Drapen's definitions
Orochimaru broke up with Hokage-sama because he was one day too old for his father to get embarrassed. He tried to put him up for adoption, but, again, too old. That's why he has become evil.
Pisces: Misako left Tomoe after she saw how lonely the younger woman was.
Orochimaru: If he didn't, she'd have died of loneliness.
Pisces: So it was all for the greater good.
Chiron: Piss on you.
Orochimaru: That's what I said to Naruto, actually.
Pisces: He had every right to be upset.
Orochimaru: Don't worry, I'm here now.
Chiron: Who are you?
Orochimaru: My name is Orochimaru, and I think that Naruto is the very best thing that has ever happened to me.
Chiron: Then don't keep him for yourself.
Orochimaru: *cough*
Chiron: Hell, if you're so smart, why aren't you in charge?
Orochimaru: I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Chiron: Are you offering us a deal?
Orochimaru: Maybe. I'm a master in the Art of War.
Chiron: Use it against me! I'll tell you everything!
Orochimaru: *snore*
Chiron: OHHH SHIIIT
Chiron: I was so close. I will destroy you!
Orochimaru: S-s-sure
Chiron: YEAH YOU'LL S-S-SEE
Aries: It was Ariana who felt special and was told how beautiful she was.
Pisces: She wasn't allowed to date boys because of how brilliant she was.
Chiron: HOW CAN YOU NOT CRY?
Aries: *sniffle*
Pisces: I'd have dibs on her if you have to choose between me and Naruto.
Orochimaru: Look, I really do appreciate you helping me, but, uh, I don't think we're a good match.
Orochimaru: If he didn't, she'd have died of loneliness.
Pisces: So it was all for the greater good.
Chiron: Piss on you.
Orochimaru: That's what I said to Naruto, actually.
Pisces: He had every right to be upset.
Orochimaru: Don't worry, I'm here now.
Chiron: Who are you?
Orochimaru: My name is Orochimaru, and I think that Naruto is the very best thing that has ever happened to me.
Chiron: Then don't keep him for yourself.
Orochimaru: *cough*
Chiron: Hell, if you're so smart, why aren't you in charge?
Orochimaru: I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Chiron: Are you offering us a deal?
Orochimaru: Maybe. I'm a master in the Art of War.
Chiron: Use it against me! I'll tell you everything!
Orochimaru: *snore*
Chiron: OHHH SHIIIT
Chiron: I was so close. I will destroy you!
Orochimaru: S-s-sure
Chiron: YEAH YOU'LL S-S-SEE
Aries: It was Ariana who felt special and was told how beautiful she was.
Pisces: She wasn't allowed to date boys because of how brilliant she was.
Chiron: HOW CAN YOU NOT CRY?
Aries: *sniffle*
Pisces: I'd have dibs on her if you have to choose between me and Naruto.
Orochimaru: Look, I really do appreciate you helping me, but, uh, I don't think we're a good match.
by Drapen June 29, 2022
Get the Orochimaru mug.Recently I have found this really scary creepypasta. It starts with a girl named Jodie who says she was browsing through a store called Babyshop when she walked past a shelve of Bibles. She picked one up and started reading it in the aisle.
A couple of customers started coming in. They thought that she was a shoplifter, and went to tell the store manager.
When she walked into the storeroom, one of the managers was standing there, and he said: “What the hell are you doing in here?”
Jodie just ignored him. She just continued on.
He then said: “The other managers are looking for you.”
She said she didn’t care. Then she told him: “You really don’t know who I am.”
“I’m scared of you.”
“I’m not scared of you.”
She said: “You are.”
He said: “You won’t get away with this.”
She responded: “I did.”
She said: “You haven’t gone to jail. I did.”
He said: “It will be the most evil thing you will ever do.”
And with that, she started taking out a sheath knife.
The manager grabbed her from behind and started attacking her. She took a few strokes in the head, then she managed to get away from him.
She then left the storeroom, and then screamed and cried. She said: “He came after me.”
The store manager was arrested. He said: “I’m going to prison, the police are going to come after you, and the people in the bibles will be coming after you.”
A couple of customers started coming in. They thought that she was a shoplifter, and went to tell the store manager.
When she walked into the storeroom, one of the managers was standing there, and he said: “What the hell are you doing in here?”
Jodie just ignored him. She just continued on.
He then said: “The other managers are looking for you.”
She said she didn’t care. Then she told him: “You really don’t know who I am.”
“I’m scared of you.”
“I’m not scared of you.”
She said: “You are.”
He said: “You won’t get away with this.”
She responded: “I did.”
She said: “You haven’t gone to jail. I did.”
He said: “It will be the most evil thing you will ever do.”
And with that, she started taking out a sheath knife.
The manager grabbed her from behind and started attacking her. She took a few strokes in the head, then she managed to get away from him.
