28 definitions by Emerson Crossjostle

Asshole Fractal

The coordinated team effort by all the inanimate objects around you to completely and totally fuck with a person for no apparent reason other than their own amusement.

I believe it was Mandelbrot who forgot to warn us of the Africanized bee-swarming, black cloud-ish shit storm where inanimate objects all collude to fuck with us when they're bored. It's called the asshole fractal.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 9, 2013

Bunnypants

A once-popular nickname for a certain ex-president, based on a photoshopped picture of him wearing a bunny outfit instead of his Mission Accomplished flight suit.

When the teacher asked the child who was president before Barack Obama, she answered, "Bunnypants," because that's what her parents had always called him.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 12, 2013

mashed couch potatoes

Oftentimes what you'll find left behind after a tornado and a trailer park merge.

It's a simple recipe. Only 2 ingredients are needed to make mashed couch potatoes: a tornado and a trailer park

You don't even need to add the tornado, though.
Just let the trailer park attract it.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013

remote viewing

Staring at the remote control wondering why the TV won't turn on.

I spent the last ten minutes remote viewing and missed the start of my favorite show.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 11, 2013

This Poo Shall Pass

positive affirmation used to cure constipation

Went to New Age doctor for cure to my ‘having trouble pooping’ problem. Cost: $100 bucks.

Suggested I say affirmation.

THIS POO SHALL PASS

by Emerson Crossjostle March 13, 2013

off the twitter

taking a Twitter vacation

I've been off the twitter lately. Kinda taking a break from social media for awhile.

by Emerson Crossjostle May 11, 2015

dbdb

Acronym: don't be a douche bag

The bouncer lost his stamper; so he used a pen and wrote 'dbdb' on everybody's hand.

by Emerson Crossjostle March 10, 2013