrow a trite Trumpism other "people say" it's mainly because he is a low-IQ person.
by Eppypotamus June 8, 2019
Get the assclownish mug.
Def: The state of having been converted into an assclown; exhibiting or mimicking assclownish behavior; having been hannitized; emulating the behavior of an assclown (for example, any Faux News host, especially Sean Hannity).

Alt def: To be inducted into an ass-circus. Example: "My parents were assclowned by watching Faux News.
My boyfriend assclowned-around, mimicking Sean Hannity.
by Eppypotamus June 8, 2019
Get the assclowned mug.
A portmanteau that is formed from the rhyming words lobotomized and hypnotized and which have related meanings. Def: a form of malevolent brainwashing that victimizes anyone who watches any Faux News host too long (the time until a lethal dosage is imbibed depends on the particular host and the IQ of the individual; for example the low-IQ individuals who support Trump, the so-called "base," comprising about 25% of the stupidest American TV-watching public) are usually goners within 5-minutes of exposure, especially if listening to the most toxic host of them all, "El Diablo" himself, Sean Hannity, the name-sake of this term.
I dozed-off on my girlfriend's parents' couch while waiting for her to get ready for our date. Their TV (as usual) was on Faux News. By the time my girlfriend awakened me (after only 10-minutes) I had been hannitized!
by Eppypotamus June 8, 2019
Get the hannitized mug.
white-supremacist septuagenarian fucktard whose early-morning defecations are accompanied by spewings of Hitlerian hate speech via Twitter Rage; see Donald J. Trump; also: assclown; Republican
Donald J. Trump is the proto-typical short-fingered vulgarian.
by Eppypotamus June 20, 2019
Get the short-fingered vulgarian mug.
(1) to become mentally deranged from the effects of attendance at Trump rallies; the cause is suspected to be multiple "brain slam" traumas (these shocking conflicts-of-logic-and-truth are similar in mechanism to the repetitive concusions that cause TBI or Traumatic Brain Injury); (2) synonyms: hannitized, lobotomized
OMG! Within the first few minutes of exposure to the deleterious effects at a Trump rally, my pervy uncle was thoroughly magatized.
by Eppypotamus June 21, 2019
Get the magatized mug.