She then left the storeroom, and then screamed and cried. She said: “He came after me.”
The store manager was arrested. He said: “I’m going to prison, the police are going to come after you, and the people in the bibles will be coming after you.”
by Drapen August 15, 2022
Get the Jodie mug.Recently I have found this really scary creepypasta. It starts with the words "Please listen carefully to this recording..."
The uploader claims that this happened in a car ride with the narrator and his "fiancé" (or at least in the car that the narrator was in.) The narrator is listening to music in his car and the sound of his phone rings.
The narration says that he "gently took" the phone out of the ear and looked at the caller ID. He doesn't say how but the caller ID said "apple."
He says that he answered "hello" and that it was the "haunting voice" of a woman who told him to turn on his music player as it "would make it easier for him" to find their location. She claims that they are in the desert and that they need the narrator to throw a lighter onto the "crater" of the "pollen" that is located somewhere in the "desert." She says that it will send them an email as well but that it is for the narrator to give the address of the bathroom. They need to urinate into this crater. The narrator says that they both laughed and hung up.
The uploader claims that this happened in a car ride with the narrator and his "fiancé" (or at least in the car that the narrator was in.) The narrator is listening to music in his car and the sound of his phone rings.
The narration says that he "gently took" the phone out of the ear and looked at the caller ID. He doesn't say how but the caller ID said "apple."
He says that he answered "hello" and that it was the "haunting voice" of a woman who told him to turn on his music player as it "would make it easier for him" to find their location. She claims that they are in the desert and that they need the narrator to throw a lighter onto the "crater" of the "pollen" that is located somewhere in the "desert." She says that it will send them an email as well but that it is for the narrator to give the address of the bathroom. They need to urinate into this crater. The narrator says that they both laughed and hung up.
by Drapen August 15, 2022
Get the urinate into this crater mug.Hinata: I love you!
Naruto: I don't care, I will become Hokage dattebayo!
Hinata: But you are also my Hokage!
Naruto: So? That is why I should become Hokage!
Naruto: Baka! You are the source of my source!
Naruto: You and I are the ultimate source!
Hinata: Inuyasha... what is happening...
Wakaba: Well Naruto... you have become a shinobi!
Naruto: Heh heh...
Naruto: Inuyasha... I will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: You too?
Naruto: Hokage Hinata!
Hinata: Why?
Naruto: Baka! You two must become Hokage baka!
Naruto: With the power of Inuyasha and Naruto... you will be Hokage baka!
Hinata: Baka!
Tsunade: Kami-sama, to save Naruto, I will do anything!
Naruto: We will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: Inuyasha and Naruto... we will be Hokage baka!
Naruto: Hinata and Inuyasha... we will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: I will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: You will become Hokage baka!
Naruto: We will become Hokage baka!
Naruto: We will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: We will become Hokage baka!
Naruto: Baka! Baka! Baka!
Hinata: I will become Hokage baka!
Naruto: I don't care, I will become Hokage dattebayo!
Hinata: But you are also my Hokage!
Naruto: So? That is why I should become Hokage!
Naruto: Baka! You are the source of my source!
Naruto: You and I are the ultimate source!
Hinata: Inuyasha... what is happening...
Wakaba: Well Naruto... you have become a shinobi!
Naruto: Heh heh...
Naruto: Inuyasha... I will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: You too?
Naruto: Hokage Hinata!
Hinata: Why?
Naruto: Baka! You two must become Hokage baka!
Naruto: With the power of Inuyasha and Naruto... you will be Hokage baka!
Hinata: Baka!
Tsunade: Kami-sama, to save Naruto, I will do anything!
Naruto: We will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: Inuyasha and Naruto... we will be Hokage baka!
Naruto: Hinata and Inuyasha... we will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: I will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: You will become Hokage baka!
Naruto: We will become Hokage baka!
Naruto: We will become Hokage baka!
Hinata: We will become Hokage baka!
Naruto: Baka! Baka! Baka!
Hinata: I will become Hokage baka!
by Drapen August 27, 2022
Get the naruhina basically mug.I know I already said it: but if some people who have tape can't be seen, that's because they aren't tape.
How to become Tape Jeffery? Just tape yourself! In this series I have been talking with Dave and his crew to get us started with tape Jefferies and what we can become.
So let's get started!
1) Create your own Tape Jefferies.
2) Create your own Tape Jefferies and a personal tape reel.
3) Build your own tapes tape reel. We will be doing both tape Jefferies and personal tape Jefferies.
4) Get Your Tape Jefferies And Tape Jefferies!
How to become Tape Jeffery? Just tape yourself! In this series I have been talking with Dave and his crew to get us started with tape Jefferies and what we can become.
So let's get started!
1) Create your own Tape Jefferies.
2) Create your own Tape Jefferies and a personal tape reel.
3) Build your own tapes tape reel. We will be doing both tape Jefferies and personal tape Jefferies.
4) Get Your Tape Jefferies And Tape Jefferies!
My brother wanted to do was be goofy and play pranks.
One day, he was playing with a roll of toilet paper.
He cut it in half, like a birthday cake and threw it at my mother.
He told her not to say anything, so my mom pretended not to notice.
My brother was getting tired of playing around and started to push the limits.
Then, he started to sing.
"Baby, baby, where have you been?
I miss you baby, baby... I hope you don't forget about me.
Baby, baby, where have you been?
I miss you soo much."
My mother continued to ignore him.
He sang the same song over and over again.
After the third time, my mother told him to stop singing and went to the living room.
He was thinking that he had finally gotten her attention and didn't want her to stop by saying something like, "Jeffery!
You are being annoying."
So, he took the toilet paper, walked to the hall closet and pulled out a roll of tape.
"Look!
It's Tape Jeffery!"
He was getting a laugh out of this.
I guess it was pretty funny for him to pull out this giant roll of tape and wrap it around my mother's arms and legs.
My brother enjoyed it.
He laughed harder than I have ever seen him laugh.
The tape started to tear when he was almost done with her.
He threw the toilet paper roll aside and grabbed the rest of the tape off the counter.
He was smiling and laughing at the same time.
He grabbed her by her arm and tape.
She started screaming, "Jeffrey!
No!
Please!
Stop!
Don't tape me."
He began to beat her.
One day, he was playing with a roll of toilet paper.
He cut it in half, like a birthday cake and threw it at my mother.
He told her not to say anything, so my mom pretended not to notice.
My brother was getting tired of playing around and started to push the limits.
Then, he started to sing.
"Baby, baby, where have you been?
I miss you baby, baby... I hope you don't forget about me.
Baby, baby, where have you been?
I miss you soo much."
My mother continued to ignore him.
He sang the same song over and over again.
After the third time, my mother told him to stop singing and went to the living room.
He was thinking that he had finally gotten her attention and didn't want her to stop by saying something like, "Jeffery!
You are being annoying."
So, he took the toilet paper, walked to the hall closet and pulled out a roll of tape.
"Look!
It's Tape Jeffery!"
He was getting a laugh out of this.
I guess it was pretty funny for him to pull out this giant roll of tape and wrap it around my mother's arms and legs.
My brother enjoyed it.
He laughed harder than I have ever seen him laugh.
The tape started to tear when he was almost done with her.
He threw the toilet paper roll aside and grabbed the rest of the tape off the counter.
He was smiling and laughing at the same time.
He grabbed her by her arm and tape.
She started screaming, "Jeffrey!
No!
Please!
Stop!
Don't tape me."
He began to beat her.
by Drapen April 27, 2022
Get the Tape Jeffery mug.I'm Cale Kidney Royal Savage and I'm fucking Virgin.
The only people I've ever dated were secret agents and that fucking buff dude from the Greek Olympics.
The only other people I've been naked in front of have been some of my more coldblooded killers and that kid at the gym who I've always thought was hot.
That and my mom, and that's nothing to get excited about."
He grinned.
"So when I saw that on your bed, well, I just had to take it off.
The only people I've ever dated were secret agents and that fucking buff dude from the Greek Olympics.
The only other people I've been naked in front of have been some of my more coldblooded killers and that kid at the gym who I've always thought was hot.
That and my mom, and that's nothing to get excited about."
He grinned.
"So when I saw that on your bed, well, I just had to take it off.
I'm Cale Kidney Royal Savage and I'm fucking Virgin!
Pants Off!"
The shirtless SEAL shouted at me as I trotted back down the beach to base camp.
I did not hear the words, but I heard the tone and that's all that mattered.
"Look, guys.
I told you there's been a mix up."
The way my voice came out, I sounded as disoriented as I was.
It was strange for me to be so damned angry.
Most people would be freaking the hell out.
There was still a lot I didn't know.
"A mix up?
Is that what you call it?"
Cale demanded.
"You dicked over the one woman who'd give her heart to you."
Cale was gorgeous, but he wasn't right for me.
I'd been in too deep with a Marine for this.
"I didn't really dicked her over.
I had to.
I had to tell her the truth."
Cale shook his head.
"Yeah, well, what you should have told her is that I'm a prick and that you'll never have a relationship with me ever again.
Just tell me that you're not fucking some other chick right now," he said, staring hard at me.
My eyes widened.
"Wha-oh no.
Cale, no!"
Pants Off!"
The shirtless SEAL shouted at me as I trotted back down the beach to base camp.
I did not hear the words, but I heard the tone and that's all that mattered.
"Look, guys.
I told you there's been a mix up."
The way my voice came out, I sounded as disoriented as I was.
It was strange for me to be so damned angry.
Most people would be freaking the hell out.
There was still a lot I didn't know.
"A mix up?
Is that what you call it?"
Cale demanded.
"You dicked over the one woman who'd give her heart to you."
Cale was gorgeous, but he wasn't right for me.
I'd been in too deep with a Marine for this.
"I didn't really dicked her over.
I had to.
I had to tell her the truth."
Cale shook his head.
"Yeah, well, what you should have told her is that I'm a prick and that you'll never have a relationship with me ever again.
Just tell me that you're not fucking some other chick right now," he said, staring hard at me.
My eyes widened.
"Wha-oh no.
Cale, no!"
by Drapen April 27, 2022
Get the Cale Kidney Royal Savage mug.Things You Should Never Say To a Catholic Mom:
1. I'm sure your son will want to play with my Catholic toys.
Why it's offensive: Because your own little boy may never be Catholic, so you wouldn't understand. You don't know our secret, so don't even attempt to claim that you know our boys' favorite toys!
2. My kid is becoming more Catholic every day!
Why it's offensive: My child is not "becoming Catholic." Only Mother Theresa or Mother Teresa could speak to my child on a personal level.
3. Would you like to see the priest today?
Why it's offensive: Why would I want to see a priest? My Catholic faith is personal, and my son is not ready to go around asking people to make promises they can't keep. He is more concerned with driving cars, playing with animals, or his chicken.
4. My daughter is becoming more Catholic every day!
Why it's offensive: Because she is not. She is just my daughter. It is highly offensive to suggest that she is "becoming Catholic" because you don't know our secret.
5. My child does not understand Catholic prayers.
Why it's offensive: Do you understand what the F-word means? Do you know how to use a bedpan? Do you speak to your toddler like that?
1. I'm sure your son will want to play with my Catholic toys.
Why it's offensive: Because your own little boy may never be Catholic, so you wouldn't understand. You don't know our secret, so don't even attempt to claim that you know our boys' favorite toys!
2. My kid is becoming more Catholic every day!
Why it's offensive: My child is not "becoming Catholic." Only Mother Theresa or Mother Teresa could speak to my child on a personal level.
3. Would you like to see the priest today?
Why it's offensive: Why would I want to see a priest? My Catholic faith is personal, and my son is not ready to go around asking people to make promises they can't keep. He is more concerned with driving cars, playing with animals, or his chicken.
4. My daughter is becoming more Catholic every day!
Why it's offensive: Because she is not. She is just my daughter. It is highly offensive to suggest that she is "becoming Catholic" because you don't know our secret.
5. My child does not understand Catholic prayers.
Why it's offensive: Do you understand what the F-word means? Do you know how to use a bedpan? Do you speak to your toddler like that?
6. I don't know why people are so judgmental.
Why it's offensive: Because you've never heard me getting on the phone with the delivery guy at Dominick's for 10 minutes because our cat didn't get her salad order right. It's called Motherhood, folks!
7. My son's Catholic school is making him go to mass.
Why it's offensive: Because your son's Catholic school is making you get him out of bed in the morning, make him go to mass, force him to participate in the sacraments, and make him listen to anything other than rap or country music for four hours.
8. I can't believe you'd let your kid go to that Catholic school!
Why it's offensive: You're not going to stop your child from going to public school, so why are you so concerned with mine?
9. My child is coming home with art projects. You know, the kind of stuff a nun wouldn't appreciate.
Why it's offensive: Because you're assuming that all art projects made by little boys are rough, violent, and inappropriately sexual. You know nothing about art, you fruitcake.
10. I'm not Catholic, so I don't need to send my child to Catholic school.
Why it's offensive: You're not Catholic, either! So how dare you criticize my choices? Who do you think you are?
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(This article was originally published at Catholic Mom.)
Why it's offensive: Because you've never heard me getting on the phone with the delivery guy at Dominick's for 10 minutes because our cat didn't get her salad order right. It's called Motherhood, folks!
7. My son's Catholic school is making him go to mass.
Why it's offensive: Because your son's Catholic school is making you get him out of bed in the morning, make him go to mass, force him to participate in the sacraments, and make him listen to anything other than rap or country music for four hours.
8. I can't believe you'd let your kid go to that Catholic school!
Why it's offensive: You're not going to stop your child from going to public school, so why are you so concerned with mine?
9. My child is coming home with art projects. You know, the kind of stuff a nun wouldn't appreciate.
Why it's offensive: Because you're assuming that all art projects made by little boys are rough, violent, and inappropriately sexual. You know nothing about art, you fruitcake.
10. I'm not Catholic, so I don't need to send my child to Catholic school.
Why it's offensive: You're not Catholic, either! So how dare you criticize my choices? Who do you think you are?
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(This article was originally published at Catholic Mom.)
by Drapen November 19, 2022
